I'm not a retard but I can't wear watches, even wind up. My body makes them run fast - I'll take out a brand new battery in two months - they are supposed to last for at least 3 years.

I demagnatize credit cards, hotel door keys, and can't keep my cell phone on my body as it causes the battery to get hot.

I can carry enough static charge to send a bolt of light from my finger tip to a metal object a foot away. Thank god that doesn't happen often - it hurts so much it drops me to my knees. I have to be careful of the kinds of shoes I wear and stick to rubber soled as much as possible. Avoid composits.

You just learn to live with it. Except when it gets too dry out and my fricken hair develops a mind of it's own and flys around my head like a halo.