I have from ocassional intense penis pain to anorgasmia, going trough ocassional intestinal pain, food undigested in stools, stunt growth (but im not a dwarf either lol), very underweight, keep losing weight (scary symptom), eczema WITH SCURF in my eyebrow and nose sides(imagine having DANDRUFF in your face!!), chronic fatigue, social phobia and anhedonia, depression, OCD (mainly crazy thoughs popping out constantly), addictions, Asperger Syndrome, memory problems, gum disease and moar...
My cousin sexually abused me (not much and only two times, well, thats what I remember...) and my father beated me up as a child violentely a few times. My first love with relationship cheated me and the pain was very deep even though we didnt have such a deep relationship... I dont know im kind of super-sensitive I guess, I never understood why it hurted me so much if we really didnt worked out as partners. Makes no sense but everytime she told me about breaking or about how it was not working I would feel a physical stroke/stab in my heart. Really intense, the psychosomatic thing in me.
Once I was playing a game, 2 worlds, crappy RPG and all of a sudden the whole screen of the computer was ocupied by an amplified human eye that blinked. Then it returned to the game like nothing. Other day I woke up at 5 AM and felt an entity lying down near to me in the bed. He (the entity seemed masculine to me wtf) started to caress me in the head shoulders, nec, back and tried to embrace me. I was paralysed for a minute or so but when I could I moved to switch on the light. No one there of course. I have had nightmares in which my soul its succionated in a frantic trip until arriving a vast dark cave in which a tormented growling could be hear. In other nightmares I tried to pray but my voice was very weak or I had no voice at all. More things have happened to me that I cannot remember now.
I am positive I have been channeled by demons/archons to do a lot of negative or dark poems and drawings. Especially I used to be obsessed with drawing demon´s faces, I found it fascinating. Once I draw myself and I ended adding horns and a inverted pentagram to my "mask" and crying black eyes. I crushed that painting one day and threw it to the trash.
Maybe you could try to help me out... or tell me what you think its all this shit about. I want traumas out of me and move on to restore the physical problems and then have a life.