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new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected

 
MrMAYOR
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Australia
06/03/2012 07:27 AM
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new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
a UWS journal did a world wide survey and found that grandparents are not stepping up and taking their role as grandparents seriously. "Most grandparents dont think their role is as important as when they were a parent, they feel like they can take a backseat approuch to grandparenting, although most studys prove loving grandparents is of the upmost importance to a child" Sweeden ranked the highest in grandparent involvment in education and Italy ranked highest in grandparent influence in the home, it seems the simply traditions of cooking with grandma cant be beat.
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 07:32 AM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
2 words:

baby boomers
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16515777
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 07:41 AM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
oh yeah they shoved me into a rest home where i get a regular beatdown , have to eat shit everyday, they visit me once a year and wonder why I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANY MORE???!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17282525


Maybe if you made better cookies they would have kept you around.
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 07:52 AM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
2 words:

baby boomers
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16849097


you meant to say "x generation" -


Baby boomers have been grandmothers and grandfathers for nearly 30 years and are dying off as great-grandparents.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 08:22 AM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
I live around mainly 65 to 75 year old people. The disconnect in them with their grandchildren is amazing. Now that said there are a FEW who are not like that but it is rare. Most seem very aware their grandchildren are basically living in a 3rd world economy and they live in a 1st world economy. They do not seem to care....sad.verysad
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
06/03/2012 08:29 AM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Every where I go I see white grandpa's & grandads raising / acting as the male role model for their white daughters unwed african mulatto children.

At least they get raised by a white male and will lose that chip on their shoulder.

Maybe they should have been better fathers instead of putting them in front of the TV as children and having them raised by MTV purposley designed to market thug life for profit and grow the gov't beauracracies.
Nemesis-incognitO

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United Kingdom
06/03/2012 08:30 AM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Thanks OP, you've raised a very good point, although I hasten to say the entire family structure has almost corroded...

...There are many factors that have caused us to reach where we're at; economic reasons, social reasons and so on... There is an agenda behind this, as I am sure most can now see manifest before their very eyes!

...Everything that seems to be set up to 'help out' is in fact usually the quite the opposite; for example the 'Care Homes'...now we've all heard the horror stories; and as one poster mentioned, they felt why should they care when they fear they would face their twilight years in some awful institution!

...It doesn't have to be this way; we shouldn't NEED any institutions to help us with our family; we should be strong together...we have a duty towards each other that should not be seen as a burden....but I guess it is to late for all that!
There is Only One Truth
LindaE

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06/03/2012 01:38 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Why? Well, we're living farther from them than ever before, and we're living healthier so we don't just sit around and wait for a visit... if we can afford it, we may be off traveling.

Our two grandsons come to visit about once a month, and the oldest one (11yrs old) loves to sit and play video games, so we have to make sure to drag him outside to play, help with the garden, etc. That family lives about 65 miles away and headed by a single mom who is always busy.

The other child is married, lives 300 miles away, but no kids yet, and most likely never due to health issues. We see little of him since his job is uncertain and they don't have much $$ or time. we visit them 2-3 times a year.

Families don't live together like they used to. My best friend lives with her married daughter and their kids, and grandkids. Gets pretty hectic there, but she loves it as long as she gets a break once in a while.

It's an interesting study though.bump
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 01:53 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Boomers had it great. They could work for a company and retire in thirty years.

Xer's don't have it that easy for the most part. They know they have to work well into their 60's to be able to retire. So I can understand the disconnect. Having the means to support oneself takes precedence.

I feel even worse for the Y generation.
IllumiNaughty

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06/03/2012 02:02 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Gen Xers are only just starting to become grandparents. I'd bet you anything that study is mostly boomers.

OP, do you have a link to that story or study? I'd like to see more.

Last Edited by IllumiNaughty on 06/03/2012 02:04 PM
The Orignal.
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Anonymous Coward
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Saudi Arabia
06/03/2012 02:02 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
One set of grandparents were Okay when I was a child. The other grandmother had minus zero interest in any of her eleven grandchildren. My sister and I were forced to visit her once a month, but she saw the other nine maybe once in fifteen years. She died in 1975, and all I remember about her is that she made me a necklace made from aluminum soda pop flip tops one Christmas and was the rudest and nastiest person I had ever met. The set of grandparents turned out to be totally insane and dysfunctional. Never in a million years would they care what happened to me.
This study is very flawed. Grandparents in the U.S. were never involved in the lives of their grandchildren.
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 02:05 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
That's because they don't want to be like their friends and raise some half black brat of their whore drug addict daughters, like all of their friends, and paying for all of it. They already raised their kids.
Anonymous Coward
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Japan
06/03/2012 02:07 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Pretty much everyone is becoming more selfish and disconnected, so why should grandparents be any different?
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 02:13 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
I live around mainly 65 to 75 year old people. The disconnect in them with their grandchildren is amazing. Now that said there are a FEW who are not like that but it is rare. Most seem very aware their grandchildren are basically living in a 3rd world economy and they live in a 1st world economy. They do not seem to care....sad.verysad
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14914603


I've seen that as well. Baby boomers are a rather self-centered generation, generally speaking (of course, there are exceptions). As they're hitting retirement age, don't expect them to give a crap about anyone except themselves.

The Books "Generations" and "The Fourth Turning" give a lot of insight into the baby boomer generation and their dynamic with other generations.

It will be better when the generation after the boomers comes into retirement age; that generation will care more about the grandchildren. Unfortunately, they'll be a very financially strapped / bankrupted generation, but they'll do good things for their grand children with their time.
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 02:15 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
bullshit "me first" generation idiots!!!!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 10:36 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
One set of grandparents were Okay when I was a child. The other grandmother had minus zero interest in any of her eleven grandchildren. My sister and I were forced to visit her once a month, but she saw the other nine maybe once in fifteen years. She died in 1975, and all I remember about her is that she made me a necklace made from aluminum soda pop flip tops one Christmas and was the rudest and nastiest person I had ever met. The set of grandparents turned out to be totally insane and dysfunctional. Never in a million years would they care what happened to me.
This study is very flawed. Grandparents in the U.S. were never involved in the lives of their grandchildren.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17297796

I had crappy grandparents too. I'm a Babyboomer. One parent's parents were dead before I was born and the other parent- they were both getting senile by the time I was born. Grandpa was supposed to have been nice but wasn't really involved with me. Grandma never seemed to like me but preferred my cousins. She saw them all the time. She had been abusive to her own kids. They both ignored me. I used to joke that I must have been the family bastard. I think they just weren't interested and were only nice to my cousins because they lived nearby and my aunt did more stuff for them. Or maybe I was the family bastard.

I never got a gift from them. I know they were poor, but nothing? Grandma patted me on the head once as I walked by and that's the only affection I remember from them. They never hugged or kissed me. They lived a couple of hours away and we visited them about once a month. My mother would take them stuff and do things for them. I don't remember them talking to me at all really. Maybe Grandpa said a few sentences to me, I'm not sure. They were both dead before I was 10. Great memories, huh? I wish I could have had a loving grandma at least.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
06/03/2012 10:37 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Study finds that baby boomers are becoming grandparents.
DaddysGirl

User ID: 1343328
United States
06/03/2012 10:39 PM

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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
If grandparents are bad, it's the PARENTS that are worse! Here's a good example...

Thread: 19 Year Old Mother Arrested For Leaving One Month Old Baby On Top of Car
Sandi_T

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United States
06/03/2012 10:40 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
I think that at least in the USA, it's been several generations since grandparent involvement was considered acceptable by most parents.

Much less wanted and valued.

I am fortunate in my in-laws, in that at least my mother-in-law is very active in my daughter's life. And I go out of my way to help support, encourage, and strengthen that bond.

Utmost importance, in my opinion.
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 10:45 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
2 words:

baby boomers
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16849097


FEMINISM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3960495
United States
06/03/2012 10:45 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
My two grandfathers pulled the ultimate disconnect on me and passed away before I was born.

Am I entitled to some type of retribution or gov money?
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
06/03/2012 10:46 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Don't worry about it.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 10:47 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
RECENT RELEVANT CONVERTSATION NEWS ALERT:

I was just talking with a chick I know who is from Bulgaria. She says that in Bulgaria, the grandparents always raise the children for the most part
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 10:49 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
an email I am sharing..

John G. is 63 years old and owns a small business. He's a life-long Republican and sees his dream of retiring next year has all but evaporated. With the stock market crashing and new taxes coming his way, John assumes now that he will work to his dying day.


John has a granddaughter. Ashley is a recent college grad. She drives a flashy hybrid car, wears all the latest fashions, and loves to go out to nightclubs and restaurants. Ashley campaigned hard for Barack Obama. After the election she made sure her grandfather (and all other Republican family members) received a big I told-you-so earful on how the world is going to be a much better place now that her party is taking over.


Having lost both roommates, Ashley recently ran short of cash and cannot pay the rent (again) on her 3 bedroom townhouse... Like she has done many times in the past, she e-mailed her grandfather asking for some financial help.


Here is his reply:

Sweetheart, I received your request for assistance. Ashley, you know I love you dearly and I'm sympathetic to your financial plight. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the election of President Obama, your grandmother and I have had to set forth a bold new economic plan of our own...."The Ashley Economic Empowerment Plan." Let me explain.

Your grandmother and I are life-long, wage-earning tax payers. We have lived a comfortable life, as you know, but we have never had the fancier things like European vacations, luxury cars, etc... We have worked hard and were looking forward to retiring soon. But the plan has changed. Your president is raising our personal and business taxes significantly. He says it is so he can give our hard earned money to other people... Do you know what this means, Ashley? It means less for us, and we must cut back on many business and personal expenses.

You know the wonderful receptionist who worked in my office for more than 23 years? The one who always gave you candy when you came over to visit? I had to let her go last week. I can't afford to pay her salary and all of the government mandated taxes that go with having employees.... Your grandmother will now work 4 days a week to answer phones, take orders and handle the books. We will be closed on Fridays and will lose even more income.

I'm also very sorry to report that your cousin Frank will no longer be working summers in the warehouse. I called him at school this morning. He already knows about it and he's upset because he will have to give up skydiving and his yearly trip to Greenland to survey the polar bears.

That's just the business side of things. Some personal economic effects of Obama's new taxation policies include none other than you. You know very well that over the years your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in cash, tuition assistance, food, housing, clothing, gifts, etc., etc. But by your vote, you have chosen to help others -- not at your expense -- but at our expense.

If you need money now sweetheart, I recommend you call (000) 456-1111. That is the direct phone number for the White House.. You can also contact the White House here: httpwh itehouse.gov/CONTACT/%C2%A0;..


You yourself told me how foolish it is to vote Republican... You said Mr. Obama is going to be the People's President, and is going to help every American live a better life. Based on everything you've told me, along with all the promises we heard during the campaign, I'm sure Mr. Obama will be happy to transfer some stimulus money into your bank account. Have him call me for the account number which I memorized years ago.

Perhaps you can now understand what I've been saying all my life:Those who vote for a president should consider the impact on the nation as a whole, and not be just concerned with what they can get for themselves. What Obama supporters don't seem to realize is all of the money he is redistributing to illegal aliens and non-taxpaying Americans (the so-called "less fortunate") comes from tax-paying families.

Remember how you told me, "Only the richest of the rich will be affected"? Well guess what, honey? Because we own a business, your grandmother and I are now considered to be the richest of the rich. On paper, it might look that way, but in the real world, we are far from it..

As you said while campaigning for Obama, some people will have to carry more of the burden so all of America can prosper... You understand what that means, right? It means that raising taxes on productive people results in them having less money; less money for everything, including granddaughters.

finish the rest of the article below to be in compliance with GLPs copyright 50% posting rule with link to source


[link to www.facebook.com]

Last Edited by Phennommennonn on 01/01/2014 07:48 AM
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 10:49 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
If grandparents are bad, it's the PARENTS that are worse! Here's a good example...

Thread: 19 Year Old Mother Arrested For Leaving One Month Old Baby On Top of Car
 Quoting: DaddysGirl


Have you considered that a baby seat takes up a bunch of space that could have been better used as space for a 30 pack?
Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 10:51 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Not in my family. My mom just dropped everything and went down to help out with my brand-new niece (born today!) even though my brother has been rather cruel to her in the past. She had her flaws as a mother (which mother doesn't?) but I can say that my nephew (son from a different brother), who is five, has had the best grandma EVER. She dotes on him, has him up to her twenty country acres as often as possible, and would throw herself in front of a mountain lion without hesitation. She teaches him about gardening, helps him ride her horses, and plays with him for hours.

As would I, his aunt. Every time he comes up I am here and we bake together. That's our tradition. Today we baked oatmeal chocolate-chunk cookies. Last time he was up here we baked bread and a banana cake.

He was unhappy about cutting his visit short so my mom could go down to help with the new baby. So he and I went for a walk in the pasture, climbed an oak tree, swung on the swing, and had a talk about how a new baby is a special occasion but this won't have to happen every time he comes up here to visit.

I love being an aunt, and my mom loves being a grandma. And now we have a new niece/granddaughter!

Not every family is disintegrating, even though we live farther away than I would like.
IllumiNaughty

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United States
06/03/2012 11:09 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
I wish my kid had grandparents. Both my parents and my husbands parents died before we were married.
The Orignal.
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Anonymous Coward
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06/03/2012 11:11 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
I'm raising one grandchild since she was one. She's 10 now. I babysit my grandson now who is 2 so, my daughter can work. Not all grandparents are not involved. I have totally given up aspects of my life for them. I could be having a very easy life at this time but, you got to do what you got to do when kids are involved. They both love me dearly and have brought a lot of joy into my life even if it is hard.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
06/03/2012 11:13 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Divorce being so common, is a big thing for Grandparents.

Some of them love their grandchild and the divorce happens and they are not allowed to see them anymore.


It makes Grandparents loath to get too involved. Plus the threat of being told "If you do that, you won't see the children anymore" from parents that stay together, is very real. The children are often used as a tool, against the other parent or the grandparents.

Grandparents have very little say even though the laws are changing.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 11:22 PM
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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Well here is a flip side........ I'm an active grandparent and to be quite honest, I do not think their parents appreciate it! In fact, I sometimes feel that they would NOT want me to be active. The children love us very much and enjoy coming over but I feel the parents resent it.

YOU CAN'T WIN!
Northman

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United States
06/03/2012 11:32 PM

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Re: new studies show Grandparents are becoming more selfish and disconnected
Older folk are tired of knocking themselves out for unapreciative children and grandchildren. The younger people are self centered egotistical and stupid slobs who need to learn a bit about real life by experiencing some hard knocks and being forced to fend for themselves.

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