My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine | |
constwrkr46 User ID: 1441894 United States 10/24/2011 09:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I just don't know what to do. This isn't supposed to happen. Not this way... Quoting: exiled1 My son was killed in a car accident yesterday. It is so painful to type these words, but I know there are good people on here and I really need all the help I can get right now. One month away from his twentieth birthday, didn't even make it out of the teens...damnit it hurts, and I feel so bad for his brother, he has no other siblings. I really thought I was through with the loss, I thought I had no more to lose...never thought this would happen, never even entertained the thought. I really believed I was making a comeback and things were starting to get better. Why this, why now??? I just returned from picking out caskets for him, believe me there is nothing more heart breaking to have to do...I still can not believe this is really happening. Family have been here fortunately but times like this when I am alone, gets pretty rough. One minute I am fine, the next you get knocked over by an overwhelming sense of grief or something...it really is too much to handle, I don't know what to do. I just wish i could go back in time and stop it from happening somehow... I don't know what to say, but please, please just say a prayer for us...I really don't think I am coming back from this one....its hurts so damn bad knowing you will never see him again...He was my fishing buddy and we never made the time to go out this past summer. The missed moments are tearing me up right now, didn't know I could hurt this bad. i am usually tougher than this. I love you buddy my heart and prayers go out to you...i mean it...i am so sorry.i am a single dad of a 17 year old boy and i dont know what i would do.i guess opening up is a start.grieve...but dont give up...your son would not want that.there may be an absence for a while...but i believe its a journey...and you shall see each other again.your other son needs you now too.hang in there brother.you and your son are in my prayers.if you could hear him now he would probably be saying"i am ok now dad,i love you,hang in there".....now i think i will pray for you both....then go hug my son.....God bless. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3461030 United States 10/24/2011 09:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
NiNzrez User ID: 1135433 United States 10/24/2011 09:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | what a horrible thing to happen I'm so sorry i will pray for you and your family to have the strength you need Last Edited by NiNzrez on 10/24/2011 09:50 PM Join Me On The GLP SOLAR WATCH Thread Thread: SOLAR WATCH * Huge X8.2 Flare Sept. 10, 2017! (Updated Daily) |
Sandi_T User ID: 1301649 United States 10/24/2011 09:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am so sorry...but,if this is true,why are you posting on the interwebz instead of holding on to your family? I would,and I have only one child. I would rather be crying in the arms of those who LOVE me,my family,than strangers on the web who speak but do not truly care. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3650237 My heart goes out to you if this is true. He already explained that, and you're wrong. People on the web DO care. Every mother cares. Can't speak about fathers, but I'll bet my life that every person who has a child, has ever loved a child, or who has wanted a child, cares. Very deeply. Yes. We don't need to know Exiled1 personally to understand and to reach out to him as a human being. A fellow traveler on the path whose heart is aching. Some experiences are sacred. They are so profoundly human that the majority of human beings will set everything else aside at that time in order to reach out in simple human comfort and decency to one another. The loss of a child is one of the most agonizing--and sacred--experiences in the human reality. None of us needs to know Exiled1 to know THAT. And none of us needs to know him personally to feel compassion and empathy about it. And sometimes, strangers are the best comfort, because they have the least expectations of us. They also are not in such deep pain themselves that they have nothing left to give--as family members often are when a loved one dies. Each of us here is able to reach out and do our best to comfort, and we do not need him to be strong for us. We do not need him to do anything at all. We can be here freely and without restraint, expectation, or condemnation. Sometimes... sometimes family isn't in the position to offer that. No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf: Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives |
Nine's User ID: 2838278 United States 10/24/2011 09:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 382137 United States 10/24/2011 09:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3602384 United States 10/24/2011 10:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | the flag must go up Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3930449 your son died yesterday and your on glp today hhmmmmmm attention seeker in such a sick fucked up way fucker.. I have 2 children, I could not go near a computer or internet let alone glp if one of my kids die. I dont think i could think straight to even write a sentence let alone create a thread.. a lot of parents in here would agree with what I'm saying and so I raise the flag I disagree!!! I made a post on Craigslist when my son was killed!!! There is no right or wrong to grief it just IS!! I hope you sick fucks that call BS never ever suffer the reality. There is info here at the Bereaved Parents website [link to www.bereavedparentsusa.org] that will help both the OP, Exiled and any people who don't seem to understand the unimaginable pain of the loss of a child. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1415174 United States 10/24/2011 10:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | No one can prepare someone for the loss of a friend or family member, it just takes a lot of time to be able to live life somewhat normally again. What you need to remember is that even though his body may be gone, his soul isn't. He'll always be there. Remember the good times, and don't live with regrets and coulda woulda shoulda's. Give yourself time. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find peace soon. