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Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8096291
Canada
01/01/2012 09:43 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now!
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Document and present it before the judge. It will then get corrected.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5114133


Yes, we definitely need to tie up the courts with more of this nonsense. There's your tax dollars going to good use, citizens.
phoenixe

User ID: 7684680
Germany
01/01/2012 09:44 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now!
 Quoting: Pink Taco


first of all: stop ranting. please.

your girls might think you are angry with them, too, even if you keep saying your just angry about their daddy. they might think they´ve done something wrong.

your girls won´t like mommy being angry about daddy, because they love both of you - and they don´t understand why you are angry about him. they don´t want you to be angry at each other.

It´s hard enough for them to have no parents as it should be: mom+dad together living with them. ok?

so if you really love your girls, keep calm.

are your girls happy with the time spent with their father? had they some quality time together? did they eat properly? having fun, playing games and so on?

then: that is all what counts! it´s just 2 days they have with their daddy!


if not: talk with your ex. _calmly_ !!! no rant.

ranting gets you nowhere, but hurts your 2 girls most - in the end.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1466838
United States
01/01/2012 09:44 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now!
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Document everything. In the meantime, teach the nine year old how to take care of herself and her sibling. Watch her brush her hair, brush her teeth and teach her to do this for her sister. A nine year old should be able to do this unless she is just rebellious. You can teach her to bathe the two year old as well or at least sponge her off. Tell them why it is important to keep clean and change their clothes each day even if no one makes them. And send mosquito repellent with them or whatever you think they might need when they visit their dad until you can get the situation under control. Just do the best you can do. BTW, if she won't take care of brushing her hair tell her you will just cut it short. If she wants that then cut it and if she doesn't then she will make sure her hair is brushed. Maybe this is a good time to teach personal responsibility to the oldest since her dad isn't doing anything for them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838


Wow -- you sound as uptight as the OP. I feel sorry for men these days.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291


Is it too much for a dad to make sure his kids are bathed and teeth brushed each day let alone having them change their clothes? It only takes a few minutes to do these things especially when the oldest can do these things for herself.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7827869
United States
01/01/2012 09:46 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Children need the cooperation of both parents for their long term stability. Their needs are as important as yours so it would be wise to not use them as a tool to make yourself feel better about things. It's sad to see children used as pawns in between the war of two adults.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2704006


My ladies have NEVER been tools. I don't need anything from him. He is a part of their lives because I feel it is best for children to have healthy relationships with both parents. There is no battle here. He never wanted custody and I never wanted money. I love my girls and am just trying to do what I can to make them healthy, well adjusted, moral adults.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Yes its all about you and how you feel. The kids are just as much his as they are yours. Why the hell do women act as if its some privilege that they allow the fathers of their children to see them? But hey its not your fault you were born in a society that tolerates such single minded selfish bullshit.
-pathfinder-

User ID: 6740014
United States
01/01/2012 09:47 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Did you ask them if they had a good time?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8085022


Did they have a good time with their dad it a very good question...you have two kids with this guy then complain...good god your kids are lucky to even have their father in their life.

rtyuhbg
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 945308
New Zealand
01/01/2012 09:47 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now!
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Document everything. In the meantime, teach the nine year old how to take care of herself and her sibling. Watch her brush her hair, brush her teeth and teach her to do this for her sister. A nine year old should be able to do this unless she is just rebellious. You can teach her to bathe the two year old as well or at least sponge her off. Tell them why it is important to keep clean and change their clothes each day even if no one makes them. And send mosquito repellent with them or whatever you think they might need when they visit their dad until you can get the situation under control. Just do the best you can do. BTW, if she won't take care of brushing her hair tell her you will just cut it short. If she wants that then cut it and if she doesn't then she will make sure her hair is brushed. Maybe this is a good time to teach personal responsibility to the oldest since her dad isn't doing anything for them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838


Wow -- you sound as uptight as the OP. I feel sorry for men these days.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291


Is it too much for a dad to make sure his kids are bathed and teeth brushed each day let alone having them change their clothes? It only takes a few minutes to do these things especially when the oldest can do these things for herself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838


wtf

Yes what a terrible mother she is she has not taught her 9 year old daughter how to go to the bathroom and clean her own teeth.

