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My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8381039
United States
01/07/2012 02:57 AM
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My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
I kid you not.

My dick used to be 10 - 101/2 inches long and that was when I was in college (that's when it hit it's longest length, I guess). I used to measure it from high school on, so I know that my #'s are correct.

Anyway, it stayed that length thru my 20's and I figured: "Great. My dick is OK and at least it ain't ever gonna shrink." But I was wrong. IT IS SHRINKING.

I'm now in my early 30's. I measured it just last night, after a long time of no measuring. It hasn't felt right for months now. So last night? 8.5 to 8.75 inches!!!!!!!! IT'S SHRUNK BY 20% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now what? Is this what I have to look forward to as I age? An inch a year or some such hell?

When I hit 40 years of age will I be down to a 1 " pile driver?????

Oh, please... let 2012 be the end times. I am already embarrassed to let a 20 year old suck it. I'll be totally ashamed when it is a pinky finger!!!!!


BRING ON DOOM!!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517522
United States
01/07/2012 02:59 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
laughthis has to be one of the funniest thread
Amy_A

User ID: 1447484
United States
01/07/2012 03:01 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Did your belly grow? Do you have a soft flabby pelvis area? Those are things that will cause your junk to hide.

Peace.

Lose weight and your problem my be solved.
Amy
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8363875
United Kingdom
01/07/2012 03:03 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Wtf ?

:dudewtfs:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7685892
Australia
01/07/2012 03:14 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Are you married? Marriage will do that to you, especially if you have kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8352578
United States
01/07/2012 03:51 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
I had a seven inch dick with no change in size for over 20 years after maturing, but after 3 years of marriage it looks like a fucking acorn. I hope you are already married, if not, get ready to have an innie.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1517522
United States
01/07/2012 03:52 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
I had a seven inch dick with no change in size for over 20 years after maturing, but after 3 years of marriage it looks like a fucking acorn. I hope you are already married, if not, get ready to have an innie.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8352578
laugh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 787159
United States
01/07/2012 04:00 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Too many hormones in our water and food sources.

Be sure to use it or loose it.

In ancient Japan I remember reading that many elderly aging men would tie a firm string to their penis and anchor it to furniture. They worried their junk would grow shorter with age.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 787159
United States
01/07/2012 04:01 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Forgot to add...the aging Japanese men did that when they would sleep.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7318973
United States
01/07/2012 04:34 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Stay out of the cold water.
Prisoner of Technology

User ID: 2364002
United States
01/07/2012 04:36 AM

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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Use it or lose it.
No one has ever seen a perfect circle, nor a perfectly straight line, yet everyone knows what a circle and a straight line are.
Perceived circles or lines are not exactly circular or straight, and true circles and lines could never be detected since by definition they are sets of infinitely small points.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8389253
Australia
01/07/2012 04:38 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
are you sure your ruler isnt shrinking
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1406613
Australia
01/07/2012 06:33 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Beer/Alcohol/drugs or obesity will do that dead2

Time for you to get healthy before it vanishes altogether
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8391523
Australia
01/07/2012 06:37 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
for every force there is an equal and opposite force.

my dick has gotten bigger over the years, thanks bro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8393120
United Kingdom
01/07/2012 07:07 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Ahhhh, OP.......

You have a case of OLDititus, a condition that affects older guys and it gets a lot worse in later life. Sorry, there is no information as your only the ONE who has ever contracted it and there is no cure.

Possible solutions:

1. Get a pair of tweezers, great in times of need when you need to piss & wank. CAUTION, Only use when your fingers are too big to hold your Penis, Which will be soon with your condition.

2. Get yourself a woman who has a tight vagina, this way you won't feel so small.

3. Get yourself an old wringly shrinking granny, and you just might feel at home. CAUTION, They have been there done that and they are completely battered in that department, if so, revert back to solution 1....

Good luck OP
We're all thinking about you.

People, please pray for this dude, he is basically funked......
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8391190
United States
01/07/2012 07:13 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
I'm almost 50 and my dickie has gradually been getting bigger.
ItsMaKa2

User ID: 1151446
United States
01/07/2012 07:15 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Snug fitting cock ring, best way to go! Ever try one? I like the steel over the rubber ones.

