How do I help my elderly(?) dad following surgery for a broken hip?

Hire a hot nurse.

Your dad really needs to go to rehab, he is depressed because he can no longer do what he did before he broke his hip. It may be hard and painful for him in the beginning but in the end it will pay off, as he will be able to do what he did before he broke his hip. Please if there is anyway you can get him to go he needs to go. With his surgery and not exercising he could develop a blood clot.

You are such a wonderful person for wanting to take care of your dad, I went through this with my mom and when she got older you could no longer reason with her. I hope your dad improves daily and he is back on his feet in no time. Make sure he continues to eat good quality food. God Bless you OP and may God Bless your wonderful dad.

Could you find a way to assure your dad that, if he takes the physio and rehab, he can get virtually completely back to normal?

My own dad broke his collarbone and had to have physio and he IS a doctor...used to treating others, not used to getting treatment himself. Tell your dad that my dad is presently 89 years old, still practicing medicine, and his collarbone is totally healed following his therapy.

Having said that, if your dad's doctor says he must be in some kind of Rehab facility, I would question that...unless the doctor owns a Rehab facility and just wants to make more money out of it all.In most cities, physio and rehab can be on an outpatient basis and maybe you could offer to take him to and from his physio (rehab) appointments...and check on him from time to time. Unless it was a very bad, uncommon hip fracture, most fractures heal just fine with some physio, rest, and time to heal.

Hope this helps a little.

If he's larger/heavier than you, you've got to consider the liklihood he'll fall while under your care. Falling at his age and after surgery won't be a good thing. Much better he recoups where people are available in force sufficient to move him on/off toilets, into showers and navigate him around safely as he heals.

get the treatment before work mans comp cuts him off

Thank you for the sweet words I agree that he needs rehab, I'm just concerned about his mental state if he goes in. My mom went to an ALF and was dead with in three weeks, but her health was poor.

I've been doing my best to cheer him up, I'll keep at it, along with being positive...I think he can sense my stress. Thanks again, that means a lot :)

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad died 6 years ago, and I miss him every day. So, give your dad a big hug and tell him you love him! As far as his therapy, I would recommend that he go so he can heal better. As long as he has support, he should be fine.

That helped alot, I will be sure and share your story with him. The fracture wasn't that bad, he didn't need a hip replacement, just a couple of screws.

The doctor doesn't seem to have any agenda other than to get my dad well. Seems like a great guy and he eased my fears and aswered all of my questions without being annoyed. Time will tell...

That's awesome your dad is still practicing medicine! I hope I'm still doing something worthwhile at his age. :) Thanks again :hf:

Excellent point, he is a full foot taller than I am. No way I could lift him if he fell, or help him into a shower, etc. I hadn't thought about that. Thank you for pointing that out, I am so glad you did.

So sorry to hear about your not-so-elderly dad. I always wanted a dad but wasn't fortunate to have one. I am genuinely happy to hear that you have a good one.

Please consider getting him to take a high quality milk thistle supplement to get rid of surgery toxins. Comfrey and virgin coconut oil will help with bone, muscle, tendon and ligament healing. His healing rate will play a major factor in his mood. No one enjoys pain and toxicity.

There may be provisions to hire a private in home care nurse; read the paperwork well. It sounds as though he works around nurses or CNAs, maybe they would be willing to donate a day a week or something to care for him at home? Just a thought.

Your dad is young enough that he can still heal quicker than if he were 20 years older. Hopefully he's fairly healthy to begin with. Because he's been active, he can be prone to bouts of depression or feeling un-useful during his down time.

Well wishes to the both of you.

He really needs to go to rehab. They are professionals who can do what needs doing. Find out just how long rehab will be and make plans for afterwards. My husband considered his rehab after a stroke to just be a waste of money, until he went and learned things to do at home to help himself. He would never have learned those things without a pro telling him, "This is where you're having a problem."

Bless you, Im so sorry you lost your father. ***big hug*** to you. Losing a parent sucks, I lost my mom 8 years ago, and we were not on the best of terms. I still miss her, though she was not a nice woman. I can't imagine what would happen if I lost my dad, we are super close.

If he does go to rehab, I will show up every day, and make sure those nurses know me. :)

Thanks for your reply, and another {hug}.

