Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,819 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,611,401
Pageviews Today: 2,644,055Threads Today: 870Posts Today: 19,096
10:02 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

What is your childhood trauma?

 
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/14/2012 11:39 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Well? The topic is pretty self-explanatory. Is there anything from the past that is keeping you from moving forward? Anything that you care to acknowledge? pennywise
 Quoting: Gr!g0ri

WOW
First, your user name is just like my first name.

Second, I mentioned GLP today to my psychologist

Third, my childhood trauma was a cruel and meanspirited alcoholic mother and being molested by a priest with the absolute worst part of that episode bring my mother forcing my to go on a walk with the priest so he could apologize for the misunderstanding (he didn't, he blamed me for ruining his vacation).

This thread and your User name make realize just how deeply depressed I am.

What has stopped me in my tracks and prevents me from moving forward is the fear that I am damaged beyond repair or redemption and that my depression is infecting my children and killing my marriage.

Thank you for not discriminating against the mentally ill.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1422341

I have another WOW for ya: my trauma was VERY similar. Replace the priest with older male siblings, and my mother pushing me to be more family-oriented...Go figure.

I dealt with it the wrong way for a long time by ignoring it. My mom is sweet as pie now but back then it was hell. Long story short, I stopped ignoring it. I told her what happened very recently and we had a huge talk about well...everything! It felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I'm in my early 20s so I can't imagine how it feels for people hold that type of stuff in their whole lives...I'm sorry you had to experience that but it can be very empowering if you accept it for what it is and realize that it doesn't control your present or future. wink
 Quoting: Gr!g0ri


Thank you Grigor! - I am 49, typing on a tablet (hence the typos) and hot tears are rolling down my face. This is very freaky and feels meaningful.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1422341


hfhfhfhfhf glad we communicated
Open heart, open mind :)
Beso

User ID: 17951817
United States
06/14/2012 11:40 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Leaving the closet light on! (Poltergeist)alone
~If everyone would take responsibility for their actions or lack of, then we could all be free~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17962694
United States
06/14/2012 11:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Being born was pretty traumatic.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17689295
United States
06/14/2012 11:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Yes....When I was about 4 years old my dad took us kids to the circus with my Grandpa. When we were leaving, I remember feeling so small and lost in a sea of legs exiting out of a long tunnel to the car. I was holding tightly onto my Grandpa's hand so I wouldn't get lost or trampled. At one point....someone bumped into me and forced my hand out of my Grandpa's, but his hand quickly came down and took mine again and we continued walking. I looked up to say something to him and suddenly realized it was not his hand I was holding but a clown's! I was terrified...and have had a fear of clowns since.....hate your avatar, by the way.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7889521
United States
06/14/2012 11:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
When I was 7 I was riding my bike around the neighborhood and a neighbor's guard dog-a doberman-knocked my off my bike and bit me a dozen times in the back before another neighbor came to help. I was taken to the ER where I underwent the rabies shots in my stomach. I was still very frightened from the attack, so the nurses had to hold me down while the doc injected me.

Funny thing is, you would think I'd be afraid of big dogs, but I just tend to not ever fully trust them. I am, however terrified of needles. Getting blood drawn or a shot makes me hyperventilate and eventually pass out if I focus on it too much. The nurses at my doc's office know that when I have an appt and need bloodwork done (which is frequently as I had cancer recently) they bring me straight back when I check in and one nurse draws the blood while another nurse distracts me. They are great. Its very embarrassing to me because I logically know its not going to hurt, but the fear is so ingrained in my brain I can't stop the visceral reaction.
 Quoting: no one 35


These days, it would be more likely for gnomes to sprout out of the ground and save you than another human being.
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/14/2012 11:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Yes....When I was about 4 years old my dad took us kids to the circus with my Grandpa. When we were leaving, I remember feeling so small and lost in a sea of legs exiting out of a long tunnel to the car. I was holding tightly onto my Grandpa's hand so I wouldn't get lost or trampled. At one point....someone bumped into me and forced my hand out of my Grandpa's, but his hand quickly came down and took mine again and we continued walking. I looked up to say something to him and suddenly realized it was not his hand I was holding but a clown's! I was terrified...and have had a fear of clowns since.....hate your avatar, by the way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17689295


