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I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...

 
Louie
User ID: 1674166
Germany
05/17/2012 11:34 PM
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I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12081019
United States
05/17/2012 11:34 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
Dude, face the facts, you are NOT straight.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15691169
United States
05/17/2012 11:34 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
Sure you're straight? afro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15294461
Australia
05/17/2012 11:37 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
You're a pole sitter, a stick muncher, a hole reamer a cigar smoker you lying fag.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4227306
United States
05/17/2012 11:38 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
You're a pole sitter, a stick muncher, a hole reamer a cigar smoker you lying fag.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15294461


lol.lol.lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1372987
United States
05/17/2012 11:38 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
you could invite your girlfriend in to join you abduct
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1404507
United States
05/17/2012 11:39 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
You won't rub the lotion on the skin cuz you want to get the "hose"....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16231667
Australia
05/17/2012 11:39 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


Scrump, that you?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16168934
United States
05/17/2012 11:42 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


Adam Sandler has a song for you and it's about taking a shower and ramming the shampoo bottle in his tapeworm garage.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15763837
Canada
05/17/2012 11:52 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
not only are you in de-bath OP but you are in de-nial too
natasha77

User ID: 2849470
United States
05/17/2012 11:54 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


I think you're a man, a HE-MAN in touch with your femenine side.
You just have to go to your nearest pharmacy and buy Neutrogena Bath Oil with Sesame.....ohyeah you will never forget the experience.

Also, Elton John songs are perfect while soaking in the tub. My favorites. I do love "Nikita"...where he is presumably singing to a girl behind the iron curtain...so romantic!!! But all his songs are great!!!

Try that oil and you will thank me!!!!!

*wink*
SPEAK UP. SILENCE IS DEADLY!

I am currently experiencing life at several WTFs per hour.

:flatearth:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10644407
United States
05/17/2012 11:56 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
The manly way to take a warm bath:

The sound of death metal blasting as you rev a chainsaw in the bathtub?


How the fuck else are you gonna take a relaxing bath, bitches?

The OP isn't gay (unless he is and trolling), he just likes chillaxin' and shit.
mk ultra
User ID: 1523189
United States
05/17/2012 11:57 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


make sure you have a warming rack for your towels and a plush bath robe to slide into after that hot bath.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16231667
Australia
05/17/2012 11:59 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


I think you're a man, a HE-MAN in touch with your femenine side.
You just have to go to your nearest pharmacy and buy Neutrogena Bath Oil with Sesame.....ohyeah you will never forget the experience.

Also, Elton John songs are perfect while soaking in the tub. My favorites. I do love "Nikita"...where he is presumably singing to a girl behind the iron curtain...so romantic!!! But all his songs are great!!!

Try that oil and you will thank me!!!!!

*wink*
 Quoting: natasha77


stfu you fag hag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1082682
United States
05/17/2012 11:59 PM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
It doesn't matter how you bathe or what music you listen to. All that matters is this: Do you want a dick in your mouth? Yes or no? Answer that question first. Everything else is beyond that is trivial.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16241432
United States
05/18/2012 12:02 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15198446
United States
05/18/2012 12:09 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


I'm straight and I would do the same. Women do this stuff because they know a good thing. I like lavender scented candles. They have battery operated pillows that give you a neck massage and they are made for the bath and waterproof. Those are very nice to lay back and put a warm wash cloth over your eyes and get a massage while the music is playing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10644407
United States
05/18/2012 12:11 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


I'm straight and I would do the same. Women do this stuff because they know a good thing. I like lavender scented candles. They have battery operated pillows that give you a neck massage and they are made for the bath and waterproof. Those are very nice to lay back and put a warm wash cloth over your eyes and get a massage while the music is playing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15198446


If more dudes knew how to relax and quit being so uptight about their anuses and other people's anal fetishes they'd be a lot calmer... and healthier.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16231667
Australia
05/18/2012 12:11 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
real men don't sit in candle lit room, soaking in a scented bath rubbing lotion into their skin.

ffs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1237846
United States
05/18/2012 12:11 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I was taking a bath the other day and my wife came in and joined me...

ohyeahohyeahohyeahohyeah
Wolfen /v\

User ID: 16246308
United States
05/18/2012 12:12 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
do the ice creams draw in the bugs
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10644407
United States
05/18/2012 12:12 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
real men don't sit in candle lit room, soaking in a scented bath rubbing lotion into their skin.

ffs
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16231667



[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16241432
United States
05/18/2012 12:13 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16231667
Australia
05/18/2012 12:14 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
real men don't sit in candle lit room, soaking in a scented bath rubbing lotion into their skin.

ffs
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16231667



[link to www.youtube.com]
 Quoting: Charlie the Choo-Choo


give me a fucking break.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15916759
United States
05/18/2012 12:19 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166



Hell, I'm a woman and I don't do that stuff.


5a
NightWisp

User ID: 942369
United States
05/18/2012 12:23 AM

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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
TMI

oops2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10644407
United States
05/18/2012 12:24 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
real men don't sit in candle lit room, soaking in a scented bath rubbing lotion into their skin.

ffs
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16231667



[link to www.youtube.com]
 Quoting: Charlie the Choo-Choo


give me a fucking break.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16231667


Do you have a problem with Captain Stottlemeyer from Monk?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27418524
Canada
09/30/2013 07:47 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


your a fago you know

mean while oh elty like butthurt9
Goddess of the sea 1

User ID: 23555885
United States
09/30/2013 07:51 AM

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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


Yeah. You are Gay dude!
Goddess of the sea 1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30620110
Canada
09/30/2013 07:52 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I dim the bathroom lights, turn on some hot Elton John and George Michaels music, light candles and eat chocolate covered cheeries. Any suggestions o how I can further better my relaxation experience...?
 Quoting: Louie 1674166


your a fago you know

mean while oh elty like butthurt9
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27418524

what i really meant to say

lotion5
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35386241
United States
09/30/2013 08:18 AM
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Re: I am a straight male, I soak myself in bath oils, and rub nice creams on myself while listening to Elton John...
I wouldn't do the bath oil, it causes the butt hairs to plaster to your balls.

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