Wierd things you have seen in the woods.

Ok. So I told you the scary noise in the woods story so I could tell you this one.

Its late summer around 1975 or so. My cousin and I are in our mid teens. Like alot of farm boys at this age, we had developed a hankering for beer. Beer was somewhat hard to come by at this age, but not all that hard if you knew where to look.

We had discovered, (while riding around on our dirt bikes) that along side of a certain gravel road we could find beer in the ditch, or in a little creek culvert that ran under the road. Some times a full 6 pack, more times a few singles. We never new for sure what we would find, but usually found some.

We called this road, Rubber road, not because the road was made of rubber, but because of what littered it along its length. Our folks called it lovers lane,,but we liked Rubber road better.

Has summer closed, my cousin, myself and a friend, had accumulated quite a little stash of beer, that we kept hid up in the hayloft. Of course we had raided it a few times on the weekends, but warm beer is not much fun.
We decided we needed a better and cooler hiding spot for our beer, instead of the 100+ degree hayloft.

What we needed was a fresh water spring. All the creeks around the farm had dried up, or had turned into green funky
trickles of water.

The only spring I knew of was down at the bottom of the ravine. The ravine that grandpaw and I "may of started down" back in 68.

At the bottom of the ravine had once been a little pond, the "frog pond" we called it. It had dried up, leaving a nice grassy little clearing at the base of the bluff. About the size of one of those above ground, round swimming pools.
It had once been feed by a little spring, but at this time the spring had diverted into a little creek, cutting off its supply to the little pond.

We decided that this would be the perfect spot to stash our supply, along with a nice spot to camp and drink our beer.
We could ride our dirt bikes along the bottom edge of the woods, and with a bit of whacking, clear a path right to our spot.

The 3 of us set to making this our perfect spot, cleared a path, made a spot for a fire and put in a big pile of firewood. We even went so far has to dig a hole into the bank of the creek and sank in a big old cooler, and diverted some of the cold spring water into it. With a few leaves and sticks covering it, you would never know it was there. It was a perfect spot. (although still a bit creepy to me, being so close to that briar patch).

We moved our beer (along with half a jug of Morgan David wine ) into the cooler and planned our big camp out. Maybe we would invite some other guys out,, maybe we could even get some girls to come out.
It was going to be the greatest night ever.

My wife just told me to stick to telling my stories verbaly, cause I do that real good rather than typing them up.

Sorry,,, I really was getting into it.

nonsense, most people are better verbally than writing though! LOL

I have worked as a professional writer (non-fiction only) and still do some freelance. It would be cool to see the stories on here "cleaned up" for a small book. With credits given to the original posters of course. Not saying who could finance such a thing, but it would be cool. "GLP Presents: Weird Things We've Seen in the Woods." Available on Amazon and the GLP giftshop, where of course you could also purchase your GLP mug. ;)

of course you'd only purchase the mug if you wanted to let your coworkers know the truth about where you spend your "free" time. LOL

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same here in Sweden

meating places for fags

This thread is awesome, it feels like a virtual GLP camping trip with spooky stories being told around a fire.

a page from a dictionary, where somebody took the word "weird" and changed the spelling to read "wierd"


and yes, I have been drinking ...

no pun intended with that spelling I'm sure. LOL

Great thread

Well the big night had finally came.
The three of us were going to get rip roaring drunk and howl at the moon all nite long. (couldnt talk any girls into joining us, thankfully) The nights had become cool, and had thinned out the mosquitoes, so it was now or never.

We packed a sack with hot dogs, buns and chips and such. Loaded up our bikes with our bed rolls, kerosene lantern, and fishing poles and headed out to our camp.
When we arrived we put the hot dogs and such in the cooler, laid out sleeping bags and kinda tidied up our little clearing.
It was early in the afternoon ( much to early to start the festivities ) So we headed down to the river to spend the rest of the day fishing.
Has the sun began to set, we headed back, not realizing that back at the camp the sun had already set behind the bluff. It was already dark in that little clearing in the woods.
We started our fire and lit our kerosene lantern. Cooked up our hot dogs on sticks. We had already learned that having food in your gut was the proper thing to do, when preparing for what we intended on doing.

