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wave upon wave of grief

 
khoisansun
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User ID: 16597693
South Africa
06/02/2012 11:19 AM
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wave upon wave of grief
I am always upbeat, aware of a true intelligence and laugh out loud a lot. Many times a day. For the past three days wave upon wave of grief are flowing through me. Today watching some young kids playing netball I just found the tears pouring out.
There is a softness in the grief yet it is very powerful.
Thoughout the days I just feel it. Earlier on I had chest pains and it felt like the heart had broken. And yet it is not my grief, it is almost like a universal one or the grief of man.

It is not something I would have chosen.
It forces me to breathe and just remain with the intensity of each passing moment.

Oh dear Angel of mine, right now I am too sore and too small to know what to do.
Please take my burden, just for a little while, so that I may find peace for a moment.
gratitude turns what we have into enough.
Sandrose

User ID: 1505243
United States
06/02/2012 11:25 AM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
It is not good to keep it all the time for oneself.

Come, you can cry on my shoulder, I have been through it too hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16205318
United States
06/02/2012 11:30 AM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
It's always darkest, right before the glorious Son returns!

Don't 'fear'...you already know how this ends! hf
khoisansun (OP)

User ID: 16597693
South Africa
06/02/2012 11:58 AM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
Thanking you for the feedback.

Was wondering if this was in any way linked to the venus transit on the 6th.
Does anyone know what this is expected to bring at a deeper level?
gratitude turns what we have into enough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10389511
United States
06/02/2012 11:59 AM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I am always upbeat, aware of a true intelligence and laugh out loud a lot. Many times a day. For the past three days wave upon wave of grief are flowing through me. Today watching some young kids playing netball I just found the tears pouring out.
There is a softness in the grief yet it is very powerful.
Thoughout the days I just feel it. Earlier on I had chest pains and it felt like the heart had broken. And yet it is not my grief, it is almost like a universal one or the grief of man.

It is not something I would have chosen.
It forces me to breathe and just remain with the intensity of each passing moment.

Oh dear Angel of mine, right now I am too sore and too small to know what to do.
Please take my burden, just for a little while, so that I may find peace for a moment.
 Quoting: khoisansun


Did you get married?
khoisansun (OP)

User ID: 16597693
South Africa
06/02/2012 12:02 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
ha ha no did not get married.
gratitude turns what we have into enough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10129608
Canada
06/02/2012 12:06 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I too feel grief for humanity as well as other life here. I believe it is a normal response to grieve when justified, but for your mental health try not to dwell on the negative. For every negative thought replace it with three positive thoughts.
khoisansun (OP)

User ID: 16597693
South Africa
06/02/2012 12:08 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
That is not so easy.
It is easier to not speak negative things.
I have no control over my thoughts.
How can I , I don't even know what the next thought will be.
gratitude turns what we have into enough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6493463
United States
06/02/2012 12:09 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I am always upbeat, aware of a true intelligence and laugh out loud a lot. Many times a day. For the past three days wave upon wave of grief are flowing through me. Today watching some young kids playing netball I just found the tears pouring out.
There is a softness in the grief yet it is very powerful.
Thoughout the days I just feel it. Earlier on I had chest pains and it felt like the heart had broken. And yet it is not my grief, it is almost like a universal one or the grief of man.

It is not something I would have chosen.
It forces me to breathe and just remain with the intensity of each passing moment.

Oh dear Angel of mine, right now I am too sore and too small to know what to do.
Please take my burden, just for a little while, so that I may find peace for a moment.
 Quoting: khoisansun


Before menopause I often cried for no apparent reason, from a combined sense of joy and tragedy, that life is just too beautiful and too sad to bear, and too short as well.

There's a word in Portuguese, "saudade", which approximates the feeling that usually got me to that point. It means roughly a feeling of longing or yearning that cannot be quenched. From wikipedia:

Saudade was once described as "the love that remains" after someone is gone.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6493463
United States
06/02/2012 12:12 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I am always upbeat, aware of a true intelligence and laugh out loud a lot. Many times a day. For the past three days wave upon wave of grief are flowing through me. Today watching some young kids playing netball I just found the tears pouring out.
There is a softness in the grief yet it is very powerful.
Thoughout the days I just feel it. Earlier on I had chest pains and it felt like the heart had broken. And yet it is not my grief, it is almost like a universal one or the grief of man.