Awwwwwwwwww :( I'd be terrified too
Open heart, open mind :)
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/14/2012 11:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Being born was pretty traumatic.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17962694


I totally agree with you there.
Open heart, open mind :)
mikebo2

User ID: 4907712
United States
06/14/2012 11:58 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I don't have one.


Most people my age don't have one.
Has the world gotten worse ?
OR
Has the world become a bunch of whinny victims ?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15865723
United States
06/15/2012 12:00 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I was raised in utter isolation by a "family" of three project team members. I was subjected to medical and psychological experimentation. I was given things but never saw or experienced real affection. I learned affection from animals.

I had no experience with children before entering first grade and was already reading on a college level. I was horrified by the other kids' behavior and spent the rest of my years in school trying to avoid beatings. I won't go into all the gory details, but it was pure unadulterated hell that affected me on every level and I had no escape - I caught hell at school and more at "home."

It doesn't hold me back any longer, but the events of my youth gave me a full appreciation of the following things:

- that humans are not immune to the genetic influences that cause animals to kill members of their pack who are too different

- that words are usually followed by stick and stones

- that some adults never grow out of the feral behaviors of childhood and that their sticks and stones sometimes have nuclear warheads

All of the other negative things I learned, I have unlearned.

I learned one other thing: that I am unbreakable.
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/15/2012 12:02 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I don't have one.


Most people my age don't have one.
Has the world gotten worse ?
OR
Has the world become a bunch of whinny victims ?
 Quoting: mikebo2


What's your age group? That's an interesting claim...
Open heart, open mind :)
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/15/2012 12:03 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I was raised in utter isolation by a "family" of three project team members. I was subjected to medical and psychological experimentation. I was given things but never saw or experienced real affection. I learned affection from animals.

I had no experience with children before entering first grade and was already reading on a college level. I was horrified by the other kids' behavior and spent the rest of my years in school trying to avoid beatings. I won't go into all the gory details, but it was pure unadulterated hell that affected me on every level and I had no escape - I caught hell at school and more at "home."

It doesn't hold me back any longer, but the events of my youth gave me a full appreciation of the following things:

- that humans are not immune to the genetic influences that cause animals to kill members of their pack who are too different

- that words are usually followed by stick and stones

- that some adults never grow out of the feral behaviors of childhood and that their sticks and stones sometimes have nuclear warheads

All of the other negative things I learned, I have unlearned.

I learned one other thing: that I am unbreakable.
 Quoting: Ensi Ma'ah

and that's all that matters. thanks for sharing
Open heart, open mind :)
mikebo2

User ID: 4907712
United States
06/15/2012 12:05 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I don't have one.


Most people my age don't have one.
Has the world gotten worse ?
OR
Has the world become a bunch of whinny victims ?
 Quoting: mikebo2


What's your age group? That's an interesting claim...
 Quoting: Gr!g0ri


50 to 60.

We understand that the world sucks but you still have to go on.
The rest of the world does not owe us anything... not even sympathy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7889521
United States
06/15/2012 12:07 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Someone grabbed me by the legs from atop a set of stairs and ran down the stairs when I was 7 or 8. *thunk thunk thunk* ...
Now I have schizophrenia and an alcohol problem, which I tend to correlate to that because ever since then weird junk has been going on in my head. This all occurred, because by pure accident, when I was 7 I hit this person's baby brother in the head with a metal baseball bat... twice... He snuck up from behind me both incidents, had no idea he was there. I couldn't believe it happened twice. Not a day goes by where I don't feel like shit about this. Probably had something to do with my drinking problem.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7889521
United States
06/15/2012 12:08 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Someone grabbed me by the legs from atop a set of stairs and ran down the stairs when I was 7 or 8. *thunk thunk thunk* ...
Now I have schizophrenia and an alcohol problem, which I tend to correlate to that because ever since then weird junk has been going on in my head. This all occurred, because by pure accident, when I was 7 I hit this person's baby brother in the head with a metal baseball bat... twice... He snuck up from behind me both incidents, had no idea he was there. I couldn't believe it happened twice. Not a day goes by where I don't feel like shit about this. Probably had something to do with my drinking problem.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7889521