Ok,, the scene is set.

It does not take to long before we are feeling the effects of the booze. Were laughing, chasing each other around, just having a high ole time. After a bit, we tire ourselves out and all we can do is lay on our sleeping bags, telling drunken scary stories and such. Of course I go into my story about the sound I had heard years ago. Just a little bit more than a stone throws away from where we lay.. My cousin helping to embellish it all the more, trying to get our friend scared. By the time I was done telling the story we were all a bit jittery ( I told ALL the story, such that it even scared me) We all just kinda laid there listening to the night sounds around us, just ready to bolt if we heard the slightest hint of a beep or a bloop.

When all of a sudden my friend sits up and says,, What the hell is that over there?! He points to just beyond our little clearing, just barely in the light of our little kerosene lantern. My cousin and I sit up and peer into the woods where he is pointing. Has our eyes adjusted to the dimness and the booze we both whispered at the same time ,,,its a fking skull,,, its a fking BIG ass skull.

It was not a human, deer, horse, raccoon, cow or anything else we could name skull. The three of us crawled over to the fire and tried to get it built up, to throw out more light.

That wasnt here before,, we all agreed. We would of seen it clearing the spot or gathering firewood the weeks before. Our friend just kept pointing and saying,,, "What de hell isit,, what de hell isit" over and over.

Has the fire got brighter we could make out the eye socket's, and then we just knew,,,,,,,,,,,,It was a fking huge ALIEN skull,, just glaring at us. It was like a huge fat headed toilet bowl lid,,,kinda orangeish pink sorta glowing in the light. We just starred at it, slack jawed,, trying to come up with something more sensible. A drunken volley of ,," yes it is,,, No it aint,,, yes it is,,,noway,,,It cant be,,,, yes it is,,,, just look at it,,, between the three of us..

But nope,, no doubt about it ,,, its a huge elongated alien skull with great big eyeballs, staring at us.

Suddenly my cousin screeches,, " There another one!,, and another one!! There fking surrounding us!!! There alive!! There coming!! They seemed to be just appearing out of the gloom around us,,, has the fire got brighter.

We throw more wood on the fire,, we stare into the woods to see just how many are coming. We count 7 for sure. But they were not all skulls or heads,,some of them were like giant alien eggs. Some appeared to be pulsating in the dim firelight.

One of which we could tell had hatched, has it was all split open, empty and laying on its side. And one was well on its way to hatching, by the cracks showing around it. Holy fking sht,, there was a baby fking alien in the woods with us. "Maybe even more " I croaked out.

We quickly surmised that this was a place aliens would come to lay their eggs and then die. It was the only explanation our boozeled brains could think of.

I start freaking out, has I realized that those vague memories of granpaw and me coming down this ravine years ago were real. They had stopped us before we got to this spot,, what the hell are they going to do to us, now that were smack dab in the middle of the alien nursery?? We had to get out of there.

We wobbly stood up preparing to race up the ravine to granpaws house. A repeat of what I had did years ago. When all of sudden my cousin grew a set of drunk balls, and said,,, "fck this shit",,, picked up a burning limb from the fire and threw it at the nearest alien egg.

It was a perfect throw (considering how drunk he was) The unburning part of the limb split the egg right down the middle. By the glow of the burning end of the stick we could see a gaseous greenish yellow smoke arising out of the egg. It was growing ever bigger and thicker, wafting on a slight breeze towards us.

I yelled at him" What the fck are you doing!!! You just killed that baby alien!! There going to Skin us!!!
I fkg told you they were down here!! Whats wrong with you!!

My friend is feebly trying to run up the ravine, Screaming,, "its poison gas,, get away,,,get away,, run! Run!!

