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my wife hates it when i masticate

 
SOFA-KING-COOL
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User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 12:02 PM

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my wife hates it when i masticate
my wife can hear me chew or swallow liquids from like 50 feet away and she has a MAJOR problem with it.

it makes me very self consious.
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17288293
Spain
06/10/2012 12:04 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You need to recalibrate her. Try swallowing/chewing very loudly for 1 week, then when you go back to "normal" she will be relieved and realise just how good she's had it all along.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4619492
United States
06/10/2012 12:05 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
my wife can hear me chew or swallow liquids from like 50 feet away and she has a MAJOR problem with it.

it makes me very self consious.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


keep chewing , most don't very well.
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 12:13 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
thanx for the support guys! i know its not me its her.
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17538117
United Kingdom
06/10/2012 12:16 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
my wife can hear me chew or swallow liquids from like 50 feet away and she has a MAJOR problem with it.

it makes me very self consious.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


chew like a cow and swallow like a whore..
Ardhanarishvara

User ID: 12662903
06/10/2012 12:18 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Do you chew with your mouth open?

Do you gulp when you swallow?

Last Edited by Ardhanarishvara on 06/10/2012 12:18 PM
:sun:Ardhanarishvara | You died, and death was complete freedom from suffering - bliss. But it very quickly got lonely and repetitive in bliss, so you decided to be born once more. You've been doing this forever.

Whilst I may not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death my right to disagree with you.

Some say "think outside the box". I say "what fucking box?!" xx:taosmilie:
chobee

User ID: 4975925
United States
06/10/2012 12:23 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Smaller bites, sip instead of gulp and chew with your mouth closed.
See how that works.
Good luck!
chobee
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1507763
United States
06/10/2012 12:26 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
What are you doing, chewing behind a bullhorn?
JACKYL

User ID: 17543997
United States
06/10/2012 12:30 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Do you chew with your mouth open?

Do you gulp when you swallow?
 Quoting: Ardhanarishvara


^^This^^
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 252372
United States
06/10/2012 12:31 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
If you don't improve your masticating, you might be improving your masturbating!

scream
BZB

User ID: 1331320
United States
06/10/2012 12:32 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Masticate on her pussy. Guarantee when she hears you masticating she will look forward to that night.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15411952
Canada
06/10/2012 12:33 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
If you don't improve your masticating, you might be improving your masturbating!

scream
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 252372


this!!!! cruise
benjamin w

User ID: 11424957
United States
06/10/2012 12:35 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
try putting paper bag over your head.
nobody really
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17702301
United States
06/10/2012 12:52 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
This thread raises the question why are relgious people such uncouth clods?
Bluebird

User ID: 730536
United States
06/10/2012 12:54 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You must be making a lot of noise or she wouldn't know when you are doing it.

Silence is golden.
One of the most important aspects of conspiracy theories is being able to discern when there isn't one.

Oh yeah, like you'd understand anyway.

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?. . .J. Handy
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 01:08 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
This thread raises the question why are relgious people such uncouth clods?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17702301


im not religious dumbshit
SLAM THAT CLAM
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 01:09 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You must be making a lot of noise or she wouldn't know when you are doing it.

Silence is golden.
 Quoting: Bluebird


i always chew with my mouth closed, i dont make any more noise than a normal person.

she just TRIES to hear it.

i do chug water sometimes but normally i drink slow and quiet.

she is freaking me out with this shit, everytime i eat or drink she leaves the room.
SLAM THAT CLAM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17538117
United Kingdom
06/10/2012 01:25 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You must be making a lot of noise or she wouldn't know when you are doing it.

Silence is golden.
 Quoting: Bluebird


i always chew with my mouth closed, i dont make any more noise than a normal person.

she just TRIES to hear it.

i do chug water sometimes but normally i drink slow and quiet.

she is freaking me out with this shit, everytime i eat or drink she leaves the room.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


Then surely the problem lies with her and not you OP.
the mighty Atom
User ID: 17707716
Japan
06/10/2012 01:28 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Send her for two Weeks to Japan,
she would get mad here or "normal"!

The Japanese males do this all the Time
when they eat Ramen or Soba!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17252393
United States
06/10/2012 01:28 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Smaller bites, sip instead of gulp and chew with your mouth closed.
See how that works.
Good luck!
 Quoting: chobee


No, don't 'sip' it either - it's just as annoying as straight out'slurping'.. just pour the damn drink into your piehole - no sucking needed..
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 01:30 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
Send her for two Weeks to Japan,
she would get mad here or "normal"!

The Japanese males do this all the Time
when they eat Ramen or Soba!
 Quoting: the mighty Atom 17707716


lol i always tell her that in japan its a COMPLEMENT to the chef to slurp your soup.
SLAM THAT CLAM
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 01:32 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
she gets annoyed if i slurp

she gets annoyed if my teeth touch the silverware

the noise of my chewing

the noise of my swallowing

she has ALL the bases covered
SLAM THAT CLAM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1483912
United States
06/10/2012 01:32 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You need to recalibrate her. Try swallowing/chewing very loudly for 1 week, then when you go back to "normal" she will be relieved and realise just how good she's had it all along.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17288293


What you do, you become.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17192305
United States
06/10/2012 01:32 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You must be making a lot of noise or she wouldn't know when you are doing it.