Hey no shame in the game playa!

peace

Last Edited by ItsMaKa2 on 01/07/2012 07:15 AM
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Doomwaffles

User ID: 8390175
Belgium
01/07/2012 07:17 AM

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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
laughthis has to be one of the funniest thread
 Quoting: kevinGLP


seconded
lmao
I am Eekerstard too!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8388705
United States
01/07/2012 07:19 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
I kid you not.

My dick used to be 10 - 101/2 inches long and that was when I was in college (that's when it hit it's longest length, I guess). I used to measure it from high school on, so I know that my #'s are correct.

Anyway, it stayed that length thru my 20's and I figured: "Great. My dick is OK and at least it ain't ever gonna shrink." But I was wrong. IT IS SHRINKING.

I'm now in my early 30's. I measured it just last night, after a long time of no measuring. It hasn't felt right for months now. So last night? 8.5 to 8.75 inches!!!!!!!! IT'S SHRUNK BY 20% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now what? Is this what I have to look forward to as I age? An inch a year or some such hell?

When I hit 40 years of age will I be down to a 1 " pile driver?????

Oh, please... let 2012 be the end times. I am already embarrassed to let a 20 year old suck it. I'll be totally ashamed when it is a pinky finger!!!!!


BRING ON DOOM!!!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8381039




As your arteries slowly clog, your penis will not pump up to it's former glory. Also, once you get over 30, your testosterone starts to decline. The combination of increasing fat, with a lower level of testosterone, will equate to a steadily shrinking wang. especially after 40.

The good news, is that you won't need a big dick in a FEMA camp. But you might need an asshole cork.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7964455
Australia
01/07/2012 07:21 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Your dick shrinks as you get older as your skin gets older.
But not usually when its erect, unless you have a blood flow problem which makes it less full of blood.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7964455
Australia
01/07/2012 07:21 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
As your arteries slowly clog
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8388705

Not everyone's arteries clog dickhead
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8388705
United States
01/07/2012 07:22 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
As your arteries slowly clog
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8388705

Not everyone's arteries clog dickhead
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7964455



Dickhead? from a brain dead Aussie?

Thanks for the complement!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8388705
United States
01/07/2012 07:23 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Your dick shrinks as you get older as your skin gets older.
But not usually when its erect, unless you have a blood flow problem which makes it less full of blood.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7964455


Ahhh yes...

So the shit-fer-brains Aussie admits it.
Atom-Boy

User ID: 7730442
Japan
01/07/2012 07:59 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
must be because of fukushima,
that stuff will kill us all,
a horrible death is awaiting us
and when we arrive in Heaven
and meet the promised 40virgins
all what we ca do is......., ah disgusting!
G.Y.!B.E.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1515364
United States
01/07/2012 08:04 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
For goodness sake, just remember to sit to pee fom now on.
lostandfound

User ID: 8391021
United Kingdom
01/07/2012 08:08 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
my dick has shrunk to the size of a car tire dust cap i kid you not ... there pubes are wrapped round it ...

looks like a fanny ...
just a regular guy who like's to stay regular .....

Turbo lax for fast effective relief ...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7964455
Australia
01/07/2012 08:09 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
As your arteries slowly clog
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8388705

Not everyone's arteries clog dickhead
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7964455



Dickhead? from a brain dead Aussie?

Thanks for the complement!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8388705


Dickhead has the country flag as his only defence....
Sad cunt......
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7964455
Australia
01/07/2012 08:10 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Your dick shrinks as you get older as your skin gets older.
But not usually when its erect, unless you have a blood flow problem which makes it less full of blood.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7964455


Ahhh yes...

So the shit-fer-brains Aussie admits it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8388705


Ahh yes and you know im an Aussie how? Pretend American, can any real American confirm?
AxE-i-DeNt

User ID: 2507375
Canada
01/07/2012 08:18 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
Forgot to add...the aging Japanese men did that when they would sleep.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 787159


Imagine if they got out of bed in a hurry forgetting they're tied!!!
worm man
User ID: 8394596
Australia
01/07/2012 08:23 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
you were lied to,your dick gets smaller,your ears get bigger,women over 50 dont want to shag you,the older you get
worm man
User ID: 8395436
Australia
01/07/2012 08:27 AM
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Re: My Dick is Shrinking... . Seriously.
i am going to bed ,its 12.30 am here in oz on sat morning

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