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Deciding NOT to have children....

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13145018
Mexico
03/25/2012 10:15 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Having a hard time accepting that I probably won't have children.

Some days I think I want to, but I am terrified of giving birth. Also, this world is so messed up...is it fair to bring new life into an existence where day-to-dayn survival is so frickin' hard? I think not. Not to mention kids are so expensive.

But as soon as I finish listing the valid reasons above NOT to have kids, I wonder if I will regret not having an family once I'm on my death bed.

Can life still be happy and fulfilling without having children? Can old age still be secure and enriching without children and grandchildren?

I'm so conflicted.
 Quoting: Conflicted 1457789


All due respect--and I do not mean this offensively: Most of your reasons TO have kids here are about yourself.

Will I regret not having an family once I'm on my death bed.

Can life still be happy and fulfilling without having children?

Can old age still be secure and enriching without children and grandchildren?


You're afraid of regrets, not being happy, not being fulfilled and your old age not being secure and enriching. Do those sound like valid reasons to have a child to you?
Underdog
User ID: 5403109
United States
03/25/2012 10:33 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Initially I didn't put any thought at all into having children. It just happened. Childbirth I discovered was difficult but immensely fulfilling to me. For some people it is just another day of the week. Raising children brings many opportunities for learning that you wouldn't have encountered otherwise. However, it also brings the potential for heartache. That is part of the learning process too I suppose. If I had it to do over again, I would probably choose to have children, but I would put more thought into it, how many, how to raise them, etc. My sister chose not to have children and she is easily as happy as I am. Quite simply, you have a choice and I don't think your viewpoint from your deathbed should be your deciding factor. Children leave you and in the end, you are right back where you started with your own thoughts ideas and beliefs. Besides, we live many lives. If you choose not to be a mother now, there will be other opportunities. Do what is right for you now and be at peace with it. Many blessings and much love to you on your quest.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 975627
United States
03/25/2012 10:51 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
OP, You shouldn't worry so much. It is God who opens and closes the womb. If He has not pre-determined that you will have children, then there's really nothing you can do about it. So be careful assuming that you have a choice either way because you might be setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. Children are a gift of God and the kind of fears you have are not from God but from the one who wants to bring destruction into your life; the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Instead of worrying about things that you have no control over, you should begin trusting God, being with your husband, naturally, as it was intended by God, and trusting God's will, whatever it may be.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 975627
United States
03/25/2012 10:55 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Initially I didn't put any thought at all into having children. It just happened. Childbirth I discovered was difficult but immensely fulfilling to me. For some people it is just another day of the week. Raising children brings many opportunities for learning that you wouldn't have encountered otherwise. However, it also brings the potential for heartache. That is part of the learning process too I suppose. If I had it to do over again, I would probably choose to have children, but I would put more thought into it, how many, how to raise them, etc. My sister chose not to have children and she is easily as happy as I am. Quite simply, you have a choice and I don't think your viewpoint from your deathbed should be your deciding factor. Children leave you and in the end, you are right back where you started with your own thoughts ideas and beliefs. Besides, we live many lives. If you choose not to be a mother now, there will be other opportunities. Do what is right for you now and be at peace with it. Many blessings and much love to you on your quest.
 Quoting: Underdog 5403109


A lie from the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Do not listen to this person. They obviously have no idea that Satan is speaking through them.
Best Site Ever

User ID: 6122615
United States
03/25/2012 10:57 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
You will be lonely when your significant other dies, and you have no one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13208949
United States
03/25/2012 06:16 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
You will be lonely when your significant other dies, and you have no one.
 Quoting: Best Site Ever


Oh real good reason to have children . . . so YOU won't be lonely.

There is NO, absolutely NO guarantee if you have one child, two children, a half dozen children, that you will all be close or that they will give a damn about you when you're old.

Sadly, there seems to be an epidemic of "kids" between 18 and 35 today who are too selfish and insensitive to spend any time with their families and too lazy and uncaring to roll up their sleeves and pitch in to help as a cohesive family unit.

I tend now to believe that the animal kingdom got it right about "birthing" . . . they have their babies, teach them to survive and let them go - end of story.

Humans are needy, greedy, and generally dysfunctional in too many ways to count.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13177486
Portugal
03/25/2012 06:24 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
You will be lonely when your significant other dies, and you have no one.
 Quoting: Best Site Ever


Oh real good reason to have children . . . so YOU won't be lonely.