Shame on you ... we better sent the police around right away.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1466838
United States
01/01/2012 09:50 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
I would also find out if the girls are having a good time and if they are getting fed enough. If they are then just teach the oldest basic hygiene for her and her sister and let it go. Two days of being grungy really won't hurt them. But I understand the frustration you are feeling about their dad. Just pick your battles and this might not be a good one to go after unless the girls are really being neglected like going hungry.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8096291
Canada
01/01/2012 09:52 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now!
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Document everything. In the meantime, teach the nine year old how to take care of herself and her sibling. Watch her brush her hair, brush her teeth and teach her to do this for her sister. A nine year old should be able to do this unless she is just rebellious. You can teach her to bathe the two year old as well or at least sponge her off. Tell them why it is important to keep clean and change their clothes each day even if no one makes them. And send mosquito repellent with them or whatever you think they might need when they visit their dad until you can get the situation under control. Just do the best you can do. BTW, if she won't take care of brushing her hair tell her you will just cut it short. If she wants that then cut it and if she doesn't then she will make sure her hair is brushed. Maybe this is a good time to teach personal responsibility to the oldest since her dad isn't doing anything for them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838


Wow -- you sound as uptight as the OP. I feel sorry for men these days.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291


Is it too much for a dad to make sure his kids are bathed and teeth brushed each day let alone having them change their clothes? It only takes a few minutes to do these things especially when the oldest can do these things for herself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838


Well, if the eldest child can do these things on her own, why is the father being blamed for them not being done? I sometimes go a few days without taking a shower and I have also been known to wear the same clothes for a few days in a row (OH, THE HORROR!), and from what I can tell the world didn't come to an end and no-one threatened me with a court order to brush my teeth. The mother's outrage is obviously overblown and in direct proportion to how much she detests the husband, likely due to unresolved feelings for him. The anger is misplaced and it's going to work against her, the husband, and the children. She needs to see herself for what she's become. STEP BACK, LADY, AND LOOK HARD -- BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 945308
New Zealand
01/01/2012 09:54 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Well, if the eldest child can do these things on her own, why is the father being blamed for them not being done? I sometimes go a few days without taking a shower and I have also been known to wear the same clothes for a few days in a row (OH, THE HORROR!), and from what I can tell the world didn't come to an end and no-one threatened me with a court order to brush my teeth. The mother's outrage is obviously overblown and in direct proportion to how much she detests the husband, likely due to unresolved feelings for him. The anger is misplaced and it's going to work against her, the husband, and the children. She needs to see herself for what she's become. STEP BACK, LADY, AND LOOK HARD -- BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291


Yip she has become a bitter and twisted angry old fuck!
phoenixe

User ID: 7684680
Germany
01/01/2012 10:00 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
I would also find out if the girls are having a good time and if they are getting fed enough. If they are then just teach the oldest basic hygiene for her and her sister and let it go. Two days of being grungy really won't hurt them. But I understand the frustration you are feeling about their dad. Just pick your battles and this might not be a good one to go after unless the girls are really being neglected like going hungry.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838


^^ exactly what I was talking about some posts before.. hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 888734
Australia
01/01/2012 10:03 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
So OP.



What to do??

There are some polarising comments on this thread.

Thoughts? Objective thoughts.
Upheval
Globe Traveler

User ID: 8040184
Brazil
01/01/2012 10:03 PM

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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
So OP, did they have fun? I am a father on the otherside of the fence. I pay my childsupport and spend as much time with my son as possible. I am not perfect. I might forget to tell him to go brush his teeth or skip a bath day, but if you ask my son if he had fun, I am sure he would tell you yes. To me thats what is important.
Pink Taco (OP)

User ID: 1540959
United States
01/01/2012 10:05 PM

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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...


Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:03 AM
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
-Benjamin Franklin
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8093414
Australia
01/01/2012 10:07 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Say something to your ex about it. Communicate with him!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1466838
United States
01/01/2012 10:08 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
I think OP may have realized she overreacted and has calmed down. Probably seeing a mess of tangled hair sent her over the edge.LOL Just keep the girl's hair short if she can't be bothered with taking care of it. She is probably seeing that a nine year old should have some accountability as well. Lots of nine year old girls have babysat and taken care of younger kids and I am sure hers can too. It is more important at this point that the kids had a good time with dad.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 945308
New Zealand
01/01/2012 10:08 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Sounds like a great dad.

You should just be grateful and shut the hell up before he tells you and them to just fuck off because he can't be fucked with your shit!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8097936
Spain
01/01/2012 10:08 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Bathing children every day is completely unnecessary.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 888734
Australia
01/01/2012 10:09 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


You feel like you do everything and he is not stepping up to the plate, correct?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8098140
Australia
01/01/2012 10:09 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Why do you use that Avatar OP ?
I guess it's not you.
So why?

And you lost me when you started calling your kids ""my ladies"".....

just going overboard a bit aren't you?

Men have no clue, probably shouldn't be looking after a 2 year old anyways..... been there, done that, glad it's over and the kids grew up fine, it's hard going but that's what divorce is - a total mess for everyone.
Pink Taco (OP)

User ID: 1540959
United States
01/01/2012 10:10 PM

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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...


Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:03 AM
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
-Benjamin Franklin
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7788762
United States
01/01/2012 10:11 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
The world is made of Dirt.

Don't be a Germaphobe, uptight bitch.

You sound like a barrel of fun.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1466838
United States
01/01/2012 10:12 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Bathing children every day is completely unnecessary.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8097936


In the winter, I agree. If it was summer and they were dirty and smelly it might be another issue. But then the nine year old can take care of herself and her sister in the bathing department. She could just fill a tub for the both of them and wash off and even brush their teeth while they are in there.
Pink Taco (OP)

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United States
01/01/2012 10:13 PM

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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...


Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:04 AM
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
-Benjamin Franklin
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
01/01/2012 10:13 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
My girls are 4 and 3.

They will clean their teeth without anyone telling them to.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8085226
Australia
01/01/2012 10:13 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
I sometimes go a few days without taking a shower and I have also been known to wear the same clothes for a few days in a row (OH, THE HORROR!), and from what I can tell the world didn't come to an end and no-one threatened me with a court order to brush my teeth.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291


agent MOUNTIES, MOVE IN!!! TIME TO ENFORCE THE "TAKE A BATH AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH ACT" AGAiNST THIS GROTTY CANUCK!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 888734
Australia
01/01/2012 10:15 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


You feel like you do everything and he is not stepping up to the plate, correct?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 888734


Yes. I am so afraid that he just want's the kids to disappear. They need happy interaction with both parents. They ask to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


You and him seperated for reasons. Is he still displaying the characteristics that led to the seperation?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1466838
United States
01/01/2012 10:15 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco



Lots of parents and kids bond over video games. It is what kids do these days. And it is not everyday they are doing this. Just let him do dad things with them. Maybe they will learn about sports with him as well.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 945308
New Zealand
01/01/2012 10:15 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


You feel like you do everything and he is not stepping up to the plate, correct?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 888734


Yes. I am so afraid that he just want's the kids to disappear. They need happy interaction with both parents. They ask to see him.
 Quoting: Pink Taco


Your driving him away you silly cow! ... if the kids lose their dad it will be YOUR fault!

Just shut the hell up already!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6764
United States
01/01/2012 10:16 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
A weekend? When did you take the kids there.. Saturday morning? When did you pick them up.. Sunday afternoon?

So your horror amounts to one skipped bath? You have to be kidding.

I bet you were hell to live with. I hope you lighten up a bit for the "ladies" sake. Thank God, that they have a daddy to have fun with, take a deep breath, smile, and get over yourself.

BTW The person who told you to document this and take him to court, does not have your best interest at heart. The court will question your sanity... has do I.
-pathfinder-

User ID: 6740014
United States
01/01/2012 10:17 PM
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Re: Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father...
Opie good luck with your children, it would be a good idea not to talk bad about their father in front of them...it will end bad for the kids and maybe for you if they choose him over you.


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