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If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

 
Jasmine
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01/28/2012 03:40 PM
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If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Enjoy!


Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité
1342725

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01/28/2012 03:42 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
stir
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 03:46 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
If you say so. Of course I can pronounce the words, but use them in normal everyday language, probably not.

Not all of them.
Mickeyblue
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01/28/2012 03:49 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Hey Jasmine,

Most excellent. Right on.
arsjaadpoese

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01/28/2012 03:49 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
whateverbsflag
handle
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01/28/2012 03:51 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
What a fun poem! I enjoyed that. And, it shows how screwed up the English language really is.

Thank you. :D
JimBomB

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01/28/2012 03:51 PM

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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
That was fun!
Self delusion can be a grand thing!
MitakuyeOyasin!
TPTB ARE THE MACHINE [link to youtu.be]
[link to youtu.be]
Nonna

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01/28/2012 03:54 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
As an English teacher I think this is brilliant! I am going to show this to my students on Monday. Thanks OP.

Last Edited by Nonna on 01/28/2012 03:54 PM
Jasmine (OP)

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01/28/2012 03:55 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
This poem was sent to me from a friend after we were laughing at how many rules have exceptions in the English language.

Like "I before E except after C. Except in the following words: LOL

beige, cleidoic, codeine, conscience, deify, deity, deign,
dreidel, eider, eight, either, feign, feint, feisty,
foreign, forfeit, freight, gleization, gneiss, greige,
greisen, heifer, heigh-ho, height, heinous, heir, heist,
leitmotiv, neigh, neighbor, neither, peignoir, prescient,
rein, science, seiche, seidel, seine, seismic, seize, sheik,
society, sovereign, surfeit, teiid, veil, vein, weight,
weir, weird

Anyways I posted in fun... how the heck one learns the English language much less speak and spell it correctly is pretty amazing given the amount of exceptions to the rules.

Enjoy!!
Esoteric Morgan
...in awe of many things

User ID: 3539589
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01/28/2012 03:56 PM

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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
That was fun, in a rhythmic kind of way...a whirling dervish of words.



cool2...

Last Edited by Esoteric Morgan on 01/28/2012 03:56 PM
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:01 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
I enjoyed that, and i even found a couple of words i didn't know.
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:04 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
OP,

I'm haing troubl with the frst sentnce...so I gve up.
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:05 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
That one fired up some dusty neurons.
~Una~

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01/28/2012 04:06 PM

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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
that was fun... as a professional vo artist, this was a good exercise for me. Great as a warm up.

Thanks op
This 'reality' is a holographic simulation. It exists only in your mind, but all your senses tell you otherwise. It is a prison controlled and created by the annunaki, but the walls are falling and people are waking. Thread: Hello Gods and Goddesses (Page 140)
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:07 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
bsflagOp got too much time on his hands
derdeder

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01/28/2012 04:08 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
I'm an ESL teacher. I'm going to print this poem. So the next time someone asks me why the kids have a hard time learning English, I'll just have them read the poem.

EXCELLENT!!
V.A.L.I.S.
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01/28/2012 04:11 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
i just had like 9 brain orgasms
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:12 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
That was fun!
 Quoting: JimBomB


Agreed!
Jasmine (OP)

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01/28/2012 04:16 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Glad some are finding it useful tool while others are having fun with it:)
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:17 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
whateverbsflag
 Quoting: arsjaadpoese


...spoken as a true naive knave. :)
MissMe7

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01/28/2012 04:54 PM

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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Very cool
hf
"Peace begins when Expectation Ends"
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:56 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
I enjoyed that, and i even found a couple of words i didn't know.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9581563


Every word? I'd say the figure would be higher than 90%.

I've always considered myself to be well above average in verbal skills. I aced every English course through high school and freshman college & I always did well on standardized tests. My older sister had a masters in English. When I was a kid, she always corrected my grammar and pronunciation. Nevertheless, there are a few that stumped me.
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 04:59 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
OK .. i f.. up on two words:

Melpomene
Hiccough

Never even heard or read them.


The reverse test is way simpler:

Pronounce:

Oachkatzlschwoaf

Pronounce:

Doiadadiunddoiadadiunddoiadadia.


Both words are perfect "lower-german"
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:07 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
hf
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:28 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Hey Jasmine,

Most excellent. Right on.
 Quoting: Mickeyblue 9745215


bumphf
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:32 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

was it just me?
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:35 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
I was always the one in Sunday school who could read the weird Bible names and words without stumbling. A family of wordtards we are, favorite games are Boggle and Scrabble. Although I get bored with the latter - too few letters to choose from. I'd love to have work as a proofreader, but I don't do it for fun to annoy people, like some I know.
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:42 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Im not sure how to pronounce latter.
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:43 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
I was always the one in Sunday school who could read the weird Bible names and words without stumbling. A family of wordtards we are, favorite games are Boggle and Scrabble. Although I get bored with the latter - too few letters to choose from. I'd love to have work as a proofreader, but I don't do it for fun to annoy people, like some I know.
 Quoting: SaintIn


Really speaking, you should end the sentence after ..'wordtards we are' with a period, then start a new sentence.
Anonymous Coward
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01/28/2012 05:45 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
whoever wrote that might as well be god, in my eyes peace
Dr. Anomaly

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01/28/2012 05:45 PM
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Re: If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
That was a lot of fun; thanks for posting it! I think, as someone else said, if you can pronounce every word correctly, you're above more than 90% of the people. There were two that stumped me, and I'm usually regarded as having a very good spoken vocabulary and an even better reading one.

Of course there are issues with words that you can only know how to pronounce them by their context, and in a few cases the needed context came AFTER you were supposed to have pronounced the word.

But still... fun!

dasbier
Three Bribes for the Democrats sneaky and sly,
Seven for the Bankers in their halls of gold,
Nine for Labor Unions sucking us dry,
One for the Liar Chief leaving us cold
In Washington D.C. where politicians lie.

One Bill to rule them all, One Bill to find them,
One Bill to bring them all and in the debt-ness bind them
In Washington D.C. where politicians lie.

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