There is NO, absolutely NO guarantee if you have one child, two children, a half dozen children, that you will all be close or that they will give a damn about you when you're old.

Sadly, there seems to be an epidemic of "kids" between 18 and 35 today who are too selfish and insensitive to spend any time with their families and too lazy and uncaring to roll up their sleeves and pitch in to help as a cohesive family unit.

I tend now to believe that the animal kingdom got it right about "birthing" . . . they have their babies, teach them to survive and let them go - end of story.

Humans are needy, greedy, and generally dysfunctional in too many ways to count.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13208949

op dont be worried, you can have it and will have, at least a basketball team.hf
[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 535854
Lithuania
03/25/2012 06:27 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Some days I think I want to, but I am terrified of giving birth. Also, this world is so messed up...is it fair to bring new life into an existence where day-to-dayn survival is so frickin' hard? I think not. Not to mention kids are so expensive.


 Quoting: Conflicted 1457789



What a lazy spoiled ass modern Westerner.

"where day-to-dayn survival is so frickin' hard"

hahahaha in medieval Europe people would suffer all hardships, wars, famines, plagues, grandee terror, they would live like 30 years old average and two thirds of children would die before reaching 4 years age.

AND THEY WOULD STILL HAVE CHILDREN.



These times ARE MOST BELLYFULL AND EASIEST TO LIVE EVER.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1457789
Canada
03/26/2012 01:27 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
I don't believe that God opens or closes a womb.

I believe in choice. It's pure biology.

That's why it's a decision that I ponder. Granted, some women can't have children. Maybe I am one of them.

But I am the one who decides to take the leap, not God.
nocty

User ID: 3965385
United States
03/26/2012 01:32 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Having a hard time accepting that I probably won't have children.

Some days I think I want to, but I am terrified of giving birth. Also, this world is so messed up...is it fair to bring new life into an existence where day-to-dayn survival is so frickin' hard? I think not. Not to mention kids are so expensive.

But as soon as I finish listing the valid reasons above NOT to have kids, I wonder if I will regret not having an family once I'm on my death bed.

Can life still be happy and fulfilling without having children? Can old age still be secure and enriching without children and grandchildren?

I'm so conflicted.
 Quoting: Conflicted 1457789


yes a life can still be fulfilling without kids but thats kind of a fake life and fake happiness ,how old r u? anything after 33 or so is harder on a woman to have kids,more risks of all the bad stuff u hear about...my gf is 28 just like me and our boy turned one year the other day,there is nothing like it nor would my life have any meaning if we didnt have him.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2849260
United States
03/26/2012 01:42 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Do you believe we're living in the end times?

Matthew 10:21 And brother will hand over brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise up against parents and put them to death.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13376778
Canada
04/08/2012 02:28 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Feeling lonely this Easter....

It's time like this when I think about having a child.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1492076
United States
04/08/2012 02:36 AM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
You will save them from becoming future slaves and crappy world they're going to inherit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13376778
Canada
06/04/2012 07:29 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9079482
United States
06/04/2012 07:51 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
I promise you that for the rest of you're life, you will regret it if you do. I also promise you will remember these words fo all you're life if you do. You have been warned.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13376778
Canada
06/04/2012 10:19 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
I promise you that for the rest of you're life, you will regret it if you do. I also promise you will remember these words fo all you're life if you do. You have been warned.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9079482


I will regret it if i DO have children?

Or i will regret it if I DON'T have children?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33450123
United States
02/01/2013 07:15 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Have children if you like doing the work of Satan.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36365400
United States
03/19/2013 07:37 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Having a hard time accepting that I probably won't have children.

Some days I think I want to, but I am terrified of giving birth. Also, this world is so messed up...is it fair to bring new life into an existence where day-to-dayn survival is so frickin' hard? I think not. Not to mention kids are so expensive.

But as soon as I finish listing the valid reasons above NOT to have kids, I wonder if I will regret not having an family once I'm on my death bed.

Can life still be happy and fulfilling without having children? Can old age still be secure and enriching without children and grandchildren?

I'm so conflicted.
 Quoting: Conflicted 1457789


Think about the child. No need to come into this shit world.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 36524265
United States
03/19/2013 07:39 PM
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Re: Deciding NOT to have children....
Being a breeder is easy. Billions have done it. Join the club if you want to be one of the mindless drones controlled by his/her biology.

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