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why most relationships are doomed?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4618337
United States
04/30/2012 03:59 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Many good points here, but a Biblical perspective is needed. First and foremost there is no such thing as falling in love. There is lust yes as a motivation for couples to come together, but that is biologically programmed to fail after about 6 months.

The Bible commands husbands to love their wives. What? How can that be, how can you have control over that amorphous feeling, 'love'. How can you be commanded to love?

Love is actually an action that is consciously chosen. You either choose to love someone or not. You choose to love God and obey his commands or not. You choose to love your spouse and enjoy a long lasting healthy relationship, or you do what everyone else does, divorce and flee when things get uncomfortable.

That is why marriage is covenant before God and men. It's a faith promise, whose vows are all too conveniently broken. Even christians view God the same way they view Santa Claus, as a feel good fairy tale, with no real cause and effect on their lives. Thus clearly breaking a solemn vow before God is no big deal right.......

Now you see? Choose to love.
 Quoting: SevenThunders

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE DONT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For fucks sake, is this a christian forum?stfu
 Quoting: Bebu 15147051


Then why do Christian men cheat and watch porn?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7254491
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04/30/2012 04:02 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Then why do Christian men cheat and watch porn?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4618337


Calling oneself a Christian doesn't make them one, just as calling yourself enlightened would not make it so.
Anonymous Coward
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04/30/2012 04:04 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE DONT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For fucks sake, is this a christian forum?
 Quoting: Bebu 15147051


Jesus came into a fallen world to save sinners. Because he spoke the truth, and the truth hurts, man crucified him.


The same thing happens today where lost souls reel when the truth of His Word is preached to them.


Jesus came to save you, not condemn you.
chastity FTW
User ID: 13159627
United States
04/30/2012 04:06 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Because a


F
U
C
K
I
N
G

Relationship with an orifice undermines a relationship with a person
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15321549
United States
04/30/2012 04:11 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
It's not because of sex...

It's because people don't do the self work BEFORE engaging in something as complex as sex WITH another person.
 Quoting: ArunaLuna


Sex is not complex.

Life is not complex.

Humans are not complex.

Idiots make things complex by over-analyzing things.
 Quoting: AnalComplex


Sex, Life, Humans, Idiots... Are not complex...


Really?


com·plex/kämˈpleks/
Adjective:
Consisting of many different and connected parts.
Noun:
A group of similar buildings or facilities on the same site: "a new apartment complex".
Verb:
Make (an atom or compound) form a complex with another.
Synonyms:
adjective. complicated - intricate - composite - compound - involved

verb. complicate


Human Idiots > Sex > Life > Human Idiots.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5091730
United States
04/30/2012 10:05 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15317699
United States
04/30/2012 10:08 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
It's not because of sex...

It's because people don't do the self work BEFORE engaging in something as complex as sex WITH another person.
 Quoting: ArunaLuna


Sex is not complex.

Life is not complex.

Humans are not complex.

Idiots make things complex by over-analyzing things.
 Quoting: Scuba7


Exactly.

dasbier
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15305269


Idiots don't over analyze things.
Idiots let their genitals make decisions for them that result in consequesnces they are not in ANY WAY prepared to deal with.
 Quoting: ArunaLuna


Yes we do! Some of us are idiots when it comes to human interaction and am guilty.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 8417061
United States
04/30/2012 10:36 PM

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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
IMO.....

Because in the modern day, all our relationships revolve around sex.

We're quick to jump into bed with a beautiful stranger and quickly call it a relationship, and cock/cunt-struck, think that they are the One. Then, as they get on, they realise that they clash, their personalities are vastly different and the other person is an asshole. Added to the body changes that come with age, the lack of friendship means it falls to pieces and they just see their other half as "the fat wife" or "slobby husband",

In truth, i firmly believe that a relationship is based around a deep friendship and respect for the other person, and that deep genuine love for each other means that cheating isn't even on the cards. Why would you want to fuck over your best friend?
Yes, sexuality is an important factor but there are many people in the world that count as a potential when it comes to sex.

So take your time with love - find that person that you can talk shit till the wee hours, that genuinely makes you feel good about you as a whole. Don't get too serious too quick and learn about them before you offer your heart out.