I was playing baseball at the time.
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/15/2012 12:24 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I'm probably not alone when I say we all have multiple traumas that mess with our heads.

Here is a list of mine that probably still effect me as these types of traumas are hard to forget.

1) I was circumcised at age 4. A hateful nurse threatened to stick a sharp object up my penis if I didn't urinate in a cup before my surgery. It took 3 anesthetic shots to put me under as I was so terrified. I woke up of course with a penis that looked like a burnt hotdog.
This is my first conscious memory and remember practically nothing from age 4 to age 7.

2) At age 7, my brother and I were sent to a church camp my parents thought would be fun for us. It was run down; the church members tried to tell us every day we were going to hell if we didn't memorize bible verses; it was 102-105F every day. We couldn't get out of the heat and were forced to drink contaminated water (I got sick for a month after I got home). We thought about running away. I fell out of bed like 5 times a night. It took months for me to recover...I was a mental wreck.

2) I was thrown in a dirty lake in 3d grade by a church deacon who thought it would be good for me to overcome my fear of algea and slime.

3) I saw my brother come home from grades K & 1 all beat up by some bullies where one of the teachers actually encouraged the kids to beat him up. I told my mom I didn't want to grow up and go to school because I wasn't going to take that from anybody.

4) I had stagefright so bad in 4th grade during a mandetory play i had to be part of, I sank into a severe depression for the remainder of the school year. ( I think that was like 2 months of debilitaing depression). I even wrote a 5 page paper about how I was hoping things would get better in the future because things were pretty crummy in the now.

5) My brother and I (and most of our neighborhood that we moved to) were bullied by a bunch of gay teenagers whose dad was a corrupt cop who told them to extort money from families in the neighborhood. We lived in fear for 2 years and had dreams of horrible vengence for 3 years afterward which consumed a good part of our childhood.

6) Lastly....and probably the hardest trauma in parts
a) WHen I was 7 my mom told me where babies came from and told me it is a man's duty to give her wife babies. Never again did she speak of boy/girl , man/woman relationships

b) When I was 15 she set me up a date with someone at church ( a daughter of a choir member)

c) She later denied that this girl was my girlfreind and eventually called the girl a slut

d) Both my parents told me this girl was getting married (it wasn't her but her older sister).....I was devistated and we moved a week later. I didn't find out till like 25 years later.

e) As a result of that trauma, I got involved in lot's of drugs in HS even though I still got strait A's

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sure you all have similiar things........main thing is these things mess with your mind and most aren't talked about. IT's good to realize where some of the junk we deal with today comes from.
 Quoting: Dr_Kynes 15004554

How did I miss this..let me read banana2
Open heart, open mind :)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8427946
United States
06/15/2012 12:25 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Being born, but I really do not remember much of it, sorry.
Gr!g0ri (OP)

User ID: 3541799
United States
06/15/2012 12:27 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I don't have one.


Most people my age don't have one.
Has the world gotten worse ?
OR
Has the world become a bunch of whinny victims ?
 Quoting: mikebo2


What's your age group? That's an interesting claim...
 Quoting: Gr!g0ri


50 to 60.

