OMG, this is terrible news. I've planned every around the world ending in 2012 (i.e. finances, health, promises, etc.).

Damn it, this is unacceptable. Something needs to be done about this. There's got to be a way around this discovery.

Think people, help me out here, because at the end of the year I'll be broke, I'll need new teeth and a triple by-pass, and there will be 5 women expecting to marry me in April 2013. Help, I need doom or I'm screwed!