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The hang out...

 
tiger1

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/08/2012 11:29 PM

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Re: The hang out...
An Aspiring Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become known as a great writer...

When he was asked to define 'great' he said, "I want to write words that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream in angst, cry out in rage, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
 Quoting: Imajicatus


LOL !!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21405710
United States
08/10/2012 05:35 AM
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Re: The hang out...
The Only Man In The World Who Can Swim With A Polar Bear

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21405710
United States
08/10/2012 05:45 AM
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Re: The hang out...
Polar bears and dogs playing

Laura Bow

User ID: 1158661
United States
08/10/2012 09:13 AM
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Re: The hang out...
chuckle
...

"This is a Government Job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
 Quoting: Lyttlmiss


Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
"T-square, do your stuff.
"T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
"Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet...
Ate the cookies...
Drank the milk...
Shit on the paper...
Screwed the other three cats...

Claimed he injured his back while doing so.

Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions...
Put in for Workers Compensation...
and Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave...
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


Sounds more like a true story rather than a joke lol
Laura Bow

User ID: 1158661
United States
08/10/2012 09:17 AM
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Re: The hang out...
The Only Man In The World Who Can Swim With A Polar Bear


 Quoting: Imajicatus


HAHAHAHA I showed this to my kids, one of them said "Is that bear trying to eat him?" SOOOO cute! Makes me want a polar bear now...
tiger1

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/10/2012 11:29 AM

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Re: The hang out...
The Only Man In The World Who Can Swim With A Polar Bear


 Quoting: Imajicatus


HAHAHAHA I showed this to my kids, one of them said "Is that bear trying to eat him?" SOOOO cute! Makes me want a polar bear now...
 Quoting: Laura Bow


The absolutely ultimate guard dog !!! rockon
wisc_natureboy

User ID: 21156133
United States
08/10/2012 11:38 AM

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Re: The hang out...
After a busy day, and just as he was settling down
for a nap on the train, the man sitting near him hauled out his cell phone and started up a conversation:

"Hi darling, it's Tom...
I'm on the train...
Yes, I know it's the 6:30 not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting...
No, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss...
No, darling, you're the only one in my life...
Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart," etc.

This was still going on more than 15 minutes, when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice,

"Hey, Tom, turn off that damn phone and come back to bed!"
.
-
.

We all breathe the same air.
.-.. --- ...- . / .- .-.. .-..
(love/all)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21405710
United States
08/11/2012 05:45 AM
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Re: The hang out...
The Only Man In The World Who Can Swim With A Polar Bear

[link to www.youtube.com]
 Quoting: Imajicatus


HAHAHAHA I showed this to my kids, one of them said "Is that bear trying to eat him?" SOOOO cute! Makes me want a polar bear now...
 Quoting: Laura Bow


The absolutely ultimate guard dog !!! rockon
 Quoting: tiger1



The ultimate Personal Tax Accountant! No I.R.S. agent would be safe and look at all the money one could save...

indy
Laura Bow

User ID: 1158661
United States
08/11/2012 01:19 PM
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The Only Man In The World Who Can Swim With A Polar Bear


 Quoting: Imajicatus


HAHAHAHA I showed this to my kids, one of them said "Is that bear trying to eat him?" SOOOO cute! Makes me want a polar bear now...
 Quoting: Laura Bow


The absolutely ultimate guard dog !!! rockon
 Quoting: tiger1


HAHA, I'd be so worried about that guard dog eating me as well. One of my doggies looks a little like a polar bear, though she's got more cream than white. Here she is:

whiteshep
Dease

User ID: 1505901
United States
08/11/2012 07:15 PM

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Re: The hang out...
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me
to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can
start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why
don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a Government Job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
 Quoting: Lyttlmiss


LOL!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." - Matthew 22: 37-39

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" - Galatians 5: 22-23
SFAV

User ID: 21297164
United States
08/12/2012 05:29 PM

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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
The truth is in your eyes.....

Pull me from the gallows
of this fiber-optic nation
RoXY

User ID: 19973059
Netherlands
08/12/2012 11:25 PM
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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: SFAV


The largest freely available archive of online books about religion, mythology, folklore and the esoteric on the Internet.

