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My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine

 
constwrkr46

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10/24/2011 09:46 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I just don't know what to do. This isn't supposed to happen. Not this way...

My son was killed in a car accident yesterday. It is so painful to type these words, but I know there are good people on here and I really need all the help I can get right now.
One month away from his twentieth birthday, didn't even make it out of the teens...damnit it hurts, and I feel so bad for his brother, he has no other siblings.

I really thought I was through with the loss, I thought I had no more to lose...never thought this would happen, never even entertained the thought. I really believed I was making a comeback and things were starting to get better. Why this, why now???

I just returned from picking out caskets for him, believe me there is nothing more heart breaking to have to do...I still can not believe this is really happening. Family have been here fortunately but times like this when I am alone, gets pretty rough. One minute I am fine, the next you get knocked over by an overwhelming sense of grief or something...it really is too much to handle, I don't know what to do. I just wish i could go back in time and stop it from happening somehow...

I don't know what to say, but please, please just say a prayer for us...I really don't think I am coming back from this one....its hurts so damn bad knowing you will never see him again...He was my fishing buddy and we never made the time to go out this past summer. The missed moments are tearing me up right now, didn't know I could hurt this bad. i am usually tougher than this.

I love you buddyhf
 Quoting: exiled1


my heart and prayers go out to you...i mean it...i am so sorry.i am a single dad of a 17 year old boy and i dont know what i would do.i guess opening up is a start.grieve...but dont give up...your son would not want that.there may be an absence for a while...but i believe its a journey...and you shall see each other again.your other son needs you now too.hang in there brother.you and your son are in my prayers.if you could hear him now he would probably be saying"i am ok now dad,i love you,hang in there".....now i think i will pray for you both....then go hug my son.....God bless.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:47 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I'm so very sorry for your tragic loss. Prayers for you and for him have been said.

Trust there is a reason, and you will see him again.

hf
NiNzrez

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10/24/2011 09:49 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
what a horrible thing to happen
I'm so sorry
i will pray for you and your family to have the strength you need

Last Edited by NiNzrez on 10/24/2011 09:50 PM
Sandi_T

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10/24/2011 09:51 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry...but,if this is true,why are you posting on the interwebz instead of holding on to your family? I would,and I have only one child. I would rather be crying in the arms of those who LOVE me,my family,than strangers on the web who speak but do not truly care.

My heart goes out to you if this is true.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3650237


He already explained that, and you're wrong. People on the web DO care. Every mother cares. Can't speak about fathers, but I'll bet my life that every person who has a child, has ever loved a child, or who has wanted a child, cares. Very deeply.
 Quoting: Nine's 2838278


Yes.

We don't need to know Exiled1 personally to understand and to reach out to him as a human being. A fellow traveler on the path whose heart is aching.

Some experiences are sacred. They are so profoundly human that the majority of human beings will set everything else aside at that time in order to reach out in simple human comfort and decency to one another.

The loss of a child is one of the most agonizing--and sacred--experiences in the human reality.

None of us needs to know Exiled1 to know THAT. And none of us needs to know him personally to feel compassion and empathy about it.

And sometimes, strangers are the best comfort, because they have the least expectations of us. They also are not in such deep pain themselves that they have nothing left to give--as family members often are when a loved one dies.

Each of us here is able to reach out and do our best to comfort, and we do not need him to be strong for us. We do not need him to do anything at all.

We can be here freely and without restraint, expectation, or condemnation.

Sometimes... sometimes family isn't in the position to offer that.
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Nine's
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10/24/2011 09:58 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Very nicely said, Sandi T.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 09:59 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am really sorry to hear this...my father passed away three months ago and I can relate to the attacks of grief that hit you and lay you out. You will survive this. It is hard to see or to know that now, but you will. Your son will live in your heart & mind forever. Do not dwell on lost moments but on the beauty of his life and your love for him. Stay strong and know that many wishes for peace and transcendence are being sent to you in your time of loss.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:00 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
the flag must go up bsflag

your son died yesterday and your on glp today

hhmmmmmm

attention seeker in such a sick fucked up way
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3930449


fucker..
 Quoting: dettro99


I have 2 children, I could not go near a computer or internet let alone glp if one of my kids die. I dont think i could think straight to even write a sentence let alone create a thread..

a lot of parents in here would agree with what I'm saying and so I raise the flag
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3930449


I disagree!!!

I made a post on Craigslist when my son was killed!!!

There is no right or wrong to grief it just IS!!

I hope you sick fucks that call BS never ever suffer the reality.

There is info here at the Bereaved Parents website [link to www.bereavedparentsusa.org] that will help both the OP, Exiled and any people who don't seem to understand the unimaginable pain of the loss of a child.


hf rose
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:01 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
No one can prepare someone for the loss of a friend or family member, it just takes a lot of time to be able to live life somewhat normally again. What you need to remember is that even though his body may be gone, his soul isn't. He'll always be there. Remember the good times, and don't live with regrets and coulda woulda shoulda's. Give yourself time.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find peace soon.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:04 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Loss such as this is a very hard thing. I lost my wife and my reason for living last year to cancer. I cry nearly every day.