I am very lucky to have my dad, he is a great guy. I'm sorry you
didn't have a father around. If it makes you feel any better, my mom was pretty non-existant, she was there but always drunk. :( sometimes I wish I had never known her, because the pain she caused my family will last a lot longer than she lived...but that's another thread.

I follow a really good diet, I drink Braggs ACV daily, along with EVO coconut oil 2x daily. I was being really good about no sugar and eating homemade until my dad went in the hospital. Eating naturally and organically has helped me so much, that I recommend it to my friends, but never thought of it for helping my dad. Thank you for pointing that out, I don't know if it is stress, but my thought process has definetly been affected these past few days.

Thanks again :) :hf:

I agree. How old was your husband, if you don't mind me asking? Seems like he had a great experience in rehab. I think that my dad keeps mentally beating himself over an accident. I hope that my dad gets someone who will push him positively. Thanks for your reply!

My mother fractured her hip badly. She had surgery to pins put in. She went to a rehab facility straight from the hospital. She left the hospital only being able to literally take two steps using a walker and being supported. She remained there for four weeks. She had daily therapy. After the four weeks she was able to walk on her own with a walker and became very proficient at it. She could even walk without a walker, but was advised not to, as falling again was a fear.

At your dad's age, I believe with therapy in a facility, he'd be out in no time and walking again. But he needs the therapy.

An alternative is to have a therapist come to the house every day. Bue I can say from experience with other situations, it doesn't come close to the therapy one gets in a rehab facility.

Nursing homes are no picnic, but keep reminding him that it will be only a few weeks and when he leaves, he'll be in much better condition. If he doesn't get the therapy, his physical condition may become worse.

I can understand his depression. His whole life has changed in an instant.

Good luck to you and to him.

Last Edited by truthwillsetyoufreeagain on 11/12/2011 10:01 PM

Hi OP! Tell your dad I read an article in a magazine a couple of months ago about a guy around your dads age who had a full hip replacement. What was remarkable about this guy was that app. 3 months after the surgery, he did a 500 mile hike taking 2 or 3 months to do it. He did the whole hike alone and I can't remember which trail it was, but it was through rugged country and he crossed through a couple of states. It was an amazing article, I just wish I could remember which mag. it was in so I could refer it to you. I'm sure it would give your dad inspiration and make him feel less worried about becoming an ivalid. I'm sure that thought has crossed his mind even if he hasn't voiced it. I'll say a prayer for your dad that he makes a complete and speedy recovery!

Keep him far away from Chicago subways.

Exactly. I would visit my mother more than any other patient's family. Some barely got visitors or none at all, which was heartbreaking. As you obvioulsy know, in places like that the family must stay on top of everything.

Last Edited by truthwillsetyoufreeagain on 11/12/2011 10:07 PM

Hire a CNA to come to your home and take care of your dad. They are capable of toileting, showering and assisting with physical therapy. If your dad worked in a nursing home he is very much aware of the good and bad that come with them. He should be taken care of at home. Contact workmens comp and see if they will pay for a CNA, Private Care. Good Luck.

When you hit 65+ a broken hip is bad - very, very, very bad. It is usually the thing that starts the fast, downward spiral to death for most folk.

Even active people are at risk for the downhill spiral to well death.

He most likely is well aware of the implications here and pretty much understands where things could be heading. Since he is closer to 70 he might actually be seeing himself as 70 - thus marking his own 'ability chart' a bit lower, since the older you get the more likely that that broken hip is 'the end'.

THAT is why he is depressed. Which he should know that getting depressed over it is not going to help.

He is going to need someone to wait on him at home. I have no idea what procedure he had, most likely he is going to need to take it real easy and need some one to do the regular stuff like cooking, fetching the mail, newspaper, even glasses of water.

The first week after the surgery he most likely will be in a lot of pain or very 'depressed' from the medications. It is then that he will need visitors to help cheer him up and root for him the most. As long as he has family supporting him and all but willing him to get up and do those exercises, his chances of regaining most of his earlier movement will be far, far greater.


Push him to therapy - pick him up and carry him if needed. Remind him what he is always telling his patients about doing those exercises.

Be cruel, be mean - but in a loving way.

He is going to need that. If he doesn't fight and fight the odds he will go into that downhill spiral.