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 682255 United States 10/24/2011 10:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Loss such as this is a very hard thing. I lost my wife and my reason for living last year to cancer. I cry nearly every day. I created a memorial website for her that I post to occasionally which seems a bit cathartic. [link to youtu.be] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1442734 United States 10/24/2011 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Mickyfitz User ID: 1295078 United States 10/24/2011 10:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | No one can prepare someone for the loss of a friend or family member, it just takes a lot of time to be able to live life somewhat normally again. What you need to remember is that even though his body may be gone, his soul isn't. He'll always be there. Remember the good times, and don't live with regrets and coulda woulda shoulda's. Give yourself time. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1415174 I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find peace soon. Can't say it much better than this. I will pray for you and your son to find peace. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 845802 United States 10/24/2011 10:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3964977 United States 10/24/2011 10:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I just don't know what to do. This isn't supposed to happen. Not this way... Quoting: exiled1 My son was killed in a car accident yesterday. It is so painful to type these words, but I know there are good people on here and I really need all the help I can get right now. One month away from his twentieth birthday, didn't even make it out of the teens...damnit it hurts, and I feel so bad for his brother, he has no other siblings. I really thought I was through with the loss, I thought I had no more to lose...never thought this would happen, never even entertained the thought. I really believed I was making a comeback and things were starting to get better. Why this, why now??? I just returned from picking out caskets for him, believe me there is nothing more heart breaking to have to do...I still can not believe this is really happening. Family have been here fortunately but times like this when I am alone, gets pretty rough. One minute I am fine, the next you get knocked over by an overwhelming sense of grief or something...it really is too much to handle, I don't know what to do. I just wish i could go back in time and stop it from happening somehow... I don't know what to say, but please, please just say a prayer for us...I really don't think I am coming back from this one....its hurts so damn bad knowing you will never see him again...He was my fishing buddy and we never made the time to go out this past summer. The missed moments are tearing me up right now, didn't know I could hurt this bad. i am usually tougher than this. I love you buddy I am so very sorry, sir. Nothing I can say -- nothing anyone can say -- can make it stop hurting nor explain the apparent irrationality of all of it. We don't see the years in advance that will be forever changed as a result of his death; we don't see the private loving moments between you and your son when he was four and asking you why the sky is blue and why dogs pant and cats purr. We don't see any of this clearly. We don't understand how the time passes and the moments grow to days to months and finally years and they're grown. We don't notice all the subtle changes in mood, thought, deeds over the years... But this we do know -- Love never ends. We know that Love is the greatest power of all. We know that the universe is a bounded space and that energy is neither created nor destroyed and so, you know, in your heart of hearts, that your son is still here -- will always be here -- will never leave you even as you love him until your last breath upon which time you and he shall be together again for all time and fishing again. I am teary eyed for you, sir... May God hold you and your family close; may your Son know the wonders and beauty of heaven; may he talk to you even now in a still small voice... may it be that when you are fishing again and the bobber moves with the waves of the wind on the water that you be visited by him and may you feel at peace knowing that all things have a reason even if we do not understand them for now... and that even this has purpose. I am profoundly sorry -- I am sure your son has apologized to you for dying; I am sure he wishes he could have avoided dying; I know he loves you still and will always love you. Pray, be still... listen to all the voices from all sources around you but, most importantly, be gentle with yourself and talk to your son even now. Tell him what you are feeling; tell him what you are thinking... and listen to the silence -- go to a private quiet place in the country and just sit there and listen: there is wisdom here. Death is not the end... Be well. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3935202 Canada 10/24/2011 10:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'll say a silent prayer for you for later on, when the time comes, and you face something that its too early for you to realize, that beyond the grief, lies a lasting embarassment and humilliation, now that a part of your legacy is missing, and all the time, and effort, and emotion, boils down to nothing more than memories. |
Sandi_T User ID: 1301649 United States 10/24/2011 10:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Loss such as this is a very hard thing. I lost my wife and my reason for living last year to cancer. I cry nearly every day. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 682255 I created a memorial website for her that I post to occasionally which seems a bit cathartic. [link to youtu.be] I'm so sorry for your loss, as well. May you find comfort and peace in your sorrow. No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf: Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3086294 Canada 10/24/2011 10:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | God Bless you. My daughters 19 year old friend was just killed in an accident and it was an absolute horror for all of her family and friends. We are all here on this earth for such a brief period, I suppose it's a consolation to know that we are all heading to the same place -your son got there faster than expected, and we will all join him one day. Stay positive, you have a great deal to live for -and with so many friends on-line, you can console the next person who will need to share their sorrow with you. |
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Childoflight User ID: 3863347 United States 10/24/2011 10:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3795625 United States 10/24/2011 10:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Saying a prayer for you. I lost my son (who was 23) two and a half years ago. Please believe me, the pain will ease up and you will be able to go on for your other son who really needs you. It takes a long time, but hang in there. Praying for you and your family. |
