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Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists

 
Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini
User ID: 14204974
United States
04/11/2012 04:01 PM
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Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Prove em wrong, bitches!

Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
By Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini

1. A long time ago some guy named Mohammad wrote a book. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

2. Recently one of my camels was suffering from a severe bout of depression. So I prayed to Allah to cure him but he died two days later. Allah, being all wise and all powerful, must have decided that it was time for my camel to go to paradise. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

3. Mohammad is the most popular boy name in the world.
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist.

5. We Muslims are not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages, because doing so might cause us to loosen up and have fun. Having fun is what evil infidels do! Therefore, Allah truly exists.

6. My cousin Yusef's goat became possessed by an evil jinn (demon). In accordance with sharia law the goat was beheaded. Thankfully the goat no longer suffers from possession. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

7. The United States elected a muslim for president.
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

8. A few months ago a man from my town was trampled to death by his camels. The man must have been wicked because Allah would not allow a good man to die like that. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

9. This towel on my head means I'm special!
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

10. If Allah didn't exist, then us Muslims wouldn't have to threaten to cut off your head for not believing in him. Therefore, Allah truly exists.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3615965
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04/11/2012 04:02 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Prove em wrong, bitches!

Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
By Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini

1. A long time ago some guy named Mohammad wrote a book. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

 Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974


:fmcd:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13294940
United States
04/11/2012 04:51 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
evil is rampant, so satan exists
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11769536
United States
04/11/2012 04:52 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Of course Allah exists, his name is Satan.
Hamza
User ID: 1288297
United Kingdom
04/11/2012 04:53 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Racist!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13297298
United States
04/11/2012 04:54 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
allah is a pig fucker.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14209500
Italy
04/11/2012 05:00 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
allah is small.
Hamza
User ID: 1288297
United Kingdom
04/11/2012 05:32 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
allah is a pig fucker.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13297298


Fuck you racist piece of shit. You go hell.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11769536
United States
04/11/2012 05:33 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
allah is a pig fucker.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13297298


Fuck you racist piece of shit. You go hell.
 Quoting: Hamza 1288297


iamwith
I didnt know Islam was a race.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2152435
Canada
04/11/2012 05:35 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Mohammed had sex with a 9 year old, therefore, Allah exists.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1915461
United States
04/11/2012 05:40 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Couldn't just about all of these (with a few minor modifications) be applied to the Christian god and Christian churches as well? A few examples:

"1. A long time ago, some guys wrote the Bible. Therefore, God exists..."

"2. My family member was feeling depressed. He went to the church to seek spiritual guidance and a few days later he died of an undiagnosed brain tumor. God decided it was his time..."

"6. My sister's boss's best friend's cousin knew a girl who was possessed by a 'demon.' She died from internal bleeding after getting manhandled during a Catholic exorcism. The upside? She isn't possessed anymore, so the exorcism worked."

"10. If God didn't exist, we wouldn't have to lynch gay people, shoot abortion-performing doctors or steal the land right out from under the Indian tribes while claiming divine right. Therefore, God exists."
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/05/2012 05:06 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19189038
Netherlands
07/05/2012 05:21 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Youre going to die with your notall..ah cool.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19189038
Netherlands
07/05/2012 05:23 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Sjeik means piss in your yellow desert.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19189038
Netherlands
07/05/2012 05:29 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
With your twitter friends and car window touchscreen and poo palace with broke people in the rest of your countrys like n koreans.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19189038
Netherlands
07/05/2012 05:33 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Those are not going to dick africa living on a dick
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19178986
United States
07/05/2012 06:13 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Those are not going to dick africa living on a dick
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19189038


Wow! Google translator must really suck.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19189038
Netherlands
07/05/2012 06:21 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Those are not going to dick africa living on a dick
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19189038


Wow! Google translator must really suck.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19178986


From that 2012 movie i mean ... Who wants to live there anyway.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2145552
Canada
07/05/2012 06:24 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Prove em wrong, bitches!

Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
By Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini

1. A long time ago some guy named Mohammad wrote a book. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

2. Recently one of my camels was suffering from a severe bout of depression. So I prayed to Allah to cure him but he died two days later. Allah, being all wise and all powerful, must have decided that it was time for my camel to go to paradise. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

3. Mohammad is the most popular boy name in the world.
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist.

5. We Muslims are not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages, because doing so might cause us to loosen up and have fun. Having fun is what evil infidels do! Therefore, Allah truly exists.

