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BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.

 
ExpertOfSound
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User ID: 1779676
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05/01/2012 11:09 PM
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BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
"Last week, tensions in the bowels of Expertofsound on the colon border and Strait of Anuse have caused bean prices to spike across the nation. Now, it has been revealed that president Fartlot Obama is in on the action, and has been profiting off of the bean prices the entire time, by stockpiling them beforehand.

The president spoke earlier this week, with this statement:
"Now, I know the senior citizens are not happy about this, ok, they need to eat their beans or they will end up having to chug prune juice or face severe cramps and constipation, ok, and since my wife has problems in that area I know how they must feel, ok."

Among many complaints, there have been reports of "loud, almost thunder like" rumbling across the Canadian border.

Here is one spectator's report:
"It sounds kinda like a Harley Davidson, and it smells worse than the time that BP screwed up the gulf."

Fartlot Obama has claimed that "it is all Expertofsound's fault, he ate too many beans and we had to make them illegal because we can't have bottom blasters that could potentially cause structural damage to buildings, ok."

I am Christina Fartman, the ASSociated Press.

Last Edited by ExpertOfSound on 05/01/2012 11:14 PM
GREAT minds talk about IDEAS
AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS
SMALL minds talk about PEOPLE

Racism is a crime against humanity.

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” ~Frederick Seitz

There are MORE water molecules in 1 glass of tap water than there are glasses of tap water in EVERY OCEAN ON EARTH.

Thread: THE TRUTH about the "Ancient Astronaut Theory" and Ancient Aliens TV Show AGENDA!
Anonymous Coward
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05/01/2012 11:18 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
BREAKING: wind.
ExpertOfSound (OP)

User ID: 1779676
United States
05/01/2012 11:18 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
BREAKING: wind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1025379


LOL! good one!
GREAT minds talk about IDEAS
AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS
SMALL minds talk about PEOPLE

Racism is a crime against humanity.

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” ~Frederick Seitz

There are MORE water molecules in 1 glass of tap water than there are glasses of tap water in EVERY OCEAN ON EARTH.

Thread: THE TRUTH about the "Ancient Astronaut Theory" and Ancient Aliens TV Show AGENDA!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13800852
United States
05/01/2012 11:31 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
abombFarting ki
Anonymous Coward
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05/01/2012 11:32 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
pheEWWW!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 967614
United States
05/01/2012 11:48 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
BREAKING: wind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1025379


This is what you get when half the world is "preparing" by stocking up on beans 'n' rice.

Armageddon is gonna be stinky.
ExpertOfSound (OP)

User ID: 1779676
United States
05/02/2012 12:15 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
BREAKING: wind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1025379


This is what you get when half the world is "preparing" by stocking up on beans 'n' rice.

Armageddon is gonna be stinky.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 967614


hiding
GREAT minds talk about IDEAS
AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS
SMALL minds talk about PEOPLE

Racism is a crime against humanity.

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” ~Frederick Seitz

There are MORE water molecules in 1 glass of tap water than there are glasses of tap water in EVERY OCEAN ON EARTH.

Thread: THE TRUTH about the "Ancient Astronaut Theory" and Ancient Aliens TV Show AGENDA!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12087471
United States
05/02/2012 12:46 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
This thread STINKS.

I need some real BEANS OF DOOM..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15419622
Canada
05/02/2012 12:52 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
try the "Extra Strength Beano for Anal Mushroom Clouds"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15419622
Canada
05/02/2012 12:54 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
farty like it's 1999 dude!
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
05/02/2012 03:59 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
I just ate goats cheese pumpkin seeds and cherry tomato for dinner. The smells have been ghastly.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11843942
United Kingdom
05/02/2012 05:51 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
drink nine pints of guinness and then eat a large kebab, next morning you can fear no other man in farting
Anonymous Coward
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05/02/2012 05:55 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
BREAKING: wind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1025379


LOL! good one!
 Quoting: ExpertOfSound


WTF.. are ya 12 or 13 yrs old? birthday
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
05/02/2012 05:59 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
farting will ALWAYS be funny
ExpertOfSound (OP)

User ID: 1779676
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05/02/2012 08:17 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
BREAKING: wind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1025379


LOL! good one!
 Quoting: ExpertOfSound


WTF.. are ya 12 or 13 yrs old? birthday
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14929070


I am 20, but I like being immature every few minutes.
GREAT minds talk about IDEAS
AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS
SMALL minds talk about PEOPLE

Racism is a crime against humanity.

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” ~Frederick Seitz

There are MORE water molecules in 1 glass of tap water than there are glasses of tap water in EVERY OCEAN ON EARTH.

Thread: THE TRUTH about the "Ancient Astronaut Theory" and Ancient Aliens TV Show AGENDA!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15442996
Germany
05/02/2012 08:21 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
I always knew that Nifartu exists. Repent!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11843942
United Kingdom
05/03/2012 09:38 AM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
beans will do that
ExpertOfSound (OP)

User ID: 1779676
United States
05/05/2012 12:35 AM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
farting will ALWAYS be funny
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11843942


I agree.

I also have no idea at all why it is so funny, it honestly shouldn't be...
GREAT minds talk about IDEAS
AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS
SMALL minds talk about PEOPLE

Racism is a crime against humanity.

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” ~Frederick Seitz

There are MORE water molecules in 1 glass of tap water than there are glasses of tap water in EVERY OCEAN ON EARTH.

Thread: THE TRUTH about the "Ancient Astronaut Theory" and Ancient Aliens TV Show AGENDA!
ExpertOfSound (OP)

User ID: 1779676
United States
07/18/2012 10:06 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
bump
GREAT minds talk about IDEAS
AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS
SMALL minds talk about PEOPLE

Racism is a crime against humanity.

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” ~Frederick Seitz

There are MORE water molecules in 1 glass of tap water than there are glasses of tap water in EVERY OCEAN ON EARTH.

Thread: THE TRUTH about the "Ancient Astronaut Theory" and Ancient Aliens TV Show AGENDA!
AR 15-SPECIALIST
ADMIT IT.....WERE FUCKED!!!

User ID: 8796927
United States
07/18/2012 10:08 PM

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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
Popcorn and Raisen Bran give me the toot toots.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11843942
United Kingdom
07/19/2012 03:03 PM
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Re: BREAKING: My farts have gone nuclear - first plate of beans consumed.
thats an interesting mix there. i havent tried that.

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