We understand that the world sucks but you still have to go on.
The rest of the world does not owe us anything... not even sympathy.
 Quoting: mikebo2

Doesn't mean you haven't experienced a trauma or have been affected by it. A lot of people like to put on a front and ignore their emotional issues (not saying you are)...those are the same ones with regrets on their death bed.
Open heart, open mind :)
Amilius

User ID: 17064514
United States
06/15/2012 12:29 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Psychiatric anti-depressant damage
Aunty Flo

User ID: 17914841
Australia
06/15/2012 12:35 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Anyone with older brothers and sisters can understand.....

The tea bag treatment.
Daily punch and pinch.
Being held down and having various food from the trash smeared all over my face.
Being handcuffed, fully clothed, to a chair in the shower and having the cold water ran.
Being thrown in the swimming pool fully clothed on a regular basis.
Having my arm broken by a sister trying to teach me to dance.
Venus Alcyone

User ID: 1448151
United States
06/15/2012 12:39 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Well? The topic is pretty self-explanatory. Is there anything from the past that is keeping you from moving forward? Anything that you care to acknowledge? pennywise
 Quoting: Gr!g0ri


To many to list but I just trudge on. I'm not a quitter
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 16542544
United States
06/15/2012 12:50 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?


"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1492295
United States
06/15/2012 12:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?

 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


cruise that was the best part..

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3198332
United Kingdom
06/15/2012 12:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
That little troll/goblin from Steven King's The Cat's Eye.
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Jesus I had that exact same thing. For whatever reason I watched that on VHS when I was way too young to have seen it, and I went to sleep every night thinking it was gonna come and asphyxiate me.

I actually have physiologically induced asthma now every night when I go to bed, no joke. Never thought about whether it was connected til now though.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9540311
United States
06/15/2012 01:04 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
The memories that are only flashes of a memory.
The ones that make me go wtf happened?
Or the memories that you know happened but when you bring it up to your family they invalidate it and tell you it never happened.

I remember one...my mother was constantly worrying about the house catching on fire when I was 4 or 5.
She went through this streak of making me do a fire drill and jumping out of my bedroom window.
One night she made me do it barefoot and I landed on
an area totally covered in bullhead thorns.
My aunt spent about 20 minutes picking them out of my feet.
That's one of many my mother denies ever happening.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17921757
United States
06/15/2012 01:09 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Grew up with a narcissistic self obsessed mother and an abusive alcoholic father. Was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 4 til 12, at which point I stopped it myself by telling him if he ever touched me again I was going to sneak into his room while he was alseep, take a razor blade and open him up like a Christmas turkey. I finally told my mother about the abuse when I was 47 years old. She called me a liar and said that my grandfather wouldn't EVER do that to one of HER kids. Case closed.

My mother took me to see "The Exorcist" when I was 11. I had HORRIBLE nightmares for years.

My father used to tell me all the time I was ugly and stupid. Once took a school picture of mine and taped it to the back fence. I asked him why. He said "To scare away the crows"...and laughed.

Was thrown off my horse when I was 12. Alone in the woods with just the horse and me. The horse's leg was tangled in barbed wire. I had to lay across his neck and bite his ear to make him be still so I could get his leg loose. It was a bloody mess. I got a concussion when he threw his head and hit me under the eye with the side of his bit. Finally made it home and my dad screamed at me that if I didn't know how to take care of the horse he was going to get rid of it. Sold it the next week. That horse was my only friend.

There are alot of others, but you get the point...

I choose not to remain a victim....but sometimes the memories flood back and it's hard not to pull your hair and whimper like a whipped dog.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9540311
United States
06/15/2012 01:14 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Grew up with a narcissistic self obsessed mother and an abusive alcoholic father. Was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 4 til 12, at which point I stopped it myself by telling him if he ever touched me again I was going to sneak into his room while he was alseep, take a razor blade and open him up like a Christmas turkey. I finally told my mother about the abuse when I was 47 years old. She called me a liar and said that my grandfather wouldn't EVER do that to one of HER kids. Case closed.

My mother took me to see "The Exorcist" when I was 11. I had HORRIBLE nightmares for years.