A CNA would not be able to create the specialized excercises he would need. Only a licensed physical therapist, under the supervision of a physiatrist (a doctor of physical therapy), would be able to give him the PT that he needs.

He needs to stay mobile as much as he is able. If you do not use it, you will loose it. Proper exercise is good for people of all ages. Someone licenced should be the one to prescribe which exercises or range of motion exercises he can do and how often.

He needs to find a hobby or something that he can do to feel useful and important. If he could volunteer to help the less fortunate in a nursing home, hospital, veteran's home, or something, it would be very beneficial. He could feel useful to others and feel he is making a difference. He could socialise with others, which is important.

The worst thing he could do is coop himself up, sit around, and not do anything.

He should at least try gardening, fishing, golf or something.

The best thing would be if he believed this was his own idea. If you push him to try something new, he may feel pushed. Many fellows don't like anyone telling them what to do. If he is that sort, and not really open to suggestions, you could try to drop hints, leave brochures or something. Find one of those magazines geared to active seniors showing them having a good time doing things. Leave one of those for him to find.

If you know any active senior people who have a group or a club of people who have similar interests, you could ask them to come around.

If you are religious then find people from Church to come talk to him.

Everyone needs friends and something fun to do at any age and it is important to be active and doing something with meaning, at any age.

Thanks. *hug* I'm sorry about your mother too. They live on in our hearts!

Yes, so true.



Last Edited by truthwillsetyoufreeagain on 11/17/2011 12:51 AM

Tell dad's doctor that you want a recommendation for home health visits with occupational and physical therapy sessions. He will be reluctant to do this because the company pays the bill, but push for it! Tell doc that this method will be the fastest path to recovery for your dad, given his independence and stubborn streak. If allowed, a nurse will come visit 1-3x a week, a health aide can help him with bathing and changing bed linen up to 2x week, occupational and physical therapists each will also visit 1x week.

Whether he gets home health care or not, make sure you are around to meet all of his docs, nurses, therapists at least a few times each, so you can give them tips about what he likes and how they can most effectively get his cooperation for tasks and homework he must do. The more they see you taking an interest in his care and helping to differentiate him from the rest of the patients by showing them how cool he is, the more likely he will get the best care. If you see something that indicates his depression or if he starts declining instead of continuing to recover, make sure you point this out to the nurses. You will see changes long before they recognize them. My dad was recently in one of the best hospitals in the country, but if I hadn't spoken up and jumped up and down until someone did something, he wouldn't be alive today.

Also, I suggest going to a used bookstore to pick up a couple books on eldercare. It will help you prepare for tasks ahead. Good Luck.

Btw, rehab hospitals can be awesome, but do research to get reviews and recommendations on the best in the area. Some aren't as awesome as others. None of this matters if he wont go, or wont cooperate. Make sure he understands that rehab is for short term recovery, and it is completely separate from long term nursing facilities. Sometimes old folks confuse the two. Rehab hospitals help folks of all ages including athletes. Tell him that. Going doesn't mean that he can't take care of himself, it is just to help him recover quicker so he can get back to his life as he likes it.

make sure he goes to physical therapy...it will improve his condition greatly in no time...i went for a fractured arm and could barely move it before physical therapy...also watch the meds he's given...my mum had a hip fracture and te operation went well...but the prednisone gave her 3 bleeding stomache ulcers (she had tummy trouble b4) and they had to operate and when suturing the ulcer he took out her apendix,and moved part of her small intestine!!!then because she had emphysemia her breathing went downhill and they didn't want to operate again if another ulcer bled so they removed her breathing mask and took her off all support and she slowly stopped breathing...it was awful for me after taking care of her for so long...imagine not being able to breathe in the end...i told her we would all be ok and it was ok to go now and she left...she was 80...i had a dream about her the other day that she was in the ocean having a great time in the water...lol hope your dad feels better soon with his new bionic hip...

Your Dad is only 68. He broke his hip... not his brain. Don't treat him like a child.


Here I will solve your problem...

"He's been a great dad, and I want to do the right thing."

OK... then let him decide what to do.


Sure there may become a time when your dad is actually elderly and needs someone to act as his power of attorney. But your jumping the gun. Now is not that time.

p.s buy him a little walker also to teady himself on so he doesn't fall again...i got my mums for 15.00 at a discount store...