12/21/11 UPDATE: Video Diary, My Lumbar Fusion....

Thinking about you and your quest to get back on your feet!Blessings prayers
two level guy

I am copying/pasting this from my other prayer thread because my meds are kicking in and i'm beyond tired, this is the first day i've been on GLP in awhile even though I am always logged on, i'm just too lazy to log in everyday, LOL.

Anyway, here is the copy/paste for those who are interested....and a new video :)



My AMAZING, AMAZING friends!

I am quite medicated right now but wanted to report that I was discharged home day before yesterday. I still am feeling really, really bad and have been dealing wtih some major spiritual warfare which I shared in detail with Tango and Koffee. Because i'm so medicated I won't attempt to tell you all about it but I did put a Cliff's Note's version in a video I made today and know that Koffee will post a snippet from my LONG email to her.

I've been really having a rough time the past two days. I have struggled with lots of emotions the past couple of days, again, major spiritual warfare going on here but the devil won't get the best of me. I may shed a few tears, I may allow myself to feel some pain and sorrow but I REFUSE to lay down and let the devil pull me down!

I owe a HUGE, HUGE thanks to Koffee for keeping this thread going, also to Tango and all my other amazing friends who have prayed for me, sent loving words of encouragement and just been there for me through this amazingly difficult time.

I haven't had much energy to reply to posts here or messages but try to keep in contact with Koffee and Tango for updates. I know that they keep in touch with each other and share my emails with eeach other and then here on the thread which I am SO thankful for!

God has blessed me immensely and I will never be able to thank you all enough for your continued support. Normally I respond to each and every post anyone ever makes here on GLP on a thread I have and I feel quite bad that I have not been able to do so during this time - since my surgery. I am *praying* that after the next surgery I will be able to spend more time here and make more personal replies.

The journey ahead of me is long and I am just now starting to realize how strong I am going to have to be, physically, mentally and emotionally AND (this is a BIG and), spiritually. Yesterday I wrote to Koffee and Tango about the spiritual warfare i'm dealing with and I was not in a very good place so I changed my thinking and began saying aloud "thank you Lord", "thank you Jesus", etc. Little words of praise and today I woke up with a better grip on things and REFUSE to go back to the place I was yesterday.

Today is the first day in many that i've been able to read the responses in this thread on my own because the meds give me triple vision, LOL. Other days i've had family members read them to me and on oother days i've just kept in touch with Koffee and Tango because my energy levels are low due to low hemoglobin from the first surgery.

Anyway, I have typed more than I anticipated and the triple vision is starting to get the best of me. :) I made a video tonight, it's rather emotional toward the end and gives a brief explination of the spiritual warfare i've been dealing with.

Your continued dedication to praying for me leaves me with no words other than thank you and thank you doesn't even come close to expressing what I feel in my heart. Sometimes there just are no words.

To my beloved Koffee, I love you so much my beloved sister in Christ! You have done SO much for me and I can do so little to give thanks to you. Please know you are loved and there isn't a day that passes that I don't thank God for blessing me by bringing you into my life.

To Tango, again, I am left without words to express my thanks. I am so thankful that our paths have crossed though and thank God for blessing my life with you.

To all my friends, I love you all and praise God for bringing you to this thread, for bringing you to pray for me - someone you don't personally know, for your words of encouragement that lift me up when I am unable to lift myself, for just being you, I am thankful and forever indebted, you ALL are a HUGE source of strength for me during this time and I praise and thank God for bringing you into my life.

I will be in touch again soon. Surgery is next Saturday. Until we talk again, God bless each of you and catch my hugs and love always.... <3 Kimberly

I am thinking of you in my prayers Trixie. I do know what it feels like being in the hospital during the holidays. It is not pleasant.

Will put a fresh candle on for you now, hopefully you will be home by Christmas day?

blessings love trixie prayers.you will be fine as your body heals

make sure you pain is controlled sweetie xo

Manyeagles and both AC's, thank you for your kind words, encouraging words and prayers! They really mean so very much!

God bless you all and thank you again for your continued support, positive/healing vibes and prayers :)

New video :)

New video posted on the first page from my YT channel <3

Newest video....

Another video is on the way today due to a big update....i'll post in a bit when i'm done making it. Hugs...