I created a memorial website for her that I post to occasionally which seems a bit cathartic.

[link to youtu.be]
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:08 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am sorry sorry!
I will definitely pray for you, your family and for your sons soul!
Hope you heal soon!
Much love!
Mickyfitz

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10/24/2011 10:09 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
No one can prepare someone for the loss of a friend or family member, it just takes a lot of time to be able to live life somewhat normally again. What you need to remember is that even though his body may be gone, his soul isn't. He'll always be there. Remember the good times, and don't live with regrets and coulda woulda shoulda's. Give yourself time.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find peace soon.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1415174


Can't say it much better than this. I will pray for you and your son to find peace.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:12 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for you.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:13 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Done. Peace.
Truthache

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10/24/2011 10:16 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
There are certain moments in life for which there are no words- only silent prayers.

They are for you.
in warm pursuit...
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:19 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Peace to you exiled1

hf
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:23 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I just don't know what to do. This isn't supposed to happen. Not this way...

My son was killed in a car accident yesterday. It is so painful to type these words, but I know there are good people on here and I really need all the help I can get right now.
One month away from his twentieth birthday, didn't even make it out of the teens...damnit it hurts, and I feel so bad for his brother, he has no other siblings.

I really thought I was through with the loss, I thought I had no more to lose...never thought this would happen, never even entertained the thought. I really believed I was making a comeback and things were starting to get better. Why this, why now???

I just returned from picking out caskets for him, believe me there is nothing more heart breaking to have to do...I still can not believe this is really happening. Family have been here fortunately but times like this when I am alone, gets pretty rough. One minute I am fine, the next you get knocked over by an overwhelming sense of grief or something...it really is too much to handle, I don't know what to do. I just wish i could go back in time and stop it from happening somehow...

I don't know what to say, but please, please just say a prayer for us...I really don't think I am coming back from this one....its hurts so damn bad knowing you will never see him again...He was my fishing buddy and we never made the time to go out this past summer. The missed moments are tearing me up right now, didn't know I could hurt this bad. i am usually tougher than this.

I love you buddyhf
 Quoting: exiled1




I am so very sorry, sir. Nothing I can say -- nothing anyone can say -- can make it stop hurting nor explain the apparent irrationality of all of it. We don't see the years in advance that will be forever changed as a result of his death; we don't see the private loving moments between you and your son when he was four and asking you why the sky is blue and why dogs pant and cats purr. We don't see any of this clearly. We don't understand how the time passes and the moments grow to days to months and finally years and they're grown. We don't notice all the subtle changes in mood, thought, deeds over the years... But this we do know -- Love never ends. We know that Love is the greatest power of all. We know that the universe is a bounded space and that energy is neither created nor destroyed and so, you know, in your heart of hearts, that your son is still here -- will always be here -- will never leave you even as you love him until your last breath upon which time you and he shall be together again for all time and fishing again.

I am teary eyed for you, sir...

May God hold you and your family close; may your Son know the wonders and beauty of heaven; may he talk to you even now in a still small voice... may it be that when you are fishing again and the bobber moves with the waves of the wind on the water that you be visited by him and may you feel at peace knowing that all things have a reason even if we do not understand them for now... and that even this has purpose.

I am profoundly sorry -- I am sure your son has apologized to you for dying; I am sure he wishes he could have avoided dying; I know he loves you still and will always love you.

Pray, be still... listen to all the voices from all sources around you but, most importantly, be gentle with yourself and talk to your son even now. Tell him what you are feeling; tell him what you are thinking... and listen to the silence -- go to a private quiet place in the country and just sit there and listen: there is wisdom here.

Death is not the end...

Be well.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:25 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I'll say a silent prayer for you for later on, when the time comes, and you face something that its too early for you to realize, that beyond the grief, lies a lasting embarassment and humilliation, now that a part of your legacy is missing, and all the time, and effort, and emotion, boils down to nothing more than memories.
Sandi_T

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10/24/2011 10:28 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Loss such as this is a very hard thing. I lost my wife and my reason for living last year to cancer. I cry nearly every day.

I created a memorial website for her that I post to occasionally which seems a bit cathartic.

[link to youtu.be]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 682255


I'm so sorry for your loss, as well. May you find comfort and peace in your sorrow.

pansies
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:28 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
God Bless you.

My daughters 19 year old friend was just killed in an accident and it was an absolute horror for all of her family and friends.

We are all here on this earth for such a brief period, I suppose it's a consolation to know that we are all heading to the same place -your son got there faster than expected, and we will all join him one day.

Stay positive, you have a great deal to live for -and with so many friends on-line, you can console the next person who will need to share their sorrow with you.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:29 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Childoflight
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10/24/2011 10:31 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Try to hold on OP.You have so many here sending you love and prayers.May the Great Spirit hold you and your beloved son in the light....
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 10:34 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Saying a prayer for you. I lost my son (who was 23) two and a half years ago. Please believe me, the pain will ease up and you will be able to go on for your other son who really needs you. It takes a long time, but hang in there.

