Late Night Depression (Poem)

Dear, stop. Its lonely for me too. I have a kid who wishes me dead as i type, a grumpy husband, pains in my legs and i want to see tomorrow- I want to see the Sun rise, i want to see my little grandchildren, tomorrow will be better.

It will be better for you too. We all have our ups and downs but we always have the next "up" to look forward to.

Funny, how humans behave. I actually always feel more comfort at night, and you seem to be the opposite.

Write me back and tell me whats the matter if you want. I will listen to you.

Betcha i can make ya laugh.

Nice job it says it crystal clear I like the poem.

You are where you were put and it is for your own good...
It hurts now but in time it is your way out....by blessings that come in disguise.
So we do not work them in or out but stand looking back through our tunnel saying my God you took me and brought me through..
To only stand here saying it was no one but you...
Confirmation is so sweet because we know we would have never went through it if we had seen it coming we would have run away..The Lord will have you prepared to walk through fire and not even care....you shall not be moved.

Just personal problems/regrets catching up to me and I'm beating myself up over it. Especially because I just recently found out how to "heal" my self and my problems (end of 2011) and it seems like instead of taking the right steps in the right direction I have done the complete opposite and made worse decisions than I was making before. Like you said funny how humans behave, find solutions to my problems and what do I do? Turn and run.

Been more depressed in the last few months then I have in my entire life. I've dropped most of my classes this quarter, don't go out on the weekends as much, just no motivation, and my problems stay bottled inside me as I don't try to bring my pain upon other people. I'm away at school and when my mom calls me and ask how I'm doing I lie and tell her everything's going well and just laugh and joke with her on the phone. Because I know if she knew the truth she would not be able to sleep at night and it would be selfish of me to bring that upon her.

So that brings me to where I am at now ...in the hole I've dug myself. Unfortunately it seems like I dig faster then I climb. If you would of asked me 6 months ago I would of told you I was at rock bottom. If you ask me now I would do almost anything to be where I was 6 months ago.

I like that, thanks!

Nick®

Well,I know how you feel. You dont want to burden your mother so you pretend all is fine.
I will tell you a little story before i go to sleep. I have a brother younger than I. My mother wanted him to go to an Ivy school. So he was extremely lucky to be accepted at Columbia University.
We packed him off and my mother (my dad had passed away suddenly) and i and my husband moved him into Columbia University- set up his room, bla bla bla....

He was there for 2 years...so we thought....(we lived in Massachusetts) He came home for Summer vacations, we would pick him up, move him back, the next year, same thing.

I had left all contact information for my brother at the Deans office, my mother paid out thousands of dollars, and i helped foot the bill too.

During his second year, i happened to call the schools office for something, i cant even remember now, and much to my dismay, i was told my brother was not attending school.
Had not been there all year.

I panicked and got so bad when my husband came home he found me crying and screaming. I could not tell my mother after she had sacrificed so much. To make a long story short, my husband had to tell my mother and you'd think a nuke had gone off- crying screaming, disappointment, wondering why, why, why...

It turns out my brother was having a terrible bout with depression and never left his room. The shock to my mother was horrendous.

I guess i'm trying to tell you that a young person is bound to have episodes like this, and hiding your feelings is worse than coming out flat and telling your mother exactly how you feel. She will be disappointed but she will be understanding. Tell her how you feel ASAP. I've learned its always better to come out with your true feelings, than to pretend, because in the long run, you will inflict more pain on yourself and your loved ones.

I hope my little story helped a little. God bless you and do the right thing.

You sound like a person i'd be happy to call my son/daughter.

Thanks for the kind words and advice...much appreciated.

That story definitely hits home, would hate to inflict more pain on my mom because I held my feelings inside. I guess my line of thinking is that I will make it through these tough times and to her it will seem like I was happy all along. I'm going to do my best to make the right decisions in the future and hopefully before I know it my life will be right on track again.


Thanks again you words are not taking lightly.
God Bless!

Late nights always get me too OP