Guys....how do i get my husband to talk to me????

Maybe tell him what your wrote here....

Sandi, really wish you would keep quiet sometimes.

Why, do you want her to be miserable? Al-anon would be a tremendous benefit for her. Most people believe it's a program that teaches you how to 'save' the drinker, but it's actually about helping the non-drinker respond to what's going on in sane ways.

She needs the help that such a program can provide.

Sit him down, tell him why you are not happy. Then tell him if he is happy, and he is doing what he wants....living how he wants, to continue on his path. Tell him you want him to be happy but you won't live unhappy. You can't change someone. You can however change your situation! He will either meet you halfway or you will decide to walk away. You cannot nag him into the man you want to be married too nor should you want to be one of those women. Speaking from experience. I walked away 12 years ago and redemption was him crying on the porch, in the rain, when I was engaged to my current husband of 9 years. I am very very happy.

You want your husband to talk to you? Hit him with divorce papers...he'll start talking. Of course, you won't like what he'll say because it will more than likely be a profanity laced diatribe, but at least he'll be talking. Then leave the jerk and find someone that is interested in what you have to say.

I do want him to be happy doing what he loves to do, but the only thing he wants to do is work, which he does for himself. Its like an obsession.
I don't nag him, i don't, i just keep quiet and keep my distance and just be happy doing what i like to do.
It angers me that i have to spend my time doing everything around here and i don't ask for anything from him at all....absolutely NOTHING.
I have my own money, its rare anymore that he even offers $$ even though i help him from time to time with his business and it annoys me that he takes me for granted is all and has nothing to talk about.
How can you fix anything with someone who won't talk is what i am saying?

Why did you not want to go with him to the hardware store, you should of went im sure in the car ride you would of had a chance to talk and get out and breathe some fresh air, I dont know your reasons not to go but you should of went. What if at the hardware store he sees something for the house or you see something and that could lead to him wanting to do some work around the house. Little things like that can make a big difference its good that he wanted to go with you. Reguarding the issue on having a discussion we as men really dont like to over think things and sadly women tend to over think things alot its normal. If he assiociates having a discussion with an arguement thats not right but its give and take

For all you guys out there who refuse to talk and communicate with your wives, i just want to know what keeps you from doing so? Why is it so hard to just TALK????

My husband will not talk, and i have tried to talk to him and i am through with trying to "be there for him". I just want to put as much distance as i can because i am so frustrated with not having him to talk to.
For starters, we have been married for 5 yrs now.....i do almost everything around here.....no help from him hardly EVERf. We have 10 acres and there is always a ton of work to do around here.
My husband works for himself and doesn't want to do ANYTHING around here. I have told him before, if he doesn't want to do the work, then PAY SOMEONE ELSE to do it but don't just leave this place go to hell.
I do the housework and the outside work such as gardening, yard work etc... and he will not help at all.
I know the guy loves me as a person, not sure if he is even in love with me anymore (altho he says he is, his actions speak otherwise).
I'm tired of being a maid. I get tired of all his friends/family being allowed to store all their junk here so they don't have to pile up their yards with STUFF.

He has to go to happy hour now every nite...this is since his friend moved out back in his RV (and sponges off my husband who can't say no to him) and the friend goes to happy hour every nite and since he has lived here for 3 yrs my husband goes to happy hour every nite too!!!
I said something in the beginning and he stopped going every nite and then by a couple weeks later he had started going again every nite so i just refuse to say anything ever again about it!
I love him and have tried to talk to him but its just no use, nothing changes and so i just try to avoid him and just go about doing my own thing....otherwise i wouldn't be able to keep my anger in check..... so this way i won't be a nag or show my irritation with him.
If anyone can give any insight on how i can change myself or improve the chances on getting him to talk to me, i welcome your replies before this relationship gets any more sour.

You didn't mention your or his age and that does make a difference. Advice is difficult to give without more information and a certain amount of background, however while your husband may be in error he is not necessarily bad. Being married 5 years is a tough time, you are commited to your marriage and wife however the stupid, irresponsible youth still rears it's ugly head. Meaning that you don't want to feel like the teenager at home that had to answer to your parents all the time.

Being a guy, I know, and I also know how stupid and immature it is, but guys still feel that way. I have a great wife of 28 years and to be honest she carried me through times and I carried her through other times. This is the way of people and life. Make sure you do your part and sometimes his to build a secure and happy home and the time will come when he will do his part and yours.

