Grew up with a narcissistic self obsessed mother and an abusive alcoholic father. Was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 4 til 12, at which point I stopped it myself by telling him if he ever touched me again I was going to sneak into his room while he was alseep, take a razor blade and open him up like a Christmas turkey. I finally told my mother about the abuse when I was 47 years old. She called me a liar and said that my grandfather wouldn't EVER do that to one of HER kids. Case closed.

My mother took me to see "The Exorcist" when I was 11. I had HORRIBLE nightmares for years.

My father used to tell me all the time I was ugly and stupid. Once took a school picture of mine and taped it to the back fence. I asked him why. He said "To scare away the crows"...and laughed.

Was thrown off my horse when I was 12. Alone in the woods with just the horse and me. The horse's leg was tangled in barbed wire. I had to lay across his neck and bite his ear to make him be still so I could get his leg loose. It was a bloody mess. I got a concussion when he threw his head and hit me under the eye with the side of his bit. Finally made it home and my dad screamed at me that if I didn't know how to take care of the horse he was going to get rid of it. Sold it the next week. That horse was my only friend.

There are alot of others, but you get the point...

I choose not to remain a victim....but sometimes the memories flood back and it's hard not to pull your hair and whimper like a whipped dog.