why young men never want to marry ? read this

from the spearhead

Eh, as a guy in my late 20s I say thanks but no thanks.

Marriage is and has always been and always will be a form of retirement or resource exchange for women.

Our entire society is set up to divert resources from men to women in many ways. In the past, and in some societies today, there was a social contract where men got something in return. Not so today.

If anything we should be advising young men to expat or simply learn game and use women on their own terms.

It really isn’t difficult to get laid today, especially compared to historical standards.

If anything the real problem for us younger guys is that we are lost in the words without a map and compass. We weren ‘t taught how to read the stars (navigate women and relationships) and even if we do have a map or compass, it turns out it is for a different set of woods and the compass is broken.

The hardest part is that we really don’t have a way to conceptualize what being a adult man is or what masculinity is or how to seduce women(unless you learn game or learned through trial and error like me).

We are simply lost.

I remember as a kid, in the 80s and 90s, being confused when I heard older people complain about the lack of good male role models. Today I completely get it. I grew up in a completely feminized environment and the few role models (maps/compass) I have had lead off a cliff and not to water or happiness.

There really is no other choice than to go your own way, making it for yourself first and foremost, because traditional options simply aren’t options anymore.

I hate to sound like a broken record on this point but you older guys just don’t get it. I know that there are some blind younger guys but most of us get it.

We are the divorce generation. The next generation, whatever comes after millenials/Gen Y, will be the Single Mother By Choice(SMBC) generation.

As a member of the divorce generation I didn’t have to have it happen to me, though my family is unique I did suffer in basically the same way.

It simply happened to all of my friends, most actually, and it was plain as day.

Basically the boomers fooled around sexualy but, according to the data I have seen (don’t have links at the moment), more than 90% married their second or third sex partner.

The women of the 60s and 70s were no where near as slutty as the girls I went to HS with.

The women of the boomer generation got married, put on their shoulder padded pant suits and acted like men. They had children in the 80s.

They went from fighting the man in the 60s to being the she-man with children in the 80s. They convinced their husbands to do 60% or more of the housework and “parenting” (they destroyed the fatherhood of the patriarchy…in all its meanings) and they watched their attraction to their beta husbands shrivel like a exposed cock in antarctica.

They then cheated on their husbands or banged their bosses or became abusive monsters or simply wanted to “find themselves again” in a Eat, Pray, Fuck type of ego driven fantasy.

So by the late 80s and early 90s women divorced their husbands, they took the kids and “parentally” alienated them against their “fathers”(err co-parents).

They got the house and alimony and child support. Many lied to their kids about it, many of my friends and gfs felt betrayed when they found reciepts in kitcken and bedroom drawers while looking for field trip papers that weren’t signed.

These same “heroic” women used their children as emotional tampons and relational foundations talking about everything from their current boyfriends to their horrible ex-co-parents to their loneliness.

They got these same kids to lie about their fathers. They made them choose between parents and grandparents, but it wasn’t a choice with the emotional sword of democles. Some of these mothers trotted their kids to psychologists, others to supervised meetings with social workers and judges. Many simple medicated away their childhood because it was interfering with her and her journey to find herself again.

These boys and girls were friends of mine. Female friends and gfs and bros and their stories were all the same. They got a few hours every other weekend with their dad(err..co-parent). Many never got to see them again.

Most learned early on not to talk about this around female teachers and grown ups because they didn’t like to hear about it. So we kept it to ourselves. My bros and I would only talk about these things while drinking, usually without any girls around, or doing drugs together.

I will never forget one friend of mine who never met his father. In HS, at about 16, he snorted a line of crushed up hydros and said this, during a conversation about parents and fathers and what not:

“Dude, it’s like my soul has a cancerous tumor or something. The more I realize that he wasn’t there and I don’t know who I am the more it grows.”

One common refrain I heard from friends, and uttered myself as a latchkey kid, was this: “I live in a house, not a home.”

No offense, but the people I grew up with lived this. I was in elementary school when I first had conversations about only seeing my dad for a few hours on the weekend and a few friends said they only saw their dad once a month and two friends opined how they had never met their dad.

I don’t want to sound like a dick but this isn’t helpful to me, though I am sure it is helpful to some men so please preach the word.

I just want you and other over 30 men to understand that there was a huge shift that happened between the people who were coming of age, born in the 70s, in the 80s and early 90s and those who were born in the 80s and came of age in the 00s.

