" i dont understand why i have to go through this.im nobody special, i keep to myself here in my neighborhood...it doesnt make any sense why ive had to carry this burden for so long. "

Just try to accept it as a lesson you learn, lesson to love everything unconditionally and to learn dissolving anger with love and understanding.
I guess that at least about 10 percent of all humans were abducted once.
And I think you ARE special, you only forgot about it.

Btw there is a certain technique just to feel anger but not to act it out.