Given the words you used to describe yourself, I'd guess you aren't very happy about your decisions to date. Ask for God's help. You don't have to be "religious" to believe he exists. Heck, you don't even have to be sure he exists! You can ask for HIS help just in case HE"S out there somewhere! When any of us seek him, he hears and responds. Always!

Then wait a while. Take some time off from sex/men/etc. Do something else besides the drink and party circuit. Volunteer at a elder center, or help take care of kids at a day care place. Fill up your days with something that makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe tone down the dress and make-up. More "Sally Fields" and less "Whore of the Earth" if you know what I mean. Don't paint yourself as always "available" and men will not assume you are! You can choose to send off signals that say "not interested" as well as "come and get it". The choice is yours!

Then see what happens. You may find that you can and will change. How? I don't know. That's up to GOD and you. But if I'm right about you being unhappy with your present course of action, give yourself a chance to find and experience something new.

GOD tells us that when you ask for forgiveness for sins, HE is faithful and just to wash away those sins. He will forgive you in an instant. Then you have to work on forgiving yourself - and sometimes that's harder. But you need to stop this self-judgement and self-accusation stuff. There is a lot more to you than your sexual partners. Whether there's been one or one thousand doesn't matter.

Seriously, try "swearing off" sex for a year. Get in touch with God and see what changes happen. You may be amazed at the results. Many of us have been.