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Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t

 
Juliet
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/25/2012 11:24 PM
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Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
I was 19 when I met him, doing my degree and working as a waitress. I was at work when he came in with a big group of guys on a stag do. I noticed he kept looking at me and smiling so I smiled back. He had the most beautiful eyes and a warm, kind smile. As they were all leaving he asked me if I would be out that night. I told him I couldn't as I was working late but he could come in the next day at work if he really wanted to see me. He said he would but I didn't read into it too much because they were all quite drunk. The next day I had completely forgot all about him but to my surpise he showed up with a friend. I chatted to them for a bit and then he took my number. Within a few hours he text me and we kept in constant touch over phone and text for the next. I realized that I was really starting to like this guy and had to meet him soon(unfortunately he lived 8 hours away from me). He was sweet, kind, funny, intelligent, witty, respectful, focused, had a really good job UNLIKE boys my age. I really could go on about how amazing this guy is. Only bad thing was that he was moving overseas in a few weeks but I really wnated to see him before he went.

So we finally decided to meet half way in this BEAUTIFUL, romantic city and stay the night (seperate rooms) because what would be the point of travelling so much and only seeing each other for a few hours. He arranged everything and was such a gentleman. He told me even before I got there that he didn't want me to feel pressurized so I could go back anytime I felt like and that if i wanted to keep the relatonship strictly platonic he would be ok with it. When I got there I was so nervous but he make so much effort to make me feel at ease. He was so kind and caring, no other guys ever looked after me so much, truly the best date I've been on. I really started enjoying myself with him and really REALLY started to like him. Later on we did kiss, it was so amazing! The next day when it was time to go we were both quite upset as we didn't want our time together to end, but we promised each other we would keep in touch. All I could think about on the way back was how PERFECT this guy was, what an AMAZING time I'd had and how refreshing it was to be with a mature guy ho was a perfect gentelman.

Anyway, he moved due to his job but we still kept in regular touch. We didnt really talk about a relationship as it was obviously too soon and it would be impossible anyway with the distance issue. I then started dating this jerk (my age) who used to treat me like crap. I fell into a deep depression and I guess my way of coping was going out drinking and hooking up with more jerks (not a mature way to deal with things I now realize). All this drama naturally came up with the older guy. At first he was very sweet and supportive ( he even said he'll fly me out to see him) then few months later went a bit funny with me saying he was jealous that I was with other guys and that it bothered him. All this time that we were talking I knew he liked me a lot and I can now understand his frustration with how immature i behaved. I noticed he seemed to lose interest and then it got to the point that contact between us just stopped.

Its been more than a couple of years and we haven't been in touch but I've been thinking a lot about him recently. All I can think of is how PERFECT he was and I really regret the way I handleded things. I just get the feeling that he was put off by my behaviour massively and now hates me. I really want to contact him and towards the end of when we stopped taking I did make the effort once or twice ut he didn't seem too keen, thats why I'm a bit apprehensive.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Should I? Should I not! How should I go about things? Do you think we seem right for each other? Could we ever work out?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11430673
Belgium
02/25/2012 11:28 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Is that you, Juliet?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11446732
United States
02/25/2012 11:31 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
I guess my way of coping was going out drinking and hooking up with more jerks (not a mature way to deal with things I now realize).
 Quoting: Juliet 4009392


Yea, that's like an alcoholic coping with alcoholism by drinking more alcohol, lol.

You women sure are smart!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9422480
02/25/2012 11:37 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
[link to www.youtube.com]

Its fairly typical behavior. He's probably seen it before if he regularly games younger women.
GeekOfTheWeek

User ID: 11223926
United States
02/25/2012 11:38 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
I'm old, wanna come here?
creepy1
I love physics. It bonds us eternally, it's what makes our computers work, it's what's in my morning cup of coffee, it's the thing that keeps the universe from vanishing due to lack of belief...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/25/2012 11:39 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Person from Belguim, yes its me! My name is Juliet, probably not the one you were looking for though sorry!

And person from US. hahahahah!!!! that was a funny comment I have to say, but let me tell you I havent touched alcohol for 2 years! I'm undestructable!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11092469
United States
02/25/2012 11:40 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
He is married.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/25/2012 11:45 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Very true Alex! I wont hide that fact.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1491473
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02/25/2012 11:47 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Women seem to think on the fly anyway. Good luck to you!
aBiNoRmAl

User ID: 6853650
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02/25/2012 11:48 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Why are there 2 threads about this??

Thread: Have I lost my Pisces older guy? I'm Gemini!

pick
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1372987
United States
02/25/2012 11:55 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Why are there 2 threads about this??

Thread: Have I lost my Pisces older guy? I'm Gemini!

pick
 Quoting: aBiNoRmAl


lol, maybe she thinks he reads glp banana2
danwa

User ID: 1522311
United States
02/25/2012 11:56 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
I think you have lost your fucking mind. Besides, if 2 years have passed, you are probably too old for him.

Last Edited by danwa on 02/25/2012 11:56 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/25/2012 11:56 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Yes I hope so Alex!

And Abnormal why do you care?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/25/2012 11:57 PM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Danwa, how mean!!
danwa

User ID: 1522311
United States
02/26/2012 12:00 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Danwa, how mean!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


truth hurts.
Whiterabbit R.O.

User ID: 11449382
United States
02/26/2012 12:01 AM

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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Go for it , NOW before its to late, somethings telling you something from afar! maybe to late now but youll be bothered by this forever until you find out!



If its true hes gone " on" then FORGET and find your other TRUE ONE!



your wasting precious time here hes not here i cant even see him at all , sorry

Last Edited by Whiterabbit R.O. on 02/26/2012 12:01 AM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:02 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Yes I hope so Alex!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


Don't hope.

KNOW that you will meet your Romeo!
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


They all seem it at first! Unfortunately they all turn out to be selfish and immature! I made a mistake, I shouldn't have let him go!
Abs

User ID: 3886217
United States
02/26/2012 12:03 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
He is married.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11092469


or gay
Energy goes where the focus is....where are you putting the focus in your life?
Whiterabbit R.O.

User ID: 11449382
United States
02/26/2012 12:05 AM

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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
When you find someone special you must NOT spread yourself around, turn off the modern bullshit in your mind, the old ways the ways of commitment to ONE is the only way !


In love two become one , you not only hurt your other self but your true self also, hence your confusion!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11430884
United States
02/26/2012 12:07 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
yep, he found somebody younger and hotter. C'est la vie.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:08 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Danwa!! Stop it!! You're evil! hahah!

And whoever it is with the picture with hands. thats GREAT advice! Recently something inside me is telling me that I need to contact him! Intuition perhaps? Its so random how after all these years he's sudeenly been on my mind ALL the time. It must mean something! I'm going crazy! I just know I HAVE to speak to him or see him!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:12 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Abs perhaps YOU are? hahaha!

And whiterabbit you are so wise! wonderful advice. Keep it coming! I need it!
danwa

User ID: 1522311
United States
02/26/2012 12:15 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Danwa!! Stop it!! You're evil! hahah!

And whoever it is with the picture with hands. thats GREAT advice! Recently something inside me is telling me that I need to contact him! Intuition perhaps? Its so random how after all these years he's sudeenly been on my mind ALL the time. It must mean something! I'm going crazy! I just know I HAVE to speak to him or see him!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


Just a little. If you feel like contacting him then just do it. There is nothing wrong with trying to contact someone you care about. You may not ever know unless you do. I hold the belief that if it is meant to be, your paths will cross.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:16 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Alex you are quite right, but I just dont know what to say! I've started writing to him so many time but I just dont know where to start or what to say. I dont want to send him some boring general email, I want it to be special! I want him to KNOW how I feel, without being too obvious!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:19 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Danwa!! Stop it!! You're evil! hahah!