As far as not communicating, well guys are tough, competent, and got it all under control, lol, so we think.

Without my wife and the blessings from God I don't know where I would be.

Don't read more into this then you have good reason too, and when you think you have good reason ignore it and think again.

If he provides for you, keeps you safe and cares for you, you are in a good place. If he acts like an idiot sometimes...... well we can be, ask my wife.

Diakonos

.ya gota suck an fuck yor hubby for 7 to 10 days straight until he is turning purple.......then and only then will u get his attention that there is something 2 b concerned about and that it.really matters 2 u

plus he wont want tolose the string of pipe cleanings that has already started......once u stop after that 'blow' out hell pay attention.

now that should do it

You sound annoying as hell, can you blame him?

The other poster is right. You DO sound annoying. I think your husband and his buddy ought to go all brokeback mountain on each other and cut you out of the picture entirely. Figure ball slapping buttsex has to be better than putting up with you!

I am 50 and he is 65. This is my first marriage, i lived with a couple others but never wanted any commitment.
He has a great heart and is alot like me, or rather the way i used to be.
I have changed alot and i give very easily now whereas before it was my way or no way.
With him i can't be that way...he is too nice. But its the same as being alone when someone shuts you out!
I love being alone,don't get me wrong. I spend alot of time alone and i enjoy it, but i do like to spend time and talk with him, but it seems its one sided.
Thank you for your kind reply!

For all you guys out there who refuse to talk and communicate with your wives, i just want to know what keeps you from doing so? Why is it so hard to just TALK????

My husband will not talk, and i have tried to talk to him and i am through with trying to "be there for him". I just want to put as much distance as i can because i am so frustrated with not having him to talk to.
For starters, we have been married for 5 yrs now.....i do almost everything around here.....no help from him hardly EVERf. We have 10 acres and there is always a ton of work to do around here.
My husband works for himself and doesn't want to do ANYTHING around here. I have told him before, if he doesn't want to do the work, then PAY SOMEONE ELSE to do it but don't just leave this place go to hell.
I do the housework and the outside work such as gardening, yard work etc... and he will not help at all.
I know the guy loves me as a person, not sure if he is even in love with me anymore (altho he says he is, his actions speak otherwise).
I'm tired of being a maid. I get tired of all his friends/family being allowed to store all their junk here so they don't have to pile up their yards with STUFF.

He has to go to happy hour now every nite...this is since his friend moved out back in his RV (and sponges off my husband who can't say no to him) and the friend goes to happy hour every nite and since he has lived here for 3 yrs my husband goes to happy hour every nite too!!!
I said something in the beginning and he stopped going every nite and then by a couple weeks later he had started going again every nite so i just refuse to say anything ever again about it!
I love him and have tried to talk to him but its just no use, nothing changes and so i just try to avoid him and just go about doing my own thing....otherwise i wouldn't be able to keep my anger in check..... so this way i won't be a nag or show my irritation with him.
If anyone can give any insight on how i can change myself or improve the chances on getting him to talk to me, i welcome your replies before this relationship gets any more sour.

If you want to talk about your fEeLiNgS try another woman. To men you are just for breeding and a little fun. Are you taking care of him?

Sounds like he is angry or hurt. Try asking him if there is anything that happened between you two. Did something happen that broke your trust?

I have done that, and things change for a couple days and then back to this same pattern.
This is the reason why i refuse to go with him anywhere anymore. He just came in from work and asked me if i wanted to go with him to pick up some things from the hardware store, so i just say no but very politely.
Thing is, he talks to his friend all the time and they argue and bicker but if he says something to me and i disagree with him, he says that he doesn't want to ARGUE with me.
So that is like saying, if you disagree with me, i don't want to hear it, is it not? But yet he listens to the FRIEND and they disagree alot and i tell him that just cause you disagree doesn't mean its an arguement.
Heck, how can you ever learn from anyone unless you are willing to listen to others points of view?

Last time we talked, and that was only because i talked to his friend and told him that i was thinking about leaving, he came to me and we talked.
I told him most all that was bothering me, and i told him to do the same....just tell me what i do that bothers you because if you don't, i can't do anything about it.
He said that nothing bothers him.....oooookkkkkk!!!!
Come on, we all know its impossible to live with another human and not have them do things that bother us...it may be trivial, but it if its something i do or don't do, i want to know. I can't change what i don't know about.
There hasn't been any trust issues....just all lack of communication.