It is not something I would have chosen.
It forces me to breathe and just remain with the intensity of each passing moment.

Oh dear Angel of mine, right now I am too sore and too small to know what to do.
Please take my burden, just for a little while, so that I may find peace for a moment.
 Quoting: khoisansun


Before menopause I often cried for no apparent reason, from a combined sense of joy and tragedy, that life is just too beautiful and too sad to bear, and too short as well.

There's a word in Portuguese, "saudade", which approximates the feeling that usually got me to that point. It means roughly a feeling of longing or yearning that cannot be quenched. From wikipedia:

Saudade was once described as "the love that remains" after someone is gone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6493463


Since menopause, nada. Which could suggest it's hormonal (though I have a good male friend who experiences this so not necessarily estrogen). Or it could suggest that life generally is less emotional now (children have grown up, no pet has died recently, etc.).
khoisansun (OP)

User ID: 16597693
South Africa
06/02/2012 12:14 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief

I am always upbeat, aware of a true intelligence and laugh out loud a lot. Many times a day. For the past three days

Before menopause I often cried for no apparent reason, from a combined sense of joy and tragedy, that life is just too beautiful and too sad to bear, and too short as well.

There's a word in Portuguese, "saudade", which approximates the feeling that usually got me to that point. It means roughly a feeling of longing or yearning that cannot be quenched. From wikipedia:

Saudade was once described as "the love that remains" after someone is gone.
 Quoting: khoisansun


I am heading to menopause. Perhaps it is that. I know in pregnancy I was extremely vulnerable to suffering of others. It always seemed as if life was so uncertain when carrying a being within you. The thought of keeping it safe so daunting.

I have been listening to some Porugeuse talks and music the last few days - don't understand it intellectually but the language resonates with me at a deep level so funny you raise it here. It is a beautiful word to keep in focus.
gratitude turns what we have into enough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8806956
United States
06/02/2012 12:20 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
It sounds like clinical depression OP. I have been there. You can alternate between moments of simple joy and awe, and a deep, all-consuming grief you can't explain, but mostly the latter.

Your chest pains are probably anxiety and related to the depression. I have had it all my life even as a child, and I had postpartum depression after my first child. I feel like its gotten a little better as I have gotten older but maybe I've just learned to live with it better?

Anyway, GLP is not good when you are depressed/anxious! Take a break from it, pick up a good book instead.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1342668
Canada
06/02/2012 12:41 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I was told once (10yrs past now) by a wisewoman that the waves of grief should be accepted and embraced. With acceptance, the grief changes. You are supposed to love the sorrow and in this process of love, the energy converts. Understand it comes from everything, the all. You're a filter for energy change. Lay down on the grass and let it flow through you, back to the earth and sky.
khoisansun (OP)

User ID: 16597693
South Africa
06/02/2012 12:44 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I was told once (10yrs past now) by a wisewoman that the waves of grief should be accepted and embraced. With acceptance, the grief changes. You are supposed to love the sorrow and in this process of love, the energy converts. Understand it comes from everything, the all. You're a filter for energy change. Lay down on the grass and let it flow through you, back to the earth and sky.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1342668


I sleep in a tent at night so I feel the earth directly.
Thank you for this input.
gratitude turns what we have into enough.
seeker2

User ID: 8723903
Thailand
06/02/2012 12:56 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
this happened to me quite a few years back. I woke up in the morning and cried the whole day. As it turns out I was just processing through the original grief from when I denied myself to get approval from others as a child. good luck I hope this helps. sk
BadHairDay

User ID: 15456734
Australia
06/10/2012 08:08 PM
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Re: wave upon wave of grief
I was told once (10yrs past now) by a wisewoman that the waves of grief should be accepted and embraced. With acceptance, the grief changes. You are supposed to love the sorrow and in this process of love, the energy converts. Understand it comes from everything, the all. You're a filter for energy change. Lay down on the grass and let it flow through you, back to the earth and sky.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1342668


I sleep in a tent at night so I feel the earth directly.
Thank you for this input.
 Quoting: khoisansun


I want to believe this. I've been feeling the same, as have many others. Aware, deep within, yet not being able to understand why. A connection with 'someone' greater who is a tad sad atm.

I think the message sent back to the Sun the other day may have been about loss, or sacrifice. Just a guess.

Maybe her true moon is being returned?
It's all about the 'vibe'

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