And whoever it is with the picture with hands. thats GREAT advice! Recently something inside me is telling me that I need to contact him! Intuition perhaps? Its so random how after all these years he's sudeenly been on my mind ALL the time. It must mean something! I'm going crazy! I just know I HAVE to speak to him or see him!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


Just a little. If you feel like contacting him then just do it. There is nothing wrong with trying to contact someone you care about. You may not ever know unless you do. I hold the belief that if it is meant to be, your paths will cross.
 Quoting: danwa


Hehe so you're not so evil after all danwa dear! I agree with you! but like i told alex, I dont dont know what to say. Sometimes the person you want to say the most to is the hardest to reach out to!
danwa

User ID: 1522311
United States
02/26/2012 12:22 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Danwa!! Stop it!! You're evil! hahah!

And whoever it is with the picture with hands. thats GREAT advice! Recently something inside me is telling me that I need to contact him! Intuition perhaps? Its so random how after all these years he's sudeenly been on my mind ALL the time. It must mean something! I'm going crazy! I just know I HAVE to speak to him or see him!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


Just a little. If you feel like contacting him then just do it. There is nothing wrong with trying to contact someone you care about. You may not ever know unless you do. I hold the belief that if it is meant to be, your paths will cross.
 Quoting: danwa


Hehe so you're not so evil after all danwa dear! I agree with you! but like i told alex, I dont dont know what to say. Sometimes the person you want to say the most to is the hardest to reach out to!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


I would start with something like, "Hi, how are you doing?", and take it from there.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1702912
United States
02/26/2012 12:23 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Your short time with him sounds very romantic. However, guys and girls think differently and I'm not saying either is right or wrong....

Girls, such as you, think in romantic, fairytale, and storybook sort of ways. You want a man to take care of you and protect you, which this guy sounds like he could have. Men think with their heads (yes, both heads). One is in terms of sex and how attracted they are physically and the other is more on logic. When he found out you were bouncing around with relationships he thought you were either a slut, didn't know yourself, or immature. Now, maybe his perceptions are incorrect and you could contact him and convince him you've grown up, but that will be difficult.

Think from his perspective and don't constantly act on your impulses.
aBiNoRmAl

User ID: 6853650
United States
02/26/2012 12:23 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
angrynut
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:26 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Alex you are quite right, but I just dont know what to say! I've started writing to him so many time but I just dont know where to start or what to say. I dont want to send him some boring general email, I want it to be special! I want him to KNOW how I feel, without being too obvious!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


Don't over think it.

Just do it.

Take a deep breath and listen to what your intuition tells you to write.

Remember it doesn't have to be perfect.

It just has to catch his attention enough for him to respond back.
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Oh Alex I just done wanna make a fool of myself! I already have done and I dont want him to think any less of me than he probably already does. I guess thats the reason I'm in two minds about this! I wish I could just compose the PERFECT email where I could convey all that I feel and at the same time be subtle so I dont embarass myself incase things dont go as planned!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4009392
United Kingdom
02/26/2012 12:35 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Oh Alex I just done wanna make a fool of myself!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4009392


Where do you think the phase "A fool in love" comes from?
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Very true indeed! Ok, I'm gonna be brave and write to him before tommorrow! I'm so nervous but im gonna go for it! hehe
danwa

User ID: 1522311
United States
02/26/2012 12:39 AM
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Re: Have I lost my older guy? I've just realized after three years that I love him! S**t
Horse shit. Pick up the fucking phone (do not email) and call this guy. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. If you go through life asking yourself "what if", you will find yourself old and grey living with 20 cats.

If you want him to know you are sincere and mature, call him and discuss how you feel. You will never know how he feels unless you ask him.

When you connect with someone, really connect, you know it. If this is meant to be, he is expecting the call.

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