I am starting to hyperventilate,,,,,, I cant run.

My cousin picks up another stick and the lantern and walks over to the skull and impales it with the stick and walks back toward me, holding it up like a head hunter coming back to the village with a trophy.

I drop to my knees, and start praying that the aliens will kill me before they skin me. I hear my friend not all that far up the ravine screaming Oh No,, Oh noes, oh dear God no,, He was looking back at my cousin coming back to the fire with the alien head impaled on a stick. He musta also known the aliens would now skin us for sure.


My cousin starts to get a big grin on his face, and starts yelling at our friend to come on back. Telling us both to stop being pussy's. He starts laughing, yelling out for the aliens to come get us,,,,Daring them to come skin us ,,,hes just laughing his self sick.

I hear our friend slowly making his way back, doing his "what de hell isit"? thing.

My cousin plants the stick with the skull into the soft soil next to the fire, and collapses on the ground laughing like a drunken fool.

My friend and I are standing on the opposite side of the fire, staring at the huge skull,, both of us begging for him to tell us "what de hell isit?

He managed to roll on his side, and between gasps for air, got out the words,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Calvatia gigantea (Google image is your friend)

The weirdest thing I thought I ever saw in the woods,,,, and I do tell the story much better than typing it.

I forgot about this thread. Awesome stuff. I would like to share a couple of my odd encounters.

Both times were in the same area. We always knew this area had messed up stuff happening but nothing ever made it's self known or stood out to bad. That changed one night I got my car stuck in mud on one of the roads. Keep in mind the back story to this place adds to the wow factor. Something that would make a good cheap b movie. Anyway, the history on this land is it's made up of farms (most know each other) and they have a river with one massive island. In a lot of spots the island is so close to farm property you can just jump over. Well, on this island is an indian grave site. Lol Yeah...B movie like I told ya.

So I get my car stuck in mud and it's 10 or 11pm. To the driver side is just field and to the passenger side is black berry bushes as close as a couple feet. My self and one friend are there. As soon as both of us are out of the car trying to look it over and see how bad the back tires are stuck we hear movement in the black berry bushes. Both of us are used to deer being out there and at first it didn't make enough sound to say for sure yeah that sounds like something on 4 legs. Not even after a minute it gets our attention again and this time for sure both of us think it's one of our buddies playing a joke on us because it sounds like something on two legs, and no this story isn't about a bigfoot. I kind of wish that's what we were around. what walked out of the patch was invisible...the only thing we saw was the grass parting in a way as if someone or something was walking towards us. We both get into the car, start rocking it, and to our luck that gets us out.

The second time, that happened on the same property but near the river bank at 9-11pm (keep in mind this all happened in my early 20's. I'm 30 now so the time it happened is rough). Near one of the oak trees we would hang out by, the truck headlights were on and we once more noticed something fucked up. It distorted the air like that of a heat wave in summer but this was winter and the heat wave looking thing had a very defined shape of a head, shoulders, and figure. Just standing there...Watching us...The really messed up thing is it was huge. Like over 7 feet at the very least.

One last time I would like to share with all of you. On this property, this farm has been in my friends family for I don't know how long. The point is in their family room is an old painting of someones grandma from way the hell back. This person did die on the farm. That much was told to me. On one night we had a party. On this night one of our friends who had been having issues in his married life was venting to me. Everyone else was piss drunk and I stayed for the most part sober enough to help or keep a watch over things as after all we are still in the woods. So he and I take a walk and he tells me how he thinks his wife will leave him and is seeing another man. He later goes to bed and most everyone else is off having sex, passed out, or doing whatever it is we do when we are drunk lol. Then it happens. I'm by the fire and threw the brush I see a figure with no head walk to me. All grey/blue with the only thing I can see is a body, shoulders, and arms. Dressed in this old style dress. Later that night I help another friend go back to their house so she can sleep in her own bed. Looking at the painting I noticed that was the same body/dress I had witnessed. What made this night strange is the very next day, our friend who took a walk and talked with me, drove to some random location, got out of his car, shot his car to hell then turned a gun on him self to solve his problems. That morning I just felt weird and later got a call from a deputy asking questions and telling me what had happened.

