Recently tried Ayahuasca for the first time, here is my story

Great read, thank you! So easy to forget what a wonderful experience this is we're have together.

What's the cause of your back and neck pain? Akylosing spondylitis?

You need to be invited. My best advice is to start doing some research on Ayahausca and Shamanism in general. Read as much as you can, watch documentaries, etc. Meditate and start visualizing yourself partaking in a ceremony. The grandmother will find you. Good luck.

I had a pretty bad basketball injury which resulted in a hairline fracture in my lower back when I was in high school. Over the years, it's gotten worse, bulged discs, osteoarthritis, poor posture, etc. and it doesn't help that I sit at a computer all day. But I am NOT complaining. I am grateful to be as healthy as I am and am moving in the right direction to fix my issues. Things could be a lot worse.

You could always just do one night which would be 200 bucks. Half up front, half at the time of ceremony. I am sure there are other groups as well with different price structures. Just put your intention out there.

Brother thank you for sharing your experience with the grandmother. Our plant teachers are beautiful gifts. I will share your blog because it is the most comprehensive and honest, humble write up and will be of great aid to seekers.

Thank you for being willing to die the little death, for yourself and for the rest of us.

For those seekers who are sincere, the medicine will find you if you open your heart, if you are willing to do what it takes to get well, for yourself, and for all of us.

For those who take this medicine alone, you have no idea what you are missing. The shaman is not between you and the medicine or your experience, an ayahuascara and curranduro is there to protect you...the songs/music are a vital part of ceremony as grandmother responds and activates with particular tones. She loves the whistling, and the harmonica. I was uncertain about opening up in a group of people..as an experienced medicine person I had concerns that in my state I might be vulnerable to the dark spirits of others. But that is what the curranduro is for, he shelters you from the dark spirits, drives them off so you are safe, and wrapped in the medicine while she does her work. The group actually added to my journeys as we prayed in turn for those who suffered as we realized they suffer for all of us, that we are all one.

You are short changing yourself but not working with a curranduro. Those who seek grandmother to get high...I've talked to drug users who have found healing from addiction with grandmother and the first thing they say is "who would do this for fun?" Grandmother is not fun. It is not a trip, it is a sacred medicine given to us so that we might know ourselves and get well. Trip if you want, drink it alone if you want, but grandmother does not work in that way. I've not read any "trip reports" that come close to the amazing experiences of sincere seekers of that one true thing.

If you go into it with a whatever it takes attitude and are WILLING (as OP was) do dig out your shit and heal, grandmother will give you what you need. You will be transformed.

***Also, few people who go into ceremony holding religious beliefs will come out of ceremony with those belief sets intact. Grandmother deals in truth. I try to caution those who believe and are unwilling to examine those beliefs, that the medicine will shake them up...I've not heard anyone come out of medicine ceremony who went in as sincere seeker, come out still proclaiming Jesus as god, or Mohammad...because grandmother deals in truth. What has been seen, cannot be unseen, and you will not be able to "believe" in fairy tales any longer. So fair warning, if the belief sets mean the world to you, it is best that you not challenge them with grandmother, she will open your eyes...all of them. Aho mitakuye oyasin

Great story

Thank you for the kind word. I agree with everything you said in your post. Please do share the blog ... when I first wrote this I was a little hesitant to share it with others but I realized that it must be shared and that is a small role I can play in helping others maybe find this medicine on their own path.

That shit will mess with your head.

Beautifully written, thank you for sharing so deeply and honestly.

I have no done Ayahuasca, but I have received Shaktipat from a Kundalini Guru, and what you describe is much the same. I think Ayahuasca must be an actual vessel for Kundalini Shakti, the one you call "Grandmother." And you're right, life is split into two parts - before Shaktipat/Grandmother, and after.

She is Reality, Truth and Love, or, as they say in India, Sat-Chit-Ananda.

She is everything and everyone, and in the end you realize She is You.

Well said, brother. I had sent a text message to a dear friend of mine after the first night's ceremony. The message was basically a bunch of exclamation points and smiley faces. She responded with "Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life." And she was right.

Thought I'd share a link to a new documentary "Stepping into the Fire" about the grandmother and now the Shimbre centr in Peru came about! It is visually beautiful and amazingly moving to watch people transform!

[link to freeagemovies.com]

so as not to forget to read later....weird how these things pop up when they do

Great documentary, just watched it the other night. Here's another good one called Jungle Prescription.

[link to vimeo.com]

Thank you very much for sharing that. Quite beautiful. My aya experiences have been less successful.Who arranged the ceremonies? It would be helpful for us to know. The shamans I have been worked with have been much less involved. Basically "Here's the aya. Have fun."

The vine alone does nothing. YOu have to also have the actual DMT containing plant. And no, the plant is not illegal but DMT is.

The artwork on your blog is amazing!