Silence is golden.
 Quoting: Bluebird


i always chew with my mouth closed, i dont make any more noise than a normal person.

she just TRIES to hear it.

i do chug water sometimes but normally i drink slow and quiet.

she is freaking me out with this shit, everytime i eat or drink she leaves the room.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


SFC, it's not the chewing and swollowing that is the problem. Those are just excuses. She doesn't love you. I'm sorry. Like most women, she would probably be happy if you had your paycheck deposited to her account and you went somewhere else.
Say No to 1984
User ID: 16828529
United States
06/10/2012 01:48 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
my wife can hear me chew or swallow liquids from like 50 feet away and she has a MAJOR problem with it.

it makes me very self consious.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


Trying eating your GMO food in a sound proof room next time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3648215
United States
06/10/2012 01:57 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
I bet she has a nervous breakdown when you eat out. crazyjak
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4227306
United States
06/10/2012 01:59 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You must be making a lot of noise or she wouldn't know when you are doing it.

Silence is golden.
 Quoting: Bluebird


i always chew with my mouth closed, i dont make any more noise than a normal person.

she just TRIES to hear it.

i do chug water sometimes but normally i drink slow and quiet.

she is freaking me out with this shit, everytime i eat or drink she leaves the room.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


*Sneek* up behind her, get real close to her ear from behind...then chew like a mother fucker!

:Dooooh!:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16861360
United States
06/10/2012 02:01 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
my wife can hear me chew or swallow liquids from like 50 feet away and she has a MAJOR problem with it.

it makes me very self consious.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


People who have misophonia are most commonly annoyed, or even enraged, by such ordinary sounds as other people eating, breathing, sniffing, or coughing; certain consonants; or repetitive sounds.[6][7] People with misophonia may be diagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder. Though a few sufferers are bothered by sounds they make themselves, most are not.[7] The reactions are completely involuntary.
People who have misophonia may also be annoyed by other people's repetitive movements, such as leg-tapping, nail-biting, the rising and falling of the belly, and typing.[8]
Sensitivity to these sounds tends to be exacerbated by anger, stress, hunger, or fatigue.
The onset of the symptoms appears to have a characteristic pattern, often in childhood just prior to or during puberty. Often there is a single initial trigger (such as a parent's or sibling's noises), after which the triggers expand over time to include both auditory or visual elements. It is speculated that there is a genetic basis for this disorder as the etiological data supports a similar pattern of emergence, but this remains to be determined.

[link to en.wikipedia.org]

Its misophonia, know a few people with this,.
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 02:04 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
my wife can hear me chew or swallow liquids from like 50 feet away and she has a MAJOR problem with it.

it makes me very self consious.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


People who have misophonia are most commonly annoyed, or even enraged, by such ordinary sounds as other people eating, breathing, sniffing, or coughing; certain consonants; or repetitive sounds.[6][7] People with misophonia may be diagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder. Though a few sufferers are bothered by sounds they make themselves, most are not.[7] The reactions are completely involuntary.
People who have misophonia may also be annoyed by other people's repetitive movements, such as leg-tapping, nail-biting, the rising and falling of the belly, and typing.[8]
Sensitivity to these sounds tends to be exacerbated by anger, stress, hunger, or fatigue.
The onset of the symptoms appears to have a characteristic pattern, often in childhood just prior to or during puberty. Often there is a single initial trigger (such as a parent's or sibling's noises), after which the triggers expand over time to include both auditory or visual elements. It is speculated that there is a genetic basis for this disorder as the etiological data supports a similar pattern of emergence, but this remains to be determined.

[link to en.wikipedia.org]

Its misophonia, know a few people with this,.
 Quoting: FabulousOne


clappa

thanx!
SLAM THAT CLAM
SOFA-KING-COOL (OP)

User ID: 16995352
United States
06/10/2012 02:06 PM

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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
You must be making a lot of noise or she wouldn't know when you are doing it.

Silence is golden.
 Quoting: Bluebird


i always chew with my mouth closed, i dont make any more noise than a normal person.

she just TRIES to hear it.

i do chug water sometimes but normally i drink slow and quiet.

she is freaking me out with this shit, everytime i eat or drink she leaves the room.
 Quoting: SOFA-KING-COOL


SFC, it's not the chewing and swollowing that is the problem. Those are just excuses. She doesn't love you. I'm sorry. Like most women, she would probably be happy if you had your paycheck deposited to her account and you went somewhere else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17192305


probably this. she is a housewife. and she thinks she has it ROUGH.
SLAM THAT CLAM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1545939
United States
06/10/2012 02:06 PM
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Re: my wife hates it when i masticate
My wife hates my snoring.

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