My father used to tell me all the time I was ugly and stupid. Once took a school picture of mine and taped it to the back fence. I asked him why. He said "To scare away the crows"...and laughed.

Was thrown off my horse when I was 12. Alone in the woods with just the horse and me. The horse's leg was tangled in barbed wire. I had to lay across his neck and bite his ear to make him be still so I could get his leg loose. It was a bloody mess. I got a concussion when he threw his head and hit me under the eye with the side of his bit. Finally made it home and my dad screamed at me that if I didn't know how to take care of the horse he was going to get rid of it. Sold it the next week. That horse was my only friend.

There are alot of others, but you get the point...

I choose not to remain a victim....but sometimes the memories flood back and it's hard not to pull your hair and whimper like a whipped dog.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17921757


verysad

I wish I could go back in time and rescue you.
T Ceti H.C. Radnarg

User ID: 17777433
United States
06/15/2012 01:15 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
MKULTRA and Super Soldier programs...only the strong survive,the weak dont evolve...

Last Edited by T Ceti H.C. Radnarg on 06/15/2012 01:17 AM
How unfortunate for some rulers when men,women,and children continue to think... Keep repeating the lies loud enough and long enough and just maybe the people will start to believe the lies again and good luck with that...finding your energy open until mars becomes raging aries...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17921757
United States
06/15/2012 01:29 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
Grew up with a narcissistic self obsessed mother and an abusive alcoholic father. Was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 4 til 12, at which point I stopped it myself by telling him if he ever touched me again I was going to sneak into his room while he was alseep, take a razor blade and open him up like a Christmas turkey. I finally told my mother about the abuse when I was 47 years old. She called me a liar and said that my grandfather wouldn't EVER do that to one of HER kids. Case closed.

My mother took me to see "The Exorcist" when I was 11. I had HORRIBLE nightmares for years.

My father used to tell me all the time I was ugly and stupid. Once took a school picture of mine and taped it to the back fence. I asked him why. He said "To scare away the crows"...and laughed.

Was thrown off my horse when I was 12. Alone in the woods with just the horse and me. The horse's leg was tangled in barbed wire. I had to lay across his neck and bite his ear to make him be still so I could get his leg loose. It was a bloody mess. I got a concussion when he threw his head and hit me under the eye with the side of his bit. Finally made it home and my dad screamed at me that if I didn't know how to take care of the horse he was going to get rid of it. Sold it the next week. That horse was my only friend.

There are alot of others, but you get the point...

I choose not to remain a victim....but sometimes the memories flood back and it's hard not to pull your hair and whimper like a whipped dog.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17921757


verysad

I wish I could go back in time and rescue you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9540311


THanks. I wish you could too. Growing up knowing that no one has your back tends to fuck you up. I still don't trust ANYBODY. I know I'm damaged. I've accepted that. My husband has been a lifesaver. He's helped me heal maybe 85%. Love really can work miracles.
LiT

User ID: 17911579
United States
06/15/2012 01:43 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I ran into a window when I was five. Caused serious nerve damage so I can't open my right hand.

I often joke about being left handed living in a right handed world.

But, like some other poster said... people have a lot of traumatic experiences.

I think this one troubles me the most because I went through life never thinking it affected me until my second year in college studying medicine... and realizing, "holy shit, i can't be a fucking doctor."

I dropped out and haven't been back since.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17921757
United States
06/15/2012 01:50 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: What is your childhood trauma?
I ran into a window when I was five. Caused serious nerve damage so I can't open my right hand.

I often joke about being left handed living in a right handed world.

But, like some other poster said... people have a lot of traumatic experiences.

I think this one troubles me the most because I went through life never thinking it affected me until my second year in college studying medicine... and realizing, "holy shit, i can't be a fucking doctor."

I dropped out and haven't been back since.
 Quoting: LiT


That sucks. Sorry for your loss. I'm left handed too. I HATED laying my arm across the spiral. Gnomesayin??

News