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Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero

 
writer
User ID: 1412635
United States
07/07/2012 02:09 AM
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Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
SNIPER HERO

sniper hero, the hidden man who hides and watches for danger.

1 scene, sees man at picnic table in park about to kill himself with a gun. As man points pistol towards his mouth, sniper hero shoots the man's hand causing the gun to drop. sniper hero is done here, he won't call an ambulance for the damaged-handed man,
for he must go on to save other. maybe the guy at the picnic table will try again with his 1 good hand, who knows or cares.

*about sniper hero, he escaped from a lab that did experiments on trying to create a superhuman. not much backstory except that he has an extremely uncannily steady hand, and certain drugs and implants have made his mind work much much faster, but only in intense life-threatening situations.

2 scene, peering through scope at grocery store, sees kid slip on wet floor from mopping, falling back about to slam his kid head onto a hard marble floor. sniper hero shoots the kids right ankle, causing his lower body to spin crazily like a windmill, thus redirecting the force from a headslam, to just a wounded kid being spun into cereal boxes.

*about sniper hero's perception. when in an intense scenario, time slows down for him as if he is the horrible actor keanu in the matrix. adapted to video, this would be a necessary special effect to create the action scenes where he must react quickly.

due to recent events, the media has learned through a mole in the police force, that there is a rogue shooter who is getting sick kicks off of harming people, not fatally, but dangerously and in a humiliating way.

the whole joke about sniper hero is that he almost always has to injure the person he's trying to save, yet he is mistaken by the public as a cruel villain.

3 scene, drunk driver about to hit a guy on a bicycle. sniper hero shoots out the drunk driver's tires. driver skids away from biker but now he's aimed at a puppy. quickly, sniper hero rethinks new situation and decides to shoot the tip of the puppy's tail, causing it to shriek. but it only moves to the left a bit. frustrated, sniper hero again quickly rethinks the situation, sees a guy sitting on a bench, who's foot is right next to the puppy. sniper hero shoot man's knee cap causing reaction to kick. the puppy is kicked hard, and with a yelp, flails through the air out of harms way. the drunk driver crashes into some bushes and everything is ok. some old lady in the background screams, "my bushes!"

4 scene, sniper hero is scouting out a restaurant, why? who knows. a man of heavier stature gobbles down his pork and corn too fast, and begins choking. before a qualified heimlich maneuver douche runs to the scene to save him, sniper hero shoots a hole in the man's throat, effectively giving him a tracheotomy. with the food parts still lodged somewhere in his fat neck, he is just able to breathe through the crude woundhole. although saved, there were better options here. bad call snipero.

5 scene, sniper hero is distraught from his last heroic endeavor. he is questioning his purpose and identity. he decides to put the gun down and pick up a bow and arrow. as soon as he does this, he realizes he was never trained for any such thing. so he goes to a river and throws the bow and arrow away. as he watches the carved woodstuff float on, he discovers some pretty mushrooms near a large tree trunk in the shade. since he is obviously hungry, and trying to deal with some serious shit from recent events, he seeks guidance from a higher power, as well as stomach fullness. he eats them feverishly.

6 scene, sitting like a yogi, sniper hero awaits his vision. he starts to feel a sharp pain in his right side. he thinks it might be his liver, and he's right. thinking he had eaten shamanic spirit food, he had actually ingested a poisonous variety of the mysterious fungus. he rushed himself to the hospital by running really far for a really long time, and just in time.