[link to sacred-texts.com]

SFAV

User ID: 21297164
United States
08/12/2012 11:28 PM

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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: SFAV


The largest freely available archive of online books about religion, mythology, folklore and the esoteric on the Internet.

[link to sacred-texts.com]

 Quoting: RoXY


hf
The truth is in your eyes.....

Pull me from the gallows
of this fiber-optic nation
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21405710
United States
08/13/2012 03:01 AM
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Re: The hang out...
Maxims of The Internet Age

Home is where you hang your @.

The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

Great groups from little icons grow.

Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

C:\ is the root of all directories.

Don't put all your hypes in one home page.

Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

The modem is the message.

Too many clicks spoil the browse.

The geek shall inherit the earth.

A chat has nine lives.

Don't byte off more than you can view.

Fax is stranger than fiction.

What boots up must come down.

Windows will never cease.

In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).

Virtual reality is its own reward.

Modulation in all things.

A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

There's no place like [link to www.home.com]

Know what to expect before you connect.

Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice to believe.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks, months and maybe even years...
RoXY

User ID: 19973059
Netherlands
08/13/2012 03:04 AM
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Re: The hang out...
New Thread: COOLIO !!! BATMAN - DARK KNIGHTFALL # (Animation Video)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21405710
United States
08/13/2012 04:01 AM
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Re: The hang out...
^^^ Cheeky Bat-Girl ^^^

That was strangely brilliant and interesting to watch, yet now I just might have to finally seek psychiatric assistance or take up drinking... neither option will be cheap!
SFAV

User ID: 14695767
United States
08/13/2012 12:02 PM

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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: SFAV


Deleted :(
The truth is in your eyes.....

Pull me from the gallows
of this fiber-optic nation
RoXY

User ID: 19973059
Netherlands
08/13/2012 12:21 PM
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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: SFAV


Deleted :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Why?
SFAV

User ID: 14695767
United States
08/13/2012 12:24 PM

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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: SFAV


Deleted :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Why?
 Quoting: RoXY


Copyright :(
The truth is in your eyes.....

Pull me from the gallows
of this fiber-optic nation
tiger1

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/13/2012 12:32 PM

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Re: The hang out...
The Only Man In The World Who Can Swim With A Polar Bear


 Quoting: Imajicatus


HAHAHAHA I showed this to my kids, one of them said "Is that bear trying to eat him?" SOOOO cute! Makes me want a polar bear now...
 Quoting: Laura Bow


The absolutely ultimate guard dog !!! rockon
 Quoting: tiger1


HAHA, I'd be so worried about that guard dog eating me as well. One of my doggies looks a little like a polar bear, though she's got more cream than white. Here she is:

whiteshep
 Quoting: Laura Bow


Sweet puppy !!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21405710
United States
08/13/2012 05:19 PM
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Re: The hang out...
Hey guys I need your help. If you have any links etc. for rare and sacred books whether they are religious or scientific please post them in here.Thanks!

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: SFAV


Deleted :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Why?
 Quoting: RoXY


Copyright :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Schiss! Not good to read about SFAV, with a starting few posted links... is there a specific reference to which is in violation??? It would of been an Epic Thread.

verysad
Laura Bow

User ID: 1158661
United States
08/14/2012 08:40 AM
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Re: The hang out...
...


HAHAHAHA I showed this to my kids, one of them said "Is that bear trying to eat him?" SOOOO cute! Makes me want a polar bear now...
 Quoting: Laura Bow


The absolutely ultimate guard dog !!! rockon
 Quoting: tiger1


HAHA, I'd be so worried about that guard dog eating me as well. One of my doggies looks a little like a polar bear, though she's got more cream than white. Here she is:

whiteshep
 Quoting: Laura Bow


Sweet puppy !!!
 Quoting: tiger1


Aww, thank you! She is a sweetie, probably the closest thing I'll ever have to a polar bear HAHA. Here's another really cute bear video:



[link to www.youtube.com]
Laura Bow

User ID: 1158661
United States
08/14/2012 08:41 AM
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Re: The hang out...
...


