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Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15691681
United States
05/10/2012 12:58 AM
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Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
2012..blah..blah..blah..Alien disclosure...blah blah blah....Dark cabal...blah...blah..blah..Ascension..blah..blah..blah...High​er vibrations...blah..blah..blah...love...blah...blah..blah...li​ghtworkers...blah...blah..blah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15697899
Canada
05/10/2012 12:59 AM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
Power over the insanity.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15819970
Australia
05/10/2012 01:03 AM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
2012..blah..blah..blah..Alien disclosure...blah blah blah....Dark cabal...blah...blah..blah..Ascension..blah..blah..blah...High​er vibrations...blah..blah..blah...love...blah...blah..blah...li​ghtworkers...blah...blah..blah
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15691681


You need to work on it.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15691681
United States
05/10/2012 01:07 AM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
2012..blah..blah..blah..Alien disclosure...blah blah blah....Dark cabal...blah...blah..blah..Ascension..blah..blah..blah...High​er vibrations...blah..blah..blah...love...blah...blah..blah...li​ghtworkers...blah...blah..blah
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15691681


You need to work on it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15819970


What should I do?
Add more fuzzy wuzzyness and talk about how everyone in the world will join hands with the Pleadians and pink bunny''s and sing kumbaya while the bankers are taken off to prison in the background?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15819970
Australia
05/10/2012 01:13 AM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
What should I do?
Add more fuzzy wuzzyness and talk about how everyone in the world will join hands with the Pleadians and pink bunny''s and sing kumbaya while the bankers are taken off to prison in the background?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15691681


Regroup and workshop.
humanitech
User ID: 15801493
United Kingdom
05/10/2012 10:28 AM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
2012..blah..blah..blah..Alien disclosure...blah blah blah....Dark cabal...blah...blah..blah..Ascension..blah..blah..blah...High​er vibrations...blah..blah..blah...love...blah...blah..blah...li​ghtworkers...blah...blah..blah
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15691681


Pretty close....Now all you need to do create a website and hierarchal orders system and institution (which naturally you will be head honcho) and make half prediction and make sure people have to pay for the full BS..and you'd be the real bonified deal LOL.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28232375
United States
04/06/2013 02:16 PM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
You forgot a couple of key elements.

Firstly, you must have "secret knowledge" that is made available to them in small, expensive increments. Be sure to give them new "titles" or badges for each level they pay for, with commensurate status perks like sitting closer to you or going on "free" weekend retreats with you.

Secondly, you must create in them the belief that they need to change due to the imperfection of their current state. This is the easy part of your new job.

Thirdly, you should include a class of "worker bees" for your organization so that social stratification and competition for your attention can ensue, and the wealthy contributors will have someone to look down upon.

And lastly, tell them that they need to buy a large tract of pristine land and build you a palatial residence so that you can continue to bless them in a more pure environment where you will all live together in enlightened bliss, (if they donate enough).

Also, you don't radiate nearly enough arrogance and hubris. Just sayin'.
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 21057428
United States
04/06/2013 02:17 PM

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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
2012..blah..blah..blah..Alien disclosure...blah blah blah....Dark cabal...blah...blah..blah..Ascension..blah..blah..blah...High​er vibrations...blah..blah..blah...love...blah...blah..blah...li​ghtworkers...blah...blah..blah
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15691681


You're overqualified.

afro
Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For? Do you have questions about God or need someone to talk to? Email me at Lisalovesjesus7@gmail.com

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34272879
United States
04/06/2013 02:17 PM
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Re: Do I have what it takes to be a new age guru?
your skull must be at least 3/4 the size of david wilcock's

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