I have others, but that property takes the cake.

Last Edited by WhoWhatHuh on 03/01/2012 08:51 AM

This. All we need now are some s'mores!

In the 70s I had to ride my motorcycle through a particular part of a forest and when I drove through it, (about one mile) It felt as if something very evil was chasing me through it and I would do 90 miles and hour to get through it. But here is the trippy part. I was speaking with a person many years later who I had just met, and we were talking motorcycles. He told me of an area he use to drive through that made him feel he was being chased by something, and when I asked where it was, he gave the same location I had driven through and felt the same thing. The hair on the back of my neck stuck up when he told me this.

My husband told me when he was in college in Southern Illinois, him and 2 of his friends went into the woods and all of them witnessed about a dozen or so gnomes. He said they heard like screeching noises and they looked up the embankment and saw them coming for them. He said they all looked at each other in disbelief and ran as fast as they could to their car and sped off.

He said he will never forget it. My husband doesn't make stuff up like this.

Wow! That is disturbing.

for Friday night readers

Bill Clinton wants to Bump and Grind

for MOOOOAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Got another one my uncle,yes thats right,lol,told me at a family dinner last night. Will come back later and share when I have more time. In the meantime, BUMP

I was solo kayaking on a mountain lake in the middle of BC. Camped on a beach in the middle of nowhere, nothing around. I get bored and lonely sitting by the fire one night so I send out a psychic broadcast at the mountains and the stars, saying

"feel free to come visit me if your intentions are good and your heart is pure. We can learn about each other's lives, share some space, and I promise I will try to limit my fear reaction."

So I wake up in the middle of the night, its very still and very dark and I'm suddenly so wide awake that it feels like something strange is going on. I hear a few knocks out in the distance. I try to fall back asleep but every few minutes there are a few more knocks, like something hitting a tree very hard, and it keeps getting closer fast. At one point I hear more knocks way up the valley in the distance like call and answer. Every set of knocks is like a little phrase somehow, each is different, 2-5 strikes. They get closer and closer until the sound is LOUD and it must be within 100 meters.

I'm scared so I send out a psychic message as loud as I can without actually speaking. "Please leave, please stop, I know you are big because you are moving so fast and knocking so loudly. I can't see you, I'm too afraid to leave my tent, please just leave and don't make any more sounds. Please just leave, I'm so scared"

And its quiet. Perfectly quiet, perfectly still.

I felt very ashamed when I woke up for not controlling my fear response.

There are some of you who have read this thread all the way through, and found it quite enjoyable. And you've thought about posting your own experience, that it would make a great addition.

But then you always think better of it, thinking "I've never told anyone. Its too bizarre, even for this thread. No one would ever believe such a thing."

Well, my friends, now is the time to share it. Please post.

UP THE JAMZ




EM' UP JUST A LITTLE LOUDER

Greatest and scariest thread ever

Here's my story

Hiking with friends near Old Man's Cave in Southern Ohio. We went waaay off trail and out in the middle of nowhere we see a young woman walking with a crying baby in her arms.

She went on her way and we went on ours, not thinking anything was amiss.

After walking around the woods for several hours...lost, really...we came upon a road and hitchhiked back to the car, parked several miles away.

Dude dropped us off at our car. We were so relieved! Then, we saw the strangest thing...

We saw the same young woman walk out of the woods, walk to a car, and drive away.

She didn't have a baby in her arms anymore. She was alone, and she drove off down the road.

True story.

I would have chased her down and beat the crap out of her till she talked you worthless meat sack.

It is true they can read minds and speak to you via the mind. To bad your were so frightened. It could have been a wondrous experience.

thats why they come back.