Aspiring novelists, a first paragraph please

James Bond waved goodbye to the Russian Cosmonauts in the International Space Station. "Toodlepip gentlemen, I must leave now!".

Bond leaped from the airlock of the ISS and plummeted towards the blue planet. After falling about 20,000 metres, his parachute opened. He steered the parachute towards what appeared to be open ocean. But beneath the ocean was a North Korean submarine...

Working on a Conspiracy\Horror novel.. here's my first:

Logan stepped cautiously forward, the strange green shimmering light before him the only thing his eyes could focus on. As he approached closer to the light, he could feel vibrations raging through the cool desert air, increasing in intensity, overwhelming his senses. The closer he drew, the more forcefully the vibrations overtook his being. Suddenly, it was almost as if the air itself had ignited, and a flash of brilliant white light erupted in all directions. Logan covered his eyes, shrieking in pain as the brightness seared his eyes like red hot embers. He fell to one knee, still holding his hands over his eyes, but now, he could hear the ungodly sound of voices chanting all around him. The ferocious luminescence had retreated back to whatever extraordinary place it had arisen from.

Pretty good.

He felt it first with his hand, the empty glass wet and cold and hard, and then he smelled the sweet stale scent of the spilled booze and groaned, not wanting to open his eyes yet. It was a good sapping down, he hadn't seen it coming, and by now Gloria was no doubt on that plane to LA thinking she could still talk Jose' out of the lease for the seventeeth floor. He laughed imagining her trying, and then winced with the pain. And when he opened his eyes, he groaned again as he saw they had cut the end off of the loaf of bread where he had hidden the data chip. Odds were the idiots just wanted a sandwich, but that wasn't going to do Sam any good when they cracked the encryption on the chip and found out about the boat.

Desperation deemed the lascivious vixen at an impasse and her mind raced and screamed like a banshee in daylight, the viral psychosis was trapped within the bounds of the firewall programme, designed solely to erradicate lust.

Regards
Jules

Once upon a time
over the hills and far away
Eating yellow belly cusTard
and green snot pie.
Was a totally unsignificant fat arsed Troll
who was about to hit his latest post on glp
When suddenly-out of the blue...

over to you

That's what I thought. Keep at it OP.

I can hardly bear, now, to remember how they slaughtered the oxen. It was a slow bleeding, with much noise and tumult on the beasts’ part. Strong men of rank restrained the pair with a kind of harness they held tight with long leather straps wrapped around their arms, and were repaid for their efforts with jets of blood which covered their tunics and arms, and even their faces. They made a game of it, opening their mouths wide for the warm and salty streams of red – laughing and snorting and spitting when too much of it came in.

The bullet that killed the failed writer had penetrated his skull just below the left eye socket. At the hack's funeral, a long-suffering editor that he had sent countless unreadable manuscripts to, remarked that it seemed an appropriate spot since no one would shed a tear for the delusional untalented cunt.

Cruel, but funny.

Thanks, but I am cursed with laziness. I like the title, some one called me that in my Karma, which I found funny.

After I'd scraped up the burnt flesh, and dumped it into the dog cage, I reset the 30mm cannon for a lower detonation, to take out cars.

I like that. Real talent there. You should finish it.

ROFL.

I like to pound pussy. I also like to pound asshole. I am not sure which one I prefer to pound. Asshole is tighter, but pussy smells better. I think it depends on the asshole and the pussy. A clean, bleached asshole will be better than a stanky, meaty pussy. A nice moist pussy will be better than a stinky, crusted asshole. When it comes to eating the crusted assholes out, I always wish I would have eaten the pussy instead...

I was at the Joes throwing down bourbons one after another. I was fired from my job at the pawn shop and Darla left me a note on the kitchen counter stating she was leaving forever. At least she did not take the roaches. I was grieving my failed life as images of pain and grief poured through my numbed mind. I thought about all the women and now Darla, who accused me of not meeting her emotional needs and all I needed to do was listen and not fix her problems or something like that I never really payed attention to her shrilly voice.
Then I saw her, golden hair that looked fine as gold. A sharp featured woman with a pert nose and pouty lips. She had a body that could rock a ship and she was dressed to kill. She spoke with a deep raspy voice and asked if I had a light. I pulled out my lighter and the bartender reaches over an beats me to the punch.
He looked at me and said, " The man who is to slow is really just a drunk schmo, honey just to let you know his light is a little low."
Bastard bartender, he was a half white half black cat. He always wore a stupid extra long striped top hat. Tonight he messed with the wrong fella, the straw that broke the camels back had just been carefully placed upon my sanity.

I pulled out my Glock .45 and shot the "CAt In the Hat" right in the gut, he fell to the floor and writhed with pain.

I stood over him and screamed, " You stupid CAT! How did you like that? What you have nothing to say? Awe you are having a bad day? You wanna cat block me, no you will regret that move just wait and see! How many times have I said, I am sick of your stupid rhymes? Oh my gosh the time has been flying and now its time for the cat to start dying!
I unloaded twelve more rounds into his chest, lowered my gun and sauntered to the door feeling as though the weight of world had just been lifted.

Last Edited by FubarMan on 12/21/2011 09:20 PM

What we see here is amazing fresh talent.
You have a bright and sunny literary future sire.

cool story brah

I have already posted a sample of my literary work here on a thread by CrazyJarHead. So you guys can have a look at it. Whatever I wrote on that thread was impromptu, and I typed all of those directly into the GLP reply box, and was not prepared or rehearsed in any way:
>>
Thread: Plane Carrying Drugs Lands at Houston Airport With No Pilot on Board

The man held out his hand and a young hand fell into it. The young hand was delicate, with the nails looking freshly done, and a large diamond ring on the finger it's supposed to be on when people are married. This young hand was one of a dozen or more all vying for his attention. He chose the young hand with the red nails and the wedding ring out of all the others. The man clamped down on that hand and yanked, pulling the woman free from the crowd of yelling maniacs and onto the platform where he stood, only she looked nothing like he imagined she would and he let out a yell in surprise.