My mom is being fleeced by her boyfriend! What to do???

she is to old to have a boyfriend,put her in a home as an act of kindness

Sounds kinky

She has not probably long to live anymore, if she is happy she probably does not bother about it.

Are you worried about your inheritance more than the late happiness she could have in her last years?

No, I am worried because she took so much money out of our business the bank won't renew our loan. Now I know why so much money is missing. She has not accounted for it, and has been very vague about why she took it.

Try to separate your business money with the one of your grandmother's. Maybe at her age she should not be allowed anymore to use your professional bank account without a second signature.

My uncle did this to his mother, my grandmother.

We found out like you from the bank statements. He took 120k all her money over 3 years.

When we started asking questions he fled the country.

She died 1 year later and he skipped the funeral obviously.

Not much you can do OP.

Just learn for yourself that about 20% of the population at least will and do take advantage of the vulnerable. It's human nature.

So remember this in the future for yourself and If you have another elderly relative or a sister watch out for them more closely in the future too.

Sorry about your situation.

Thanks Canada! I think we are talking around 40,000 so far. Very sad to discover this, no fool like an old fool!

NO its not HUman behavior. HUman does not do that. Man does however. And its repugnant. do something to get this man from getting her money legally. there are laws. Maybe you can be granted legal custodian.

what the difference? man, human? its a person. I doubt you would turn it into a gender issue, as it would be a foolish stance to take. hello, bueller?

I don't know what is sadder, the fact he is doing it or the fact she is allowing it. She has put our family business in peril because of this. You are right Candace it is repugnant!

so funny your mom is being fleeced for cock ....

just kick him to fukcing death one night in an ally ...

She's 81 - she shouldn't have control of finances especially if she's being fleeced. You need to see a lawyer straight away and have a Power of Attorney granted to you to have sole responsibility for yours and her finances. I bet the boyfriend will soon vanish then.

in a home?

I've worked in those... they are nothing more than a early grave. Depressing for ppl.

Move her in with you if that is a problem.

To the money, confront the man. Tell him you are keeping an eye on him and his spending. Tell him that you think it is already out of control and if he doesnt curb it you will take legal action.

You can threaten that your mom is too old to spend her own money. How murders do they plead insane thing..

Also, if talk to your mom about it (show her the spreadsheet). If she is cool with it then there really is much you can do. She is 81 after all.

you always give the best advice... not

It is my business when she takes money from our loan to feed this bastards whims! Her stupidity has put all of us in jeopardy!

straight up best advise, DONT PUSSY OUT. believe me how manly and great you will feel afterwards. however this also could ignite a final plan or escape route from this shady charecter. so move directly to legal action perhaps. it is a tough decision honestly.

It's her choice friend..unless of course you want her money too????

Dude! You need to take controll of this situation befor it gets worse, PRONTO.
I agree with Laila. "Maybe at her age she should not be allowed anymore to use your professional bank account without a second signature."

At age 81 you aren't concerned anymore about money or at least you shouldn't be. My 78 yr. old Mother on the other hand rules her bank accounts with an iron fist and cares too much for money.

Agree with this. And if this doesn't work, get all the men family members/good friends, and have an intervention with the guy. Nobody has to lay a finger on him - he'll take off. This happened to an elderly neighbor widow - the guy started saying some kind of strange things as though he might one day do her in, and the men in the neighborhood came over, packed him up, and told him to leave. He did.

Sometimes people just disappear?

suck his dick

How's those latent homosexual urges working out for you lately?

Faith, thats COOL !!!



O.P. confront the guy , A MANs gotta do whata MANs gotta do !


Bro this is your mother your talkin bout ! NOT bout bux!

your Mas future depends on her money unfortunately .


Common sence ??????????????????????????????????

My dad was in his 80's and ruled his bank accounts with an iron fist also. The money was eventually put to good use, when he entered the nursing home, he had to pay full price because his bank accounts were so healthy! My two brothers maybe visited him twice in those two years before dad died.

That is what men are now days.

You could go to the news stations.

You could go to facebook and post his photo with this information.

(but he'll probably still take out the money)\

You could tell your mother you are going to tell everyone that he is taking all her money out, does she go to a church or does she have a club?

There is really nothing, unless you get a lawyer, who then, can show/prove she is incompetent; that is the trick.

Then, you can get her account protected/blocked.

Hold up a placard which says his name and stand in front of the bank with bank statements proving he is stealing from her account.

? Just ideas from top of my head...it is not slander, they can't get you for that, because you are holding factual proof in your hand.

Can you go to her bank, tell them the problem, and see what they say. If they take the cowardly easy way out, saying they can't do anything, hands tied, etc, you can write an op ed to the paper, telling them they had no suggestions, in effect just stood by watching her being robbed.

that should get their attention.

Can you tell your mother to stop that account, and put one in her and your name, to ensure than he cannot get her money?

Tell her to watch Dateline ID channel, she might wise up, at the same time. Protect her money! Get her to agree with your joint account!

Get a lawyer to draw up a Power of Attorney for both finances and for health care.

If possible, take her to his office to sign it. He will have a witness and an notary nearby.

Do not tell her. Just tell her you are taking her out to lunch. You do not want her telling this man where she is going. You can let her know that she can still have anything she wants and needs but that no one else can use her credit cards or bank accounts.

Then, get all bank statements for at least two years or however long this man has been around. Have your power of attorney paper with you so that all withdrawals and checks must have your signature.

Then, cancel her credit cards so he cannot use them. You can always get her another one once he is out of the picture. Tell her if she wants to charge something, you will get her a prepaid card that you will load a bit of money on to each month so she can buy whatever she wants to.

Go through the bank statements from the time he first appeared in her life. Highlight every questionable check or withdrawal. Do the same for her credit cards.

Take that info to the police and charge him with theft, fraud and elder abuse.

Whatever money your mother has she may well need later.

You could consider moving her into a one bedroom apartment in a senior citizens building nearby.

In any case, you have to take control of her finances and have the man arrested for theft and fraud and elder abuse.

She may not like it, but you need to get her to understand that he was using her.

Good luck. A lawyer will cost you, but well worth the money. Get one who specializes in Elder Law.

Easier said than done in most cases, old people can be very stubborn and would probably resent you for trying that with them. But of course that is your only option, by all means try it if it will save her from a scammer.