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Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11476378
United States
03/09/2012 12:42 PM
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Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Some background: I am 47 and my girlfriend is 46. We are both divorced and have been dating for almost 4 years. She and her daughter (17) moved in to my house almost a year ago. Problem: she, my girlfriend, feels it is ok for her daughters boyfriend (of 5 months) to spend night with her in her room...door closed. I have two girls 13 and 15. They are with me half of any given week. I told my girlfriend it is NO WAY acceptable for them to sleep together when my kids are here. I hate to even allow them to sleep together when my kids are not here, but I have acquiesced because she is my girlfriends daughter and don't want to violate boundaries too much.

I told my gf recently that I don't want them sleeping together at all in my house and she said well maybe we need to move out.

Finally...don't give me the "they are going to have sex no matter" story...it's not about that...its about my "non liberal" view of two young people "shacking" up at my house...playing house.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12200972
United States
03/09/2012 12:44 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
run em out. lay down the rules.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1422753
United States
03/09/2012 12:45 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Just tell tell your friend she at 46 is way too old for her to be sleeping with her daughter's bf. Not to mention its disturbing!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1422753
United States
03/09/2012 12:46 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Some background: I am 47 and my girlfriend is 46. We are both divorced and have been dating for almost 4 years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11476378


Oh and BTW....thats the typical American female now!
cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 889193
United States
03/09/2012 12:48 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
If it were HER house, I would stay out of it. It wouldn't be any of your business. Since it is your house, lay down the rules.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1275429
United States
03/09/2012 12:48 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
get a new gf...she sounds like a very irresponsible person.
snarky74

User ID: 1550152
United States
03/09/2012 12:50 PM

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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
You're a hypocrite.

1) Divorced - failed at being a husband
2) Living with someone - your example is consistent with how these teens are living.

You have no moral ground. Start living right yourself and then worry about others.
Married, kids, etc.
JimBomB

User ID: 11560881
United States
03/09/2012 12:50 PM

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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Noneya business if it not your daughter!
I'd be botherd bye it too. Your request for when your girls are there is fair.
fun102
Self delusion can be a grand thing!
MitakuyeOyasin!
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Sedi

User ID: 1552632
United States
03/09/2012 12:50 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
I was the young boyfriend in this scenario. Single mother with multiple children. I'm not sure how it came to be but eventually i was living with them and sleeping with the daughter. Once their grand parents came to visit for a few weeks, grandpa was furious and had my ass out on the curb first thing. As an adult, I can see why and would in no way condone this. Is this from the want from the divorced mother to have a man in the house? Who knows, but from what you have said, it just might be. I'm pretty amazed she told you that she would move out because of it.

Good luck on whatever you decide OP.
pigshark
User ID: 1518596
United States
03/09/2012 12:51 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Better get your daughters some birth control. Wouldn't you rather know about it, be able to really discuss the situation.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12225823
United States
03/09/2012 12:54 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
kick them all out

if your gf can't honor your wishes now,
she will be worse later.

send them on down the road.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7984224
Canada
03/09/2012 12:54 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
If it were HER house, I would stay out of it. It wouldn't be any of your business. Since it is your house, lay down the rules.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 889193


Yup this! Go figure as to why society is such a mess these days.. Unless you want that TV show 16 and pregnant filming at your house I would definitely be laying down the law... your daughters will be next if you don't!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1389579
United States
03/09/2012 12:55 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
put your foot down man (if you are a man, when i first started reading i was thinking you were a lesbo) and explain the rules of your house. you want your kids to get the wrong idea because of the skank your dating?
BoboTheHobo

User ID: 1599791
United States
03/09/2012 12:55 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she? If your gf is threatening to terminate the relationship over this then you probably should throw the towel in.peace
An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less until eventually they know everything about nothing ~ Anonymous
!!!
User ID: 1310640
United States
03/09/2012 12:59 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
kick them all out

if your gf can't honor your wishes now,
she will be worse later.

send them on down the road.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12225823


true DAT!

This is make or break, if you stand down, you will be run over eventually.
Fuhrer D

User ID: 3916316
United States
03/09/2012 01:25 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
First you aren't setting the best example.

Second, it is your house, your rules. If they don't like it, send them on their way. Where are his parents anyway?
Fighting fatuousness, one AC at a time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12226371
United States
03/09/2012 01:27 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she?
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


gasp
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3025357
United States
03/09/2012 01:30 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
I told my gf recently that I don't want them sleeping together at all in my house and she said well maybe we need to move out.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11476378


That.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1310640
United States
03/09/2012 01:33 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
First you aren't setting the best example.

Second, it is your house, your rules. If they don't like it, send them on their way. Where are his parents anyway?
 Quoting: Fuhrer D


some boy coming into your home to steal a bit of fluff, will on his way out decide to take some of your own stuff.