Praying for you and your family.
anonymous321

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10/24/2011 10:39 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry...but,if this is true,why are you posting on the interwebz instead of holding on to your family? I would,and I have only one child. I would rather be crying in the arms of those who LOVE me,my family,than strangers on the web who speak but do not truly care.

My heart goes out to you if this is true.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3650237


Oh...but we DO love OP! And if you took time to read the messages, people do care....several have lost children. They most certainly understand what he is going through. When my mother died, a stranger helped me acccept her passing more than anyone in my family.

Last Edited by anonymous321 on 10/24/2011 10:39 PM
tiger1

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10/24/2011 10:42 PM

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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
My heart goes out to you, and my prayers are with you and your family.
You will see your son again, one day. I believe this with my whole heart, just like I believe that I will see my oldest daughter again, someday.She would be 37.
Losing a child is like having a piece of your heart ripped out. It changes the family dynamics forever, and even though time heals, you never forget. You have to go on with life, even though it is so hard to do. God Bless you at this sad time in your life, and always. May He keep you and your family in His loving arms. Peace to you.hf
Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow !!!
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 11:01 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
red_heart
anonymous321

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10/24/2011 11:05 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
Wow...

I am amazed at the outpouring of support...it really does mean a lot to me. I usually am not the type to write my feelings down. I usually try to mask things with humor. It's just how I am. Thank Youhf

To those of you who think I am trolling, yes maybe posting on here is a bit odd to some. Fortunately for you, you apparently have a large friend base to give you support. I do not. I can't expect my family to stay with me 24 hours a day, they all have families and lives to tend to still. Right now I am at home with nothing more than my dog and cell phone to give me support. I spent most my adult life trying to grow a business and family. I didn't leave room for close friendships. Yes, I see now how foolish that was..all in the pursuit of money basically. I felt that was what fathers did and were supposed to mainly do. In the last few years, I have lost everything else, and am finding myself quite alone. Even my sons were off doing their own thing most of the time..Yes, I realize I spend way too much time on here, but there are people on here I have grown to care for and enjoy conversing with as best we can in this situation. It has helped me tremendously over the past few months, and I am grateful for having met them...and very grateful for everyones kind words.

I know I am pathetically fucking desperate but I can't help it right now...I wish this on no one


any way thanks for all the great posts, it does help...got me through writing this all down without losing it.hfhfhf
 Quoting: exiled1


Don't feel guilty. I'll bet you spent more time with your boys than most parents do. Yes, the kids are usually off doing their own thing anyway...that's what kids like to do....especially with their friends.

Friends of ours lost a son in October, 1978. He was in 3rd grade...it happened in a neighbor's back yard on a swing. At the funeral, the wife said that her husband was feeling so very guilty because he never spent time with his son...he always thought that he'd spend more time when the boy was a little older. The husband was either working or playing sports with his friends...then having a beer with them afterwards. I'll bet he never took his son fishing even once.

Hugs...

Last Edited by anonymous321 on 10/24/2011 11:08 PM
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 11:13 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
My God, I'm soooooo sorry for your loss.

My love and prayers are sent to you and your family.

red_heart
Borian

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10/24/2011 11:16 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
...Dear Exiled1...

...I offer my heartfelt condolences at the passing of your beloved son...may he know the comfort of sweet Jesus' loving embrace...

...I pray that God bless you and keep you in this time of sorrow...and that the anticipated joy of being reunited with your boy, sustain you until that wonderful day!...

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3957197


Beautiful. Amen.
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 11:19 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Your post made me cry. I lost my brother when he was 20 - he was a Marine and was murdered on his base just after basic training. I lost my sister two years ago when she was 40, and I lost my mother just this past April. I remember standing in the casket room with my only remaining sibling wondering what in the hell I was doing in that room - just seemed so surreal.

Your post made me cry on so many different levels. I don't know you, but I share your sorrow. I hope that you are able to make it through these next couple weeks and find hope and maybe even some comfort somewhere in the beautiful memories of your son.

The only thing that gets me by some days is knowing my mother is with me and she is happy. I know this to be a fact, although my heart is so saddened by her leaving us.I hope you are able to find something to get you through this. I am sending love and hugs to you and your sons and your family. I hope you are able to someday find some peace. [[Hugs]]

When you are ready there are many organizations that help with coping with loss of an adult child - I hope that you are able to seek that kind of support if you need it. I haven't read the other posts responding to you so someone may have already mentioned it and if so I'm sorry for duplication - just know that support is available to you when you are ready if you so choose.

hf
Anonymous Coward
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10/24/2011 11:41 PM
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Re: My son died yesterday, please say a prayer for his soul...and mine
I'm so, so sorry Op. I wish I had the power to make everything go back 48 hour.

I know you hurt so much cuz you really were given so much. After the shock wears off, please remember all the good times. You will then cry not because you lost so much, but because you were given so much. Hope you understand what I mean:)

You are both in my prayers. God bless you.





GLP