I had a brother who shot himself while watching the news one night, he didn't leave a note or anything like that he just had enough I guess.

He took a .45 and literally blew his brains all over the bedroom.

We both grew up in a family that I would imagine appeared ordinary on the outside, but my brother always seemed to be over emotional and incapable of coping with what I perceived as just life for what it was, a struggle bewteen good an evil.

I guess it is hard to judge but I know I had a lot of fun with friends and gotten real close to a wide range of types of people.

I think most people who kill themselves feel like no one cares.

When i think about suicide I think abut the good I can and have done. One thing I can honestly attest to is that I have always defended the weak against the bullies in life, including corrupt authority which I abhor. In fact almost every conflict I have had in life has involved a more powerful entity exercising power and authority in an unjust manner over a a weaker victim for a frivolous reason, sometimes it seems these people just hate the weak and seek them out to prey upon.


I've though about ending the pain of life, it would be a quick way to put and end to the endless suffering, but then I think of the special moments when you make a connection and you see there is more to life than the obvious, that it has a purpose.

No matter who you are, how bad you look , how bad a situation you are facing in life, or how little you have, there is always someone capable of and willing to love you and care about you.

Most people just look in the wrong places. For me it has always been animals and children that pull me out of my depression and my disdain for life and the way things are, though it seems like evil has the upper hand and controls everything in our lives, these two have always been able to show me that there is hope for the future and there is love left in the world that asks for nothing in return but the same.


As for it being the cowards way out, I must digress, it takes great courage to face the unknown, while facing the known though it might be horribly bad takes less courage.

This I know, though this purpose is intentionally hidden from us, there is a purpose to our existence, and killing yourself and freeing your soul from the situation it was placed in is not the creator's intention.

One of the strange things about suicide that has always intrigued me is how often people with so very much to live for and a great possible future so often kill themselves, whereas people who seem to have literally no hope to ever have a meaningful existence cling to life.