6. My cousin Yusef's goat became possessed by an evil jinn (demon). In accordance with sharia law the goat was beheaded. Thankfully the goat no longer suffers from possession. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

7. The United States elected a muslim for president.
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

8. A few months ago a man from my town was trampled to death by his camels. The man must have been wicked because Allah would not allow a good man to die like that. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

9. This towel on my head means I'm special!
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

10. If Allah didn't exist, then us Muslims wouldn't have to threaten to cut off your head for not believing in him. Therefore, Allah truly exists.
 Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974



Pig dicks smeared all over your face there, Muzzie boy. The pig dicks were on your shoe bottoms and drenched in pig blood.

There is one God: Jesus Christ.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7190830
United States
07/05/2012 08:00 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
if all you theists are so willing to believe in fairy tales written over a 1000 years ago with absolute certainty regardless of the lack of presence of facts, i would like to invite you to join an up-and-coming religion. the best thing about this new religion? it actually has more proof than every religious scripture ever written. it focuses on me, and the many miracles i perform daily. unlike mainstream religions, theres proof im real. many of the things i do every day would be considered a miracle to people of the past, so im pretty much as powerful as religious figures. also, i am very fair and accepting, and do not discriminate based on gender, sexual orientation, or any other personal aspect. also, if you choose not to believe in me, thats your choice. i promise not to send anybody to a lake of fire for all eternity.

the only requirement to become a follower is that you must be EXTREMELY gullible, and favor mysticism over trying to find an understanding to existence.

P.S. If theres something you can't explain in the universe, you can go ahead and just say I did it, or it was my will. with my help, you'll never need an original thought again
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
07/05/2012 08:04 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
allah is a pig fucker.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13297298


Fuck you racist piece of shit. You go hell.
 Quoting: Hamza 1288297


allah is a pig fucker.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13297298


Fuck you racist piece of shit. You go hell.
 Quoting: Hamza 1288297


Dont worry, they will...Whatever Hell is to them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14924620
United Kingdom
07/05/2012 08:06 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist.

 Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974

Wtf why not join in.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19202997
07/05/2012 08:11 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
lol at blatant trollbait
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7190830
United States
07/05/2012 08:11 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist.

 Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974

Wtf why not join in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14924620


sounds pretty bad to beat your wife, when all she was doing was beatin it.
Darkvisuals
User ID: 1575948
Canada
07/05/2012 08:14 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Sorry Gaia or mother earth is the only true goddess we should follow she is the only one that all religions agree on because they all say respect the planet for it is the one giving us life.

CIA 0 Darkvisuals 2

bsflag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18171436
United States
07/05/2012 08:20 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Prove em wrong, bitches!

Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
By Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini

1. A long time ago some guy named Mohammad wrote a book. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

2. Recently one of my camels was suffering from a severe bout of depression. So I prayed to Allah to cure him but he died two days later. Allah, being all wise and all powerful, must have decided that it was time for my camel to go to paradise. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

3. Mohammad is the most popular boy name in the world.
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist.

5. We Muslims are not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages, because doing so might cause us to loosen up and have fun. Having fun is what evil infidels do! Therefore, Allah truly exists.

6. My cousin Yusef's goat became possessed by an evil jinn (demon). In accordance with sharia law the goat was beheaded. Thankfully the goat no longer suffers from possession. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

7. The United States elected a muslim for president.
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

8. A few months ago a man from my town was trampled to death by his camels. The man must have been wicked because Allah would not allow a good man to die like that. Therefore, Allah truly exists.

9. This towel on my head means I'm special!
Therefore, Allah truly exists.

10. If Allah didn't exist, then us Muslims wouldn't have to threaten to cut off your head for not believing in him. Therefore, Allah truly exists.
 Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974


Troll
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18171436
United States
07/05/2012 08:21 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Racist!
 Quoting: Hamza 1288297


Islam is a race now?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19201935
Australia
07/05/2012 08:27 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Of course Allah exists, his name is Satan.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11769536


clappa
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21671152
United States
08/11/2012 04:43 PM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Of course Allah exists, his name is Satan.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11769536


clappa
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19201935


bump
MoeHamHead
User ID: 30698301
United States
12/23/2012 05:58 AM
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Re: Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists
Allah is a piggy.

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