Deleted :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Why?
 Quoting: RoXY


Copyright :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Schiss! Not good to read about SFAV, with a starting few posted links... is there a specific reference to which is in violation??? It would of been an Epic Thread.

verysad
 Quoting: Imajicatus


I can't see why they would have pulled it just for links being posted, maybe someone pasted excerpts from a book?
SFAV

User ID: 14695767
United States
08/14/2012 12:03 PM

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Re: The hang out...
...


Why?
 Quoting: RoXY


Copyright :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Schiss! Not good to read about SFAV, with a starting few posted links... is there a specific reference to which is in violation??? It would of been an Epic Thread.

verysad
 Quoting: Imajicatus


I can't see why they would have pulled it just for links being posted, maybe someone pasted excerpts from a book?
 Quoting: Laura Bow


I'm not really sure what it was. All I posted was the links but I respect the MODS here and SPUD gave me an explanation for copyrighted material. It's a shame because it had rekindered my flame to research. I was hoping there was a specific thing I could change as I agree the thread would have been EPIC. Thnks to Chrit,Gonviral, and Balthu for the PM in concern. And your right Chrit they could have gave me a red thumb for it. I would have replied to all of you but I do not have an upgraded account. I have 35 karma so someday I will be able to get a full upgrade so I can PM LOL. Anyway thank you to all who contributed it was much appreciated hf
The truth is in your eyes.....

Pull me from the gallows
of this fiber-optic nation
SFAV

User ID: 14695767
United States
08/14/2012 12:03 PM

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Re: The hang out...
...


Deleted :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Why?
 Quoting: RoXY


Copyright :(
 Quoting: SFAV


Schiss! Not good to read about SFAV, with a starting few posted links... is there a specific reference to which is in violation??? It would of been an Epic Thread.

verysad
 Quoting: Imajicatus


hf
The truth is in your eyes.....

Pull me from the gallows
of this fiber-optic nation
Psych

User ID: 903456
Netherlands
08/14/2012 02:25 PM

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Re: The hang out...
Oke, I had to post this although I am sure you will think I have lost my mind. lOl

The first time I watched it I was like what the f*** is this. But it is actually pretty hilarious and damn catchy, and soon I found myself hitting the repeat button over and over again. lOl

In one month it reached almost 30M hits on YouTube.



And the making of:
RoXY

User ID: 19973059
Netherlands
08/14/2012 07:03 PM
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Re: The hang out...
I'm not really sure what it was. All I posted was the links but I respect the MODS here and SPUD gave me an explanation for copyrighted material. It's a shame because it had rekindered my flame to research. I was hoping there was a specific thing I could change as I agree the thread would have been EPIC. Thnks to Chrit,Gonviral, and Balthu for the PM in concern. And your right Chrit they could have gave me a red thumb for it. I would have replied to all of you but I do not have an upgraded account. I have 35 karma so someday I will be able to get a full upgrade so I can PM LOL. Anyway thank you to all who contributed it was much appreciated hf
 Quoting: SFAV


I have a Trial Upgrade & can't PM either.

Shame...
RoXY

User ID: 19973059
Netherlands
08/14/2012 07:20 PM
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Re: The hang out...
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Where “WWW” means “Wretched Writers Welcome”

Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.

The winner of the 2012 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Cathy Bryant of Manchester, England.


"As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting."
— Cathy Bryant, Manchester, England

Much more here: [link to www.bulwer-lytton.com]
Lyttlmiss (OP)

User ID: 16463130
United States
08/14/2012 08:08 PM
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Re: The hang out...
I am sorry.... I feel like I have been neglecting my own thread :( ....

Been busy trying to find a job. And it isnt going to well So spending my time doing that instead of here. But I do check in and read even if I dont post so dont think I am gone.
Laura Bow

User ID: 1158661
United States
08/14/2012 09:39 PM
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Re: The hang out...
Oke, I had to post this although I am sure you will think I have lost my mind. lOl

The first time I watched it I was like what the f*** is this. But it is actually pretty hilarious and damn catchy, and soon I found myself hitting the repeat button over and over again. lOl

In one month it reached almost 30M hits on YouTube.



And the making of:

 Quoting: Psych


WOW! Oh man, thank you for posting that, it made my night, that was AWESOME! lol Um...my terrob;e ears kept hearing it as "open condom style" though!! tomato Here's a vid I really like:



[link to youtu.be]

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