anonymous321 User ID: 3662136 United States 10/24/2011 10:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am so sorry...but,if this is true,why are you posting on the interwebz instead of holding on to your family? I would,and I have only one child. I would rather be crying in the arms of those who LOVE me,my family,than strangers on the web who speak but do not truly care. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3650237 My heart goes out to you if this is true. Oh...but we DO love OP! And if you took time to read the messages, people do care....several have lost children. They most certainly understand what he is going through. When my mother died, a stranger helped me acccept her passing more than anyone in my family. Last Edited by anonymous321 on 10/24/2011 10:39 PM |
tiger1 User ID: 3781023 United States 10/24/2011 10:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My heart goes out to you, and my prayers are with you and your family. You will see your son again, one day. I believe this with my whole heart, just like I believe that I will see my oldest daughter again, someday.She would be 37. Losing a child is like having a piece of your heart ripped out. It changes the family dynamics forever, and even though time heals, you never forget. You have to go on with life, even though it is so hard to do. God Bless you at this sad time in your life, and always. May He keep you and your family in His loving arms. Peace to you. Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow !!! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3945477 Australia 10/24/2011 11:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
anonymous321 User ID: 3662136 United States 10/24/2011 11:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Wow... Quoting: exiled1 I am amazed at the outpouring of support...it really does mean a lot to me. I usually am not the type to write my feelings down. I usually try to mask things with humor. It's just how I am. Thank You To those of you who think I am trolling, yes maybe posting on here is a bit odd to some. Fortunately for you, you apparently have a large friend base to give you support. I do not. I can't expect my family to stay with me 24 hours a day, they all have families and lives to tend to still. Right now I am at home with nothing more than my dog and cell phone to give me support. I spent most my adult life trying to grow a business and family. I didn't leave room for close friendships. Yes, I see now how foolish that was..all in the pursuit of money basically. I felt that was what fathers did and were supposed to mainly do. In the last few years, I have lost everything else, and am finding myself quite alone. Even my sons were off doing their own thing most of the time..Yes, I realize I spend way too much time on here, but there are people on here I have grown to care for and enjoy conversing with as best we can in this situation. It has helped me tremendously over the past few months, and I am grateful for having met them...and very grateful for everyones kind words. I know I am pathetically fucking desperate but I can't help it right now...I wish this on no one any way thanks for all the great posts, it does help...got me through writing this all down without losing it. Don't feel guilty. I'll bet you spent more time with your boys than most parents do. Yes, the kids are usually off doing their own thing anyway...that's what kids like to do....especially with their friends. Friends of ours lost a son in October, 1978. He was in 3rd grade...it happened in a neighbor's back yard on a swing. At the funeral, the wife said that her husband was feeling so very guilty because he never spent time with his son...he always thought that he'd spend more time when the boy was a little older. The husband was either working or playing sports with his friends...then having a beer with them afterwards. I'll bet he never took his son fishing even once. Hugs... Last Edited by anonymous321 on 10/24/2011 11:08 PM |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 3871328 United States 10/24/2011 11:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Borian User ID: 1139038 United States 10/24/2011 11:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ...Dear Exiled1... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3957197 ...I offer my heartfelt condolences at the passing of your beloved son...may he know the comfort of sweet Jesus' loving embrace... ...I pray that God bless you and keep you in this time of sorrow...and that the anticipated joy of being reunited with your boy, sustain you until that wonderful day!... Beautiful. Amen. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2169990 United States 10/24/2011 11:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Your post made me cry. I lost my brother when he was 20 - he was a Marine and was murdered on his base just after basic training. I lost my sister two years ago when she was 40, and I lost my mother just this past April. I remember standing in the casket room with my only remaining sibling wondering what in the hell I was doing in that room - just seemed so surreal. Your post made me cry on so many different levels. I don't know you, but I share your sorrow. I hope that you are able to make it through these next couple weeks and find hope and maybe even some comfort somewhere in the beautiful memories of your son. The only thing that gets me by some days is knowing my mother is with me and she is happy. I know this to be a fact, although my heart is so saddened by her leaving us.I hope you are able to find something to get you through this. I am sending love and hugs to you and your sons and your family. I hope you are able to someday find some peace. [[Hugs]] When you are ready there are many organizations that help with coping with loss of an adult child - I hope that you are able to seek that kind of support if you need it. I haven't read the other posts responding to you so someone may have already mentioned it and if so I'm sorry for duplication - just know that support is available to you when you are ready if you so choose. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1313077 Canada 10/24/2011 11:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm so, so sorry Op. I wish I had the power to make everything go back 48 hour. I know you hurt so much cuz you really were given so much. After the shock wears off, please remember all the good times. You will then cry not because you lost so much, but because you were given so much. Hope you understand what I mean:) You are both in my prayers. God bless you. |