Hi OP Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25494678
thanks for taking the time to answer questions, I've only read the first 20 pages so far but a lot of what you say resonates with me. Hope your still posting.
About 12 years ago I watched a documentry about money and secret societies and it really shook me, all my belief systems came crashing down and since then I've been obsessively looking for the truth of what is.
For a long time I had a lot of hate and anger toward the cabal/illuminati but for some reason I started to let that go, instead of looking for answers outside of me i started to look inward, things seemed to happen synchronistically. Instead of thinking from the mind i was feeling from the heart and using my intuition more. I changed my diet drastically, started to meditate and learned to control my ego self. I became very much at peace with my self. I was eating the right foods, thinking positively, having compassion,gratitude etc I felt my vibrational energy was really high.
I got to the point where i felt I was one with all things, pure unconditional love for all, total bliss. It got to the point where I felt i was god :) that everything that was manifesting around me I had a huge part in its happening. Soon after though, fear took a real hold of me, i guess I wasn't ready for what I was experiencing. I went from the highest high to the lowest low. As much as i tried to hold myself together the fear/anxiety had a huge grip on me. I was suicidal. Eventually after a year or 2 I've gotten myself back to my normal self so to speak but still suffering some anxiety.
Anyway my question is was this whole episode brought on by psychosis and some cannabis use? Was what i experienced "real" in a way? or was it just my mind playing games with me:) Im also interested in the fear i experienced, i was told by a healer I had an energy blockage but might this fear be caused by an outside source?
Are we all a spark of a divine? Is there a divine being/energy?
If your still hear OP I'd like to ask some questions if thats ok but I've rambled on enough for now :)
Hello Mr. Ireland and Welcome!
I will say that I find your country and people to be a pleasure...although your ilk could take some cooking lessons from the French.
Laughing out Loud!
I cannot say from the information provided the nature of your revelation!
HOWEVER, it is the natural state of humans to exist in a permanent state of BLISS...a state of which your description would represent a BAD DAY.
Laughing out Loud!
You are designed, and have all the tools at your immediate disposal, to live such a life! It is the choices you make, and the perceptios you hold, which limit your progress!
However, you have had a taste! Let it serve as your motivation to pursue your destiny with optimism and the assurance that which you pursue is, or CAN BE, if YOU CHOOSE to follow your passions.
I will be here only a short time. Please feel free to ask anything and I will endeavour to assist you in any way possible.
Good luck, Sir!