Official WTF thread: The wierdest conversation ever,,, | |
olag User ID: 1250843 02/06/2012 09:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 7991622 United States 02/06/2012 09:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9990514 United States 02/06/2012 09:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
rosie80 User ID: 10280110 United States 02/06/2012 10:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
TheHandySheriff User ID: 8597527 United States 02/06/2012 10:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 10303690 United States 02/06/2012 11:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1506317 Canada 02/06/2012 11:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9569103 Denmark 02/06/2012 11:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9990514 United States 02/07/2012 12:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9441965 Australia 02/07/2012 03:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I never knew that cheese graters could be sooo coniving, so deperatly selfcentred and just full of spite. I asked him WHY? ya know what he said? Just before I oft him, I HAD to ya know, he said he didnt like purple? PURPLE? Well that did it that did, if he cant tell the difference between purple and mauve by now, well, and whats the deal with colour huh? got a problem have ya? well BAM BAM! BAM! take that MOFO! got a problem now huh? didnt think so... Im not gonna tell you all about "Freda" my old apple corer, its just too emotional for me right now, I mean I used to LOVE her ya know? but well, after all the time weve been togeather, I guess we just grew apart, ya know? we just didnt talk any more. She just became all sullen and depressed, and just sought of sat there by herself, all withdrawn like. I suppose at the time I knew what had to be done, but, well I still miss her, ya know? Its all right now of course Ive got Jenny, Dont mention this out loud, but I spotted this really cute little pair of wooden salad spoons the other day, we stopped for a chat and before you know it, BAM! there we were getting a room for an hour!! I was like OHMYGOD!!! talk about surreal, ya know? I mean if one wasnt enough to satisfy my directions, TWO!, I mean TWO! like twins!! talk about my wildest dreams!! Course it wasnt going to last, I allready knew it from the start so I steeled myself and tried to keep my heart out of it, after all, they were hoe's, Black ones too, not that Ive got any problems with a bit of colour, lord no!, its just my mother, she's a bit, um, "old fashioned" if ya know what I mean.But shhhh! dont tell Jenny, I can tell shes getting pretty attached to me allready, and its only been a week, shes pretty sharp too! we really get along. Course shes really starting to cost me a bit in potatoes, like BAGS of them! Still thats what loves all about isnt it? giving and taking, ya know? I gotta go pet my hired toaster is going off about wages and hours again, fuckesake, I cant understand a single word she's saying, stupid me for hiring from overseas ya know? I should have kept it domestic, but you know how it is with quality these days, oh and man oh man she REALLY knows how to cook toast, I gotta give her that I suppose. Till next week love well talk then, bye....... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 10349142 United States 02/07/2012 05:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 7991622 United States 02/07/2012 06:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 926633 United States 02/07/2012 06:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 10349142 United States 02/07/2012 07:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9441965 Australia 02/07/2012 11:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
WTF User ID: 5263043 United States 02/07/2012 11:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 10358515 Australia 02/07/2012 11:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9845932 United States 02/07/2012 11:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | There is way too much sausage in here for me to focus. I can hear the carrots complaining, they don't like sitting next to the celery because they feel fat, not to mention the steak is crying because I burned it. The oven is screaming for them all to shut the hell up. The dog is walking on the ceiling and refuses to come down. I feel that all this would stop if I had some paint. |
Rockarchy User ID: 4109611 United States 02/07/2012 11:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But what about the penguins? The president suggested to bring forth, not equivocating forthwith but unacknowledged the right to murder your own hand. How could you eat donuts? Last Edited by Rockarchy on 02/08/2012 12:16 AM |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 915681 United States 02/08/2012 01:56 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | z) Contain with 5 parts of twelve one half of an egg, fossilize slowly, add primble juice. y) slowly dissolve entire mixture into any handy amorphous solid x) dance naked under the moon, balancing a toothpick vertically upon your forehead She pleaded with me never to try this, oh how I wish I had taken her advice. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 10006246 United States 02/08/2012 02:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 915681 United States 02/08/2012 02:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I swear it was a full can of coffee, but when we got back from our vacation there was nothing there but bug hulls, a full coffee can of them. I had no choice but to make the coffe from the bug hulls, cosidering the bug hulls were made from the coffee. Any way to make a long story short, no one could tell the difference! Over a trillion gnats and you can't find one that agrees with you? That means something. |
Esoteric Morgan ...in awe of many things User ID: 3539589 United States 02/08/2012 02:54 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Um, excuse me, but, I am the international director of the Counsel for Utensil Rights. It appears that there this thread contains some gross allegations--nay, admissions-- of a variety of very grievous violations against utensils, including: rape; incest; adultery; sex trafficing; physical and emotional abuse, including intent to kill, and, premeditated MURDER. Hopefully, none of your hard drives contain any utensil porn, now that Sally Turkey Baster's Law has been passed. You know, we have zero tolerance for utensil porn...it's a particularly sad, disgusting, depraved hobby, which we intend to eradicate from this planet. I am going to have to seize this thread, and, take all of you in for questioning. Come on now. Line up over there against that wall, single file please. You there. Yes you, what's that in your pocket? Come on, out with it. Officer Johnson, please retrieve that salad spoon from Mr. O. Order! Order! People, are you all mad? You seem to think that is all some kind of joke. Officer Pansy, please seize this thread. -- TRUST THE PLAN -- .......WWG1WGA...... ____________________________ still in awe of many things |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1481651 United States 02/08/2012 02:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 915681 United States 02/08/2012 03:03 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Through decietful manipulation, clever orchestration and spatial disambiguation spatulas displace the elation substituting frustration coupled with blatent antidisestablishmentation. Officer, arrest that spatula! |
Esoteric Morgan ...in awe of many things User ID: 3539589 United States 02/08/2012 03:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's the spatulas. The spatulas have been causing all of the utensil tension utilising tensile tensive tenacious tendencies. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 915681 Through decietful manipulation, clever orchestration and spatial disambiguation spatulas displace the elation substituting frustration coupled with blatent antidisestablishmentation. Officer, arrest that spatula! Oh, there you go, blaming it all on the spatulas. Always the spatula's fault, is it now? Utensil bigot. We'll have none of that now. Are you a shill for the MULA, the Man Utensil Love Association? Got your constabulary in their pockets, have they now. Well, that's a violation of Article 99.75, Section 1, of the Utensil Code Enforcement Act. You're all coming in, too. Hopefully, for your sake, Judge Fryer is not presiding tonight. Last Edited by esotericMorgan on 02/08/2012 03:17 AM -- TRUST THE PLAN -- .......WWG1WGA...... ____________________________ still in awe of many things |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1408355 Australia 02/08/2012 03:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 915681 United States 02/08/2012 12:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
t3h3nd15n34r User ID: 1339442 United States 02/08/2012 12:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 915681 United States 02/08/2012 12:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |