Letter to Barack Obama

Dear Mr. Obama,

I learned yesterday that you have 'evolving' views on marriage. Just so I am in full understanding, you are saying you no longer believe that marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. If it is now open to interpretation then what is it?

At the San Francisco Marriage Counter

"Next."
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?"
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers?? You can't get married."
"Why not?? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who'vebeen denied equal protection under the law.If you are not gay, you
can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as Ihave. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a
woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against usjust because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license.
Next."


"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert,
Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves
June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that
we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is thatit's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says?? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says theconstitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a
marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."


"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
In what names?"
"David Deets."
"And the other person?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself?? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want tomarry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"


So Mr. Obama, exactly how evolved are you???