Hang in there sweetie.Try and figure out a way to sleep,melatonin can help,check into some herbals.Prayer

Hello Trixie,

Thinking of you, my friend

Laughter is good medicine:



[link to www.youtube.com]

for you trixie when you can read,i know back pain,and meds


[link to www.positivelypresent.com]

:up5:



[link to www.youtube.com]

wow,hope you filed a medical mal practice tort??????????glad to see your home
I know back pain.So far,I have no issues with so called pain management,we are not thrill seekers!

Hi, I have been lurking for a while and following your posts, and decided to finally say something . I feel somewhat that you are a kindred spirit because last Feb 16th I had a multi layer lumbar fusion on 2 discs. Today is the nine month post surgery date.. I hope it doesn't bore you but I'll start at the beginning. I have had excruciating back pain for. 15 years. In my job as a produce manager for a grocery chain, it was a cumulative effect of heavy lifting over the years . That fateful day on June 10 2010 started and ended like many others .. I hurt but managed to make it through the day. When I got home I sat down on a love seat and was talking to my wife , and crossed my left leg over my right. I commented to her that eerily the pain had eased. When I stood up about 30 minutes later, I went down.. My entire left leg and left foot were numb and the pain was excruciating.. Went to the emergency room and that was the beginning of conservative treatments, epidurals, etc. My surgeon said that the discs were so bad , he gave me a 50 50 chance of being able to work again post surgery.. On feb 16th I had my surgery.I was in the hospital for. 3 nights. I understand all you have said about helplessness, depression , etc. . I am now on Prozac , and it has helped tremendously. I agree with you in the fact that people should never be ashamed to ask for help.....As far as my pain, I went home taking Percocet 10... I was downgraded by my request to lortab 10, then lortab 7.5, and now lortab 5...I still take 4 a day but I refuse to be beholden to them forever. My mobility is actually a bit worse post surgery, and knowing that I can't work anymore I am waiting for disability which is a long and arduous process. I hope you have the wonderful family support that I had following surgery. My dear wife had to literally wipe my butt for 3 weeks. It is a humiliating thing to be that helpless but I thank god I have such an angel by my side. I hope I haven't bored you too much.. I'm praying for you, stay strong, it does gradually get better ...I promise ..Robert

Thx so much hun for your support and prayers! I am a total homeopathic/naturopathic allopathic nurse! LOL. Love me some herbal remedies!

Hugs and blessings <3

Is this your blog my friend? I love this site! Thank you so much! I am so sorry you have experienced back pain and had to medicate! It sucks :( Keep in touch my friend. Thank you SO much for the website! I really enjoyed it and got a lot from it <3 I even saved it to favorites :)

Hugs and blessings....

Hey you,

What are you doing up, oh wait, you are on the west coast, I should be asking myself that question.

How are you doing?

Thank you SO much for posting this for me Koffee...

I <3 U....

Unfortunately my friend, I couldn't file malpractice because it couldn't be proven despite an altered medical record and many other things. The surgeon got his Karma though, last year a woman filed a sexual harassment suit against him after he fondled her and gave her a date rape drug (allegedly) during an interview in his office. IDK if it's true or not, but karma is a b&*$()* and comes back to bite you in the butt.

I am so sorry you have experienced back pain. I hope that you are well controlled and feeling better. No, we are not thrill seekers at all. LOL.

Hugs and blessings to you my friend..

Hello,:fry9:

I'm actually heading off to bed, but I will be sending you an email tomorrow--I started it tonight, but I'm too tired to finish it.

I'm so glad to see you here. Listen to some Christmas music.

:hgg7:

Robert,

I am SO sorry to hear that you have had to go through this! I swear, I would not wish this on anyone, not even my worst enemy!

I totally understand the humility you felt having your wife wipe your bum. I have had to have my mom help me and my 83 year old grandma! I empathize with you and understand all too well everything you have written. I feel your pain, literally! LOL.

My chances of returning to bedside nursing are slim. I will never again work Trauma ER which is where my heart is. At least that is according to my surgeon. That is what he said when I was scheduled for a single level fusion. We have not discussed work options since it changed and is now a double level fusion. I believe that increases my disability rating dramatically. IDK, CA WC is pretty messed up. All WC is messed up to be honest!