Just my opinion though - all the anti-man and anti-woman threads were actually kinda upsetting, so hopefully this will help a few people. Have a think about it :)
 Quoting: shpongleyes


Spot on... Over-identification with the ego and too much preoccupation with the physical & material. How many so called marriages ended because one of the partners stopped wanting or enjoying sex? Sex isn't love, it's physical gratification based on survival instincts - just like consuming good.

Also, marriages hinder personal relationships and connections/communication outside of the marriage, so that can eat away at people's psychological well-being as well, and add stress and strain.

Good thread OP, you get it.

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7560287
Canada
04/30/2012 10:39 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
A psychiatrist explained it recently, it went something like this....

If you are doing the dating (online or otherwise) scene, you are meeting so many people, so quickly, that if you both happen upon that one person who matches 85% of your requirements - you both should be running to the altar. But alas we don't, we stop and think that the next person we are about to meet will give us that 90-95% match.

Yes, most relationships are doomed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5091730
United States
05/01/2012 01:23 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
I been asking me this question lately too...

Today's relationships are very rarely based on the love of the other but rather what can the other do for me. This because very evident when one of them is dealing with an illness, the other tends to leave.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
05/01/2012 01:34 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
It's all about RESPECT. For yourself and for your partner....DEEP, abiding respect.

If you have it, everything else falls smoothly and sweetly into place.

If you lose respect, it's over.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
05/01/2012 01:48 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Romantic attraction is a mental disease. We need to get back to understanding that main purpose of marriage and sex is the perpetuation of the species.

Look for a good person with whom you are on the same page with. If bells and whistles go off (the "chemsitry" thing), then that's an added bonus....but it shouldn't be the be all and end all.
+Jason+
User ID: 6457323
United States
05/01/2012 01:51 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Its not down to womens rights, its down to sex being the first factor on a persons mind when they meet. They don't KNOW each other. How many old couples do you know that started as a one nighter? Back then, when sex was still something to blush about, couples would meet up for a while, talk, get to know each other and long for the next time they saw each other, instead of seeing the other as a commodity.

Don't get me wrong, i think sex is something that is a persons own choice to do, but it's personal morality issues and without sounding like a killjoy, the media has pushed it in our faces so far that its became a MUST when you meet someone. People just aren't interested in having a deep bond anymore and it goes for both sexes.
 Quoting: shpongleyes


You are correct.

And I add this:

Sex is a distraction, it is destructive in many ways, and carries too much baggage. Everything changes in a relationship once sex enters the picture, and anyone who denies that is a fool.

Humans have a physical, instinctual "need" for sex - BUT that need can be controlled. It's very simple, but most people do not want to control it or refuse to try.

Humans are programmed to be "in love", to be in a relationship, to be with someone, anyone, just for the sake of not being alone. And that is absurd.

They are also programmed to get married, to procreate, to give their parents grandchildren . . . in other words, to do as others do.

Why be a sheeple?

Be an individual, this is a message I've been trying to impart to others, after years of experiences and wisdom gained.

There is NO SUCH THING as being "in love" - that's just an empty term created by those who want to believe in the fairytale of loving and being loved and happily ever after.

I believe that humans can care about other humans, there can be genuine care and concern, but I don't think humans are capable of truly loving each other because there are too many negative dynamics at play. Selfishness, greed, apathy, past history, emotional hang-ups, stress, so many emotions that prevent true love from being part of the equation.

But most people have not come to that realization, and many never will. Instead, they spend their lives in mentally and emotionally and physically depleting relationships, searching for something that simply DOES NOT EXIST.

And I find it amazing that in 2012, there is still so much sexual abandon, so many girls feel the sum of their entire worth is based on their sexuality and willingness to be sexually involved, and that so many people have zero self-respect.

I DO think humans can love animals, nature, and the self. And the reason that kind of love works is because it involves a key element: respect. When one feels sincere respect and love for the earth's creatures, for the majesty and power of nature, and for all the qualities of their own being - they will be a fulfilled person.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2365096


hfafropeace
smokahontas

User ID: 15358180
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05/01/2012 01:53 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Several reasons.... too easy to get out of one, we live seperate lives..I know so many married couples who split the bills ,have their own accounts, own friends, own hobbies. Lack of communication. Monogamy is HARD! Self centerd, laziness. The grass is always greener and we are fickle and want instant gratification. Too much time watching T.V. instead of being together. Too busy working to buy shit you dont need!
"I may not agree with what you say, but I would defend to the death your right to say it." Voltaire

"Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 819998
United States
05/01/2012 01:54 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Yes we do! Some of us are idiots when it comes to human interaction and am guilty.
 Quoting: Everyday is Friday


Might be best then if you don't partake in activities that lead to breeding if that's the case.

chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1964622
Australia
05/01/2012 01:56 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
men don't need to worry of course, because it's women who have the babies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13752205


haha... - gotta bite on this one...
- it is WOMEN who chose to kill their own babies...
NOT MEN!!!!
IF a MAN chose to kill the baby in the woman's womb, he would be charged with manslaughter or murder....

OF COURSE IT IS ALL ABOUT MONEY FOR WOMEN!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 819998
United States
05/01/2012 02:02 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Isn't that the whole point of a structured society?

To protect the child baring woman...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15365990
United States
05/01/2012 02:39 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
Isn't that the whole point of a structured society?

To protect the child baring woman...
 Quoting: ArunaLuna


Firstly it is to emphasize the necessity of money in every aspect of life, and therefore absolute obedience to it. Once the illusion that money is of paramount importance has taken hold, all else becomes puppetry.

Women are generally willing to become tools of money, and what passes for men these days are willing to become subservient to women.

Genitals have become a system of valuation, and children the insurance policy. All else is secondary or in mind of bringing everything into the system.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
05/01/2012 03:21 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
So as long as a societal structure like the one we currently have (revolving around money and it's importance) we're going to have fucked up relationships because in essence a third unnatural entity (money) has been introduced into it as a means of control.

In my line of work I see people every day who are the worst of that example. Introducing children into an already unstable home life that can't support the children they're already responsible for and then unleashing emotional outcry over how the "system" is failing THEM!

Makes me go scratching
WuDStefoto

User ID: 15186261
Belgium
05/01/2012 03:38 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
""why most relationships are doomed? ""

that depends of the people

if they are not so materialistic - nothing is doomed

the bad thing is to try exist here BOTH ..

that's what's the doom ^^
These dayz through THA REAL RAP (element of hip-hop)
-> (THERE iS NO REAL RAP ON TV or RADiOs) <-
is the only way youths listen to
the Prophets !!!


PROOF -> CAN YOU CATCH iT???

[link to www.youtube.com]

rememba: FEAR iS THA MiND-KiLLAH

LiGHT = iNFORMATiON ;D

peace2daUNIVERSE
Anonymous Coward
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05/01/2012 03:48 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
So as long as a societal structure like the one we currently have (revolving around money and it's importance) we're going to have fucked up relationships because in essence a third unnatural entity (money) has been introduced into it as a means of control.

In my line of work I see people every day who are the worst of that example. Introducing children into an already unstable home life that can't support the children they're already responsible for and then unleashing emotional outcry over how the "system" is failing THEM!

Makes me go scratching
 Quoting: ArunaLuna



You tell 'em Moneta!



[link to www.youtube.com]



I hate when my own system tries to prey on me. It's supposed to prey on everyone else, otherwise it's not my system and it should have stayed the fuck away. Guess I'll have to lead by example.

Oklahoma just killed the Personhood Act. Would have granted the rights of a citizen to a fetus. Now I don't usually get involved in this sort of political issue, but when the same governmental types that allow abortion under the concept that the fetus is part of a woman's body then turn around and say that it cannot have the same citizen's rights that the woman has... Well that's just inexplicable.

Can't have it both ways. Either women have citizen's rights, or something has to be done about the legislators. I decided women should have citizens rights along with "their" bodies and concluded that the State government should be aborted.

Wouldn't want them to be an accessory to murder. Even if it is a capital crime.
shpongleyes (OP)

User ID: 29493855
United Kingdom
12/09/2012 08:23 PM
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Re: why most relationships are doomed?
""why most relationships are doomed? ""

that depends of the people

if they are not so materialistic - nothing is doomed

the bad thing is to try exist here BOTH ..

that's what's the doom ^^
 Quoting: WuDStefoto


I agree with this completely. Too many women see a man as a cash cow and too many men just want a trophy to prove their masculinity, whereas they are losing out on one of the most beautiful things they could experience, real, unconditional love.
happiness and pleasure are two very different beasts of the same pelt

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