If you werent worried about steady snatch, would you still be a perfect match?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6630717
Canada
03/09/2012 01:33 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she?
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


+1
closing eyes

User ID: 1530062
United States
03/09/2012 01:34 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Not a good idea to let it happen under your roof. Tell them goodbye, she is to young and seems she is the one in charge.
If you woke up breathing, you have another chance!
John Everytard

User ID: 5027429
United States
03/09/2012 01:36 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
don't let it happen. If they want to have the luxury of living together as a couple then they need to have jobs and be paying for their living arrangements. If your gf has a problem with it, tell her she can geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet oooooooooout!

John Everytard

User ID: 5027429
United States
03/09/2012 01:37 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she?
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


+1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6630717


she can't because she isn't an adult and neither her nor her boyfriend are paying the bills. there's a difference in the situation
Gemini

User ID: 9695216
United States
03/09/2012 01:38 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
OP I agree. It's disrespectful under your roof if you are uncomfortable with it. I, myself, was never allowed such liberties as a teen and I plan to go the same route with my children. It's just not necessary or appropriate.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 8417061
United States
03/09/2012 01:40 PM

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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Do you have an extra bedroom for the baby when your friend's daughter inevitably gets pregnant?

Lay down the ground rules or tell them to hit the road.

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
AxE-i-DeNt

User ID: 10838308
Canada
03/09/2012 01:42 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Bottom line, your house, your rules.
Not happy? She can gtfo.

It's all about values and the extent you are willing to compromise.
Muzzle

User ID: 11552059
United States
03/09/2012 01:45 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Whoever is paying the bills on the house/utilities gets to decide who sleeps there. If the girl-friend and family is paying anything, you're just one vote.
In his book, "Between Two Ages," Brzezinski wrote: "The technetronic era involves the gradual appearance of a more controlled society. Such a society would be dominated by an elite, unrestrained by traditional values."

MuzzleBreak
BoboTheHobo

User ID: 1599791
United States
03/09/2012 01:47 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she?
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


+1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6630717


she can't because she isn't an adult and neither her nor her boyfriend are paying the bills. there's a difference in the situation
 Quoting: John Everytard


As a father I agree it's different, but the daughter doesn't see it as any different. The teenage mind likes to leave out important facts.
An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less until eventually they know everything about nothing ~ Anonymous
AxE-i-DeNt

User ID: 10838308
Canada
03/09/2012 01:53 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she?
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


Hmm, she can, out of HIS fucking house.

He's not the one in the wrong here, he's accepting these strangers in his home, he's f'in 47 what he does is his business and nobody can tell him what passes and what doesn't in HIS home.

It's normal he's worried and if he doesn't do anything, soon his daughters will be following in the footsteps of the other one and oh boy that point, imagine if he said NO to them?!? That would be double standard.

Kick'em the fuck out, this is typical I'm trying to take over your house thing, starts with that ans ends, God knows where, fug-it you don't need that shit. Your daughters are more important.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11425781
France
03/09/2012 01:55 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Some background: I am 47 and my girlfriend is 46. We are both divorced and have been dating for almost 4 years. She and her daughter (17) moved in to my house almost a year ago. Problem: she, my girlfriend, feels it is ok for her daughters boyfriend (of 5 months) to spend night with her in her room...door closed. I have two girls 13 and 15. They are with me half of any given week. I told my girlfriend it is NO WAY acceptable for them to sleep together when my kids are here. I hate to even allow them to sleep together when my kids are not here, but I have acquiesced because she is my girlfriends daughter and don't want to violate boundaries too much.

I told my gf recently that I don't want them sleeping together at all in my house and she said well maybe we need to move out.

Finally...don't give me the "they are going to have sex no matter" story...it's not about that...its about my "non liberal" view of two young people "shacking" up at my house...playing house.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11476378


What's wrong with a girl sleeping with his boyfriend ?
Did you not sleep with your girlfriend at the time ?
You want to be the only one who fucks under "your" roof ?

You probably anal fuck your GF on the kitchen table while watching the "best of youporn" but suddenly you remember your "conservative values" ?

You conservativeTARDS are really makes me wonder, like those priests fucking 9 year old boys while forgiving your sins in the name of god.

You have a problem OP, not the daughter of your GF.

:Chatdanse1:
AxE-i-DeNt

User ID: 10838308
Canada
03/09/2012 01:55 PM
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Re: Girlfriends daughter and her boyfriend sleeping together...need input
Sounds like a monkey see monkey do situation. She sees mom shacking up so why can't she?
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


+1
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6630717


she can't because she isn't an adult and neither her nor her boyfriend are paying the bills. there's a difference in the situation
 Quoting: John Everytard


As a father I agree it's different, but the daughter doesn't see it as any different. The teenage mind likes to leave out important facts.
 Quoting: BoboTheHobo


This is a case of do what I say not what I do, cause I said so... You ain't happy, move out, pay your shit and do wtf you want.

Who cares what she f'in thinks, it's not her house, she pays for shit all, and just going out on a limb here, probably doesn't contribute anything for the household anyway.

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