I am SO glad that you got help for your depression. So many people do not seek help and it is SO important that people speak up because the emotions associated with this will literally ruin you if you don't.

I really am so glad that you posted! Lurking is great but in this instance I am glad you posted because we are kindred spirits. I would love to keep in touch with you Robert, to help you through this and give you some support! Have you gone to the website, Spine Health? Here is a link in case you haven't visited there. It is a WONDERFUL place and I have made so many amazing friends there that are helping me through my journey. My name there is Trixiemama, same as here so you can find me. It's free to join and post. You get private email and it's just a place I highly, highly recommend checking out. I have gained so much from going there. So many people are going through what we are going through and everyone there loves to support each other. OMG, I really hope you can check it out if you haven't and you can find me there to PM me if you want since you post here as an AC and can't PM here.

[link to www.spine-health.com]

Please keep in touch and if I can lend any support, I am here for you!

You can and will get through this! Stay motivated and DO NOT be discouraged with what the doctors tell you. You can overcome anything if you set your mind to it. The only limits you have are the ones you allow yourself to have. For instance, I may walk with a walker but that doesn't limit me from walking in a store. Poor example, I know. My meds are starting to kick in and my thoughts are becoming clouded, LOL. Anyway, my point is that no matter what disability rating you get, life goes on and you can look at it with your glass half full or half empty. Everything happens for a reason and I believe God has a GREAT plan for you on the other side of this journey! IDK what it is, IDK what His plan for me is either but I do believe and have faith in Him.

Robert, I am here for you and know what you are going through. I hate to be redundant but please keep in touch and let me know how you are progressing. It is so very important to build a support system filled with people who are going through similar experiences so we can help each other, motivate each other and understand each other!

Remember, doctors tell you it takes 6 months to a year to recover HOWEVER, realistically, it will take 1-2 years before you fully recover, mentally, emotionally and physically. Do not give up. Fight this and win! Everyday set a goal for yourself and give yourself positive affirmations! A disability is NOT the end of the world and I promise you, no matter what you will still find joy and happiness again without the prozac, it just takes time. When you go to spine health you will find people who are still in active recovery at your stage, this is a long process, just remember you are not alone. I am so glad and praise God that you have a wonderful wife supporting you and helping you through this! I will keep her in my prayers as well!

My meds are kicking in so i'm going to close for now because i'll ramble on endlessly and you won't be able to read a word I type in a few minutes, LOL so i'm going to bed. I am so glad you posted and so happy to meet you, support you and encourage you through out this journey! Remember, God is SO very good even in trials and tribulations, He never leaves you or forsakes you! Praise Him in all things and give Him all the glory! I always say, what the devil tries to use for evil, let God use for HIS glory! You have a great attitude Robert and perspective on this, I know you will get through it, as you said, it just takes time!

God bless you my friend! I hope to talk to you again soon. Try to find me on Spine Health if you can. <3 Hugs and blessings always....

KOFFEE! My beloved, amazing friend! What are YOU doing on at this time of night? Did you get my PM in private email? I think I got sloppy towards the end, my meds kicked in. I took them again tonight about 40 minutes ago, anytime now the typing should get slurred and unreadable! LOL. You'd think i'd be use to them by now but my 10pm dose is big, I take a muscle relaxer with it and it makes me goofy :)

I miss you my friend! How are you feeling? I never found your thread! I looked but couldn't find anything. Can you post a link? I feel bad I couldn't find it! I have been praying for you and thinking about you all day today! I am so glad you caught me on here! My visits are becoming less frequent here. I come basically to check mail, sometimes pass out karma and then get offline. Tonight though I really wanted to respond to some messages/posts.
IDK, I just haven't been very motivated to come on here. My friends, yourself included know how to reach me off of here so that probably comes into play because we talk out of GLP land :)

I really hope and pray you have a blessed weekend! I will be praying about what we talked about in your last email. You are such a special friend. BTW, please let me know if I can send you that Peace of Mind cream. You will LOVE it and it would make my heart happy to send you some.

Hugs, blessings and lots of love always to you....btw, go to bed! You need to take care of yourself and part of that is getting some sleep <3

Good night my friend, may you be blessed with a good nights sleep that will restore your body and re-energize you, physically, mentally and emotionally. I pray that you will wake up not only well rested but rejoicing and praising God for the blessing of a new day. Sleep well my friend....

