sex

What did he say?

reconsider the relationship -- he sounds like a jerk

Started off by saying it could be his poor performance - but that basically I physically hurt him by being to rough

He was nice enough about it - thing is - it really hit a nerve and now I just don't want to have intimate relations with him anymore - my reaction is out of proportion to his comments - I don't know why??

Oh my god. So that's how you guys keep warm up in Canada. I'm not sure what he means by you being "too rough" but you sound like my kind of gal!

Maybe - I was very overtired/sick did not want to have sex he persuaded me and then when it wasn't what he wanted - critiqued me - does that qualify him as a jerk - does that make sense that now that I no longer feel that safe re: having sex with him? Safe as in - emotionally safe?

ah -- cancel my previous comment then.

He tells you hurt him and all you care about is that you were "critiqued." You're a narcassist.
He should dump you.
Why not get out of your ego and talk about it with him.

OMG!!!!you can NEVER be TOO rough sweety

or maybe not
it does make sense that you don't feel emotionally safe
it also makes sense that if you physically hurt him he should have the right to tell you

i'm no advice columnist :(

It sounds to me like you need to set up some boundaries with this guy.

If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. He should respect that. No means no.

Also, I think a good rule of thumb is to go with your "gut." In other words, if you've got a gut feeling that something is wrong, it probably is. Back off and think this thing over. Don't wind up in a situation where you're stuck with this guy and you don't want to be.

Good luck to you.

You physically hurt the guy and you're whining about your emotional "safety." Sounds like pure narcissism. Anyone who tells you that you're not perfect is bad.

He persuaded her means she said yes. So, OP, did you hurt him as a kind of payback? Couldn't stick to your "no" so you punished him for your weakness. Now you got what you want--he was hurt--but somehow you're the victim? You're very abusive.

OK you may be right - but what can I do to get over how I feel toward him now - I feel really hurt -

OK you may be right - but what can I do to get over how I feel toward him now - I feel really hurt -

lol you're crappy at sex

How did you hurt him. Did you lean back to far when you were riding him?
Lol.

No I didn't intentionally hurt him physically - I thought he was fine during the act. I would never intentionally hurt him - but now I feel cool toward him and wish I didn't

Dude, chill. You're oversimplifying this.

Back off and give her the benefit of the doubt. Remember, what you put out will come back three-fold. This person needs good advice and you're hitting her with mindfuck horseshit armchair psychiatry. Don't be a passive-aggressive misogynist. You do not have enough information to diagnose narcissism. One day you'll be in a rough spot, and when you are, I hope someone heaps mindfuck on you instead of helping. You'd deserve it... unless you change course.

ya so essentially that's what he said and now I never want to have sex with him again - and yes it's true if I had been more insistent that he respect my boundaries - ie I was too tired this would not have happened

I smell a troll.

Just say,okay, we will never have sex again. Then wait a few days, he'll be back for more.

Thanks!

No - I'm not a troll - that's just an easy way to dismiss people.

Yeah who wants his critique when you didn't even want to do it in the first place. No sex for him! lol

exactly my point - I was too overtired - and had to do most of the work - that's why I inadvertently physically hurt him - then he was so hungry and after I made him a meal - he proceeded to critique me - kinda a bit much for me.

Ok I have IMO some good advice. The best sex is had by two people who feel so completely comfortable with each other that they can communicate their likes, dislikes, what really feels good, where to touch etc. This way the two of you are always for the most part satisfied sexually. From what you said it didn't sound all that rude or mean. It sounded like communication. Anyhow have a nice day. :)

OK so fine - how can I get over feeling hurt by it - and feeling like I never want to have sex with him again

Oh yeah, trust me... Evidently, you've never been with a Klingon woman... O_o

If that's the case, then dump him now.

i remember when this was a conspiracy forum