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The Illuminati Was Dreamed Up by a 20th Century Paranoid Anti-Semite

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05/03/2012 01:16 PM
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The Illuminati Was Dreamed Up by a 20th Century Paranoid Anti-Semite
The Legend:

When you woke up this morning and had your breakfast cereal, it's only because the Illuminati decided to let you live another day. It's the Chuck Norris of conspiracies -- an all-powerful, all-encompassing shadowy entity that runs everything and has leverage everywhere. Their ultimate goal is something called the New World Order, which is basically a planet-scale re-enactment of 1984

The organization is said to be led by the queen of England (so that's what a queen does), and lists of known members include pretty much everyone of influence who isn't her. This flowchart should clear things up for you ...

The Ridiculous Origin:

Nesta Webster was a 1920s British historian, writer, propagandist and Nazi sympathizer who had a less-than-secret vendetta against jewish people. If you're unfamiliar with the Roaring '20s, you might be wondering how such a person could gain influence in pre-WWII Britain. If you've read The Sun Also Rises, or a biography of Henry Ford, you know that anti-Semitism was up there with stupid-looking pants and the Charleston in terms of things rich white people lost their goddamned minds over.

Webster was married to a superintendent of the British police, which rendered her pretty much untouchable, and she was even tight with Winston Churchill a few decades before he came to his goddamn senses. While Webster wasn't the only crazy anti-Semite working at the time, she used an ability to weave far-reaching conspiracies and a willingness to have sex with powerful men to become hugely influential. And then she got really crazy.

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