My newest video, had a horrible day and I talk about the intractable pain I had...

I will be keeping you in my prayers. My husband was operated on for a spinal cord compression in his neck on Sept. 19. Prior to the surgery, he was in such terrible pain that he couldn't get out of bed and could not walk without aid. We had a very rough 3 months waiting for an appointment with a top neurosurgeon. My husband's MRI and CT showed that his spinal cord was nearly flattened in his neck and he had no choice but to have emergency surgery.

He had a 5 1/2 operation where all the nerves that were twisted were unraveled and put back into their proper place and had a rod and titanium plates covering inside and covering his cervical vertabra. His diagnosis was severe spinal stenosis.

The first few days after surgery were not fun, but he began to grow stronger when he went into acute care rehab. He was in the hospital, in all, for 17 days. Now for the good and hopeful news. His compression was very severe...the doctor said life-threatening and he had weakened to a point where he had very little muscle tone. After being released from the hospital he began outpatient rehab. He no longer has pain, his muscles are rebuilding, all major symptoms are gone and he's back to walking and riding his bicycle. I hope this gives you some encouragement that even the worst spinal problem can be helped. It's been 2 months since the surgery and he's a new man. He's living a normal life and is no longer suffering the agony he'd been going through. He's off the oxycontin and percocet and is only taking valium and a pill which stops muscle spasms. We both truly feel like the surgery was our only choice and we are so thankful that he's recovered.

The first few days post op aren't a lot of fun, but remember, you will be getting better. I hope this gives you some encouragement. We both know the hell you are going through...physically and emotionally. We will keep you in our prayers and pray that you recover as well as my husband has. We feel truly blessed.

Thank you so much for your encouraging words and for sharing your husbands story with me! Praise God for his healing! God is amazing and I am so thankful that He led you to a neurosurgeon who could successfully treat your husbands stenosis/stability issue! Thank you Jesus!

I do remain hopeful and thankful and your husbands story has given me even more hope! I think my set back was the complications that caused me to go back to the hospital after being discharged home. I was trying to figure out yesterday why I was still so weak and why I was still having so many difficulties and after much prayer, I do whole heartedly believe that the second hospitalization is the root cause. Had that not happened I would have been walking up a storm by now.

Each day is a new day with new hope and I do stay grounded in my faith, Praising the Lord for His mercy, healing and blessings that surround me each day.

Sharing my journey here on GLP has been such an amazing blessing! I have met SO many people who have been through similar and I just thank the Lord for bringing each and every one of you to me, to share your stories and to give me increased hope! You know as well as I that when you are in the midst of dealing with chronic pain and ortho issues (especially spinal cord compromise) that the emotions create a whole wealth of problems of their own. I would be so lost without my faith and am so glad and blessed that so many here, yourself included have taken time to pray for me and my struggles. God has blessed me immensely!

You and your husband are in my prayers! If you haven't already done so, I highly recommend that you go to Spine Health...

[link to www.spine-health.com]

I am a (free) member of there and they have forums with thousands of people just like your husband and I. It has been such a wealth of support for me and many people stay after their surgeries and recovery periods to help others through their struggles. It has been a big blessing in addition to the people I have met here on GLP. You can find me there if you join, Trixiemama is my user name there as well. It's free and they have dozens of forums dedicated to spine issues and many, many people have gone through what your husband has gone through!

God bless you my friend! Thank you for your prayers and for sharing your husbands story! It has given me increased hope and faith that all will be well. Please stay in touch and if I can help with anything, please let me know. I'd love to continue to hear about your husbands continued recovery.

Hugs and blessings,

Kimberly



Last Edited by TrixieMama on 12/18/2011 10:10 AM

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blessings,love. I know the back pain issue,two level guy

Thx so much hun, I will go look them up right now <3

God bless you my friend, i'm sorry you have been through this. I also am a two level fusion, NO fun :(

In the support and love of friends though it is possible to overcome all the stress and difficulties! Thank you for your support and for the great info <3

Hugs and blessings...

Two part video discussion on Constipation 101 - tips and tricks to kick it in the butt! Have fun, these are fun videos in which I talk about poop so if that grosses you out, don't watch them :)