It isn’t just the women being slutty. It isn’t just the number counts of non-sluts, in my peer group you really need 20 or more to even be a slut. It isn’t just the fact that I have no fucking clue what people talk about when they mention the phrase “family dinner”….I mean, wtf is that? I never had family dinners. I didn’t even have breakfast, unless I got to school early enough.

It isn’t just about grrl power or feminized schools. One big thing it is about is role modeling for the youth. Girls hate their fathers and project that anger onto their male friends and boyfriends. They watch their mothers talk shit about the man they married, the man who is their co-parent, and they do the same in HS and college.

The cock-carousel that younger Gen Y women are on didn’t appear out of a vacuum. It is what the boomer mothers were modeling in their own homes while “finding themselves” after the divorce.

NOW, giving advice to younger men, preferably middle school aged, is all good and what not (by college age I think you are way to late to be honest) and we should do it but they are by and large already getting this advice from music and media. Find me a college educated man who doesn’t know the word “gold digger”, as a example.

What we really need is a viable path modeled for us that will help us create and sustain relationships with good women, that will help us better screen for sluts and evil women, that will help us to financially set up our lives to decrease our burdens and expand our freedoms, and most importantly is simply a way out of the wilderness.

Disclaimer: I really don’t want to offend. I apologize if I have. It just seems to me that we keep beating the same dead horse with respect to younger men. All of the stuff I wrote above and so, so, so, SOOOO, much more I experienced years before I even knew that the MRM or fathers rights movements or even PUA/Game existed.

It really just seems like the older guys just don’t get it. Go and look at young men. Feminists are pulling their hair out because we are the first generation to be raised with implemented feminist teaching and social engineering from cradle to grave and we are the most misogynistic group of young men to inhabit America since its founding.

Go read any feminist post about gaming culture, or hip hop, or online commenting, or frat bros, or etc. etc. etc.

They get that men have rejected their utopian society and they don’t know what to do about it other than complain or in really lame attempts try to co-opt and colonize the growing manosphere. See, Hooking up Smart or No Seriously What About Teh Mez, or the Good Men Project or all their posts on Game and Nice Guyss and so on and so on.

Here in the more experienced part of the manosphere, what do we get?

The same beating of a dead horse…. (again I don’t want to offend)…..and we are told what not to do instead of what to do.

As a example, lets look at Uncle Elmers advice. I love your posts man but you are wrong about one thing, so no disrespect. He says that young men should simply learn how to dance.

I think this can be powerful advice. I remember being at a bar with some of my friends and there was this one guy who was traditional dancing with a young woman, doing some sort of salsa type waltz. Some guys remarked that he was gay. I pointed out that every woman in the bar was watching them and they looked envious. This wasn’t so much about dancing, IMO, as it was about social proof and social dominance.

The semester before I knew a couple guys who signed up for the dance class. It was 2 hours of guaranteed A simply for showing up for the required number of classes so it could help pad a GPA.

I even went to two of the classes just to check it out. There were about 28 women in the class and six guys, seven when I showed up.

There weren’t enough guys and gals to pair up so the girls took turns taking the lead and following. Even in such a environment the girls simply would not allow a man to lead them. It was amazing, thinking back on it. They wanted so badly to be led but when it came their time to pair up with one of the men they resisted it every fucking step of the way. One of my friends even told me that on the first day one of the girls proclaimed something to the affect of, “I am a independent empowered woman, I won’t stand by this misogyny of being put in my place…why can’t we both lead.”

I had actually forgotten about that until my bro brought it up a few weeks ago when we went out to dinner. This was before I was in the MRM.

Simply telling men to learn to dance, or to use it as a analogy for my problems with this trend, or dance through the system isn’t going to work. You can drop the dance class or put up with it but you can’t change the attitudes of those girls. Same with the attitudes of government and courts and so on.

Pointing out problems is good and I am grateful for the MRM and those who do so, I am sure it helps some men who are lost or signed up for dance class thinking they would get a gf cause of the gender imbalance (none of them did get a gf) but for those of us who know about these problems, I think the majority of men in the divorce generation but I don’t have stats, simply telling us to dance through misandric hoops and the system really doesn’t help.

To me it seems like the difference between jumping out of a airplane without a parachute and jumping out of a airplane with a broken parachute. Either way it is a long way down and neither option sounds good.
I do plan on writing some posts that will be a bit more practical in the near future, especially with respect to determining the slutiness of a potential gf or fiancee.

Ok. I have ranted for long enough. Again I do apologize if I offended. I am sure there is a audience that needs this advice but I and too many other men need something else and we really don’t even know what it is or how to achieve it cause we have never seen it modeled before.