7 scene, hero of snipers wakes on a hospital bed with his mother staring deeply into his now opened eyes. She whoops and hollers at him in joy. he smiles, but as soon as he does, she slaps him hard across his pallid face. a doctor grabs her forcefully, and this triggers sniper hero's killer instinct. he lines up his sights and takes aim. but wait, he has no gun. the doctor and his mum forget the altercation and look at him, surprised. he realizes his ridiculous pose without a gun has irked them, so he slyly moves his hands behind his head, as if to relax nonchalantly, and purposefully all along.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19097287
Mexico
07/07/2012 02:13 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
clappa
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18255097
Australia
07/07/2012 02:14 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
i didnt read it but laughed at the title "sniper hero"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1585965
United States
07/07/2012 02:17 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
Awesome OP, get drunk again, I need to hear more about Sniper hero.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1585965
United States
07/07/2012 02:17 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
bumpbumpbump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9520353
United States
07/07/2012 02:41 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
cheersapplausecheer
strange fellow

User ID: 18627404
United Kingdom
07/07/2012 03:42 AM

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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
Awesome OP, get drunk again, I need to hear more about Sniper hero.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1585965

Read a book- Dumbass
 Quoting: Alex A Madison

"If I have to lose one of my senses, let it be my sense of impending doom."
 Quoting: Raving Lunatic 0


1984 was NOT meant as an Instruction Manual
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1585965
United States
07/07/2012 06:05 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
Awesome OP, get drunk again, I need to hear more about Sniper hero.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1585965

 Quoting: strange fellow


bushfing
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1412635
United States
07/07/2012 10:36 PM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
Thanks for the surprising compliments. I thought everyone would hate it, haha. I wrote a little more last night, but I might scrap it because I don't think I was drunk enough. Maybe I'll add some stuff later.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1412635
United States
07/09/2012 02:37 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
8 scene, after tension, confusion, and a long odd silence, everyone in the hospital room settles to a nice calm state. little baby sniper hero's looks to his mommy and she smiles at him coyly. she then said, without even moving her lips, "you know this is just a dream right?"

9 scene, sniper flashes awake, and sees before him skies and clouds. out of his peripheral he senses a shimmer. he looks over and sees water, lots and lots of beautiful blue and silver water. he sat up on the log he was resting on, floating in the middle of a lake. "damn," he said, "those were some strong fungi." he rubs he sore head as he gazes up at the moon.

10 scene, in the morning, sniper hero marched for miles through the wilderness before he could even find his stupid gun. as soon as did, he had to run as fast as he could, like and old fat cougar, until he finally found a road, because he's in a hurry. the first car came winding down the paved path, so sniper hero shoots the back window and jumps in. the man driving is startled beyond peeing himself, but before he can even think, siper hero yells, "don't worry i'm a good guy! stope your car and let me drive! you can come along if you'd like, but there will be vast danger!" the man driving thinks a second, then suddenly opens his door and jumps out. he tumbles like a weed on the side of the road. sniper hero jumps into front driver seat and goes even faster than before, because he's in a hurry.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1412635
United States
07/09/2012 03:02 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
11 scene, sniper hereo speeds down teh roads until he finds traffic. he pulls in front of another car on the road to slow it down to stop. he jumped out his own car (yeah past tense now) and ran to the car he just stopped. "hey!" sniper hero yelled. "your car is faster than mine! give it to me or i'll tell everyone you ruined my destiny!" The lady was freaked and rightfully swapped positions with sniper hero. sniper hero yelled "sorry!" out his window as he drove away from the stranded woman.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1412635
United States
07/09/2012 03:05 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
12 scene, after some identity fraud, theft, and grand larceny, sniper hero was bathed, fed, and energized towards his true purpose once again. he sat atop the rooftop, gazing through his scope, seeking danger.

*about sniper hero. it can take hours beyond hours for him to even find a life-threatening debacle that he can instill his protective intervention upon.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1412635
United States
07/09/2012 03:23 AM
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Re: Silly story I wrote while drunk - Sniper Hero
13 scene, sniper hero peers intently through his scope, and wants (yea present) to find something, anything. Where is the crime? human against human violence? what must he save? where is teh danger?

all these thoughts zoomed and raced through his feeble and worn head, as he contemplated, "why am i here?"

That contemplation could not be overridden by his other predominant clockwork routine thoughts.

sniper hero's mind was deep and scary. he's a firecracker without a fuse. nothing can set him off, but he still has all this potential energy inside of him.

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