Yes. I for one am terrified at the very thought of the president notifying me of a national emergency. Let everyone else know to take cover, I will face the emergency with diligent unawareness, hiding behind my cases of Bison Chili and 2000 rolls of TP.

If a national emergency is about to hit, we should all figure it out ourselves, two days later, through word of mouth, church services and the vetting of who is an true, honest patriot. We will gather without electricity in town halls and find out if anyone from the next town over got word from Cheyenne what to do next.

We do NOT want to hear it in advance from some black man across on the other end of the country! It should come from a white guy, on his horse, tipping his hat as he enters our town, after we scrutinize him with guns drawn and he proves his worthiness through a trial of good ol' country wits. Only then will we begin picking up the pieces. Until then, it's 2 at a time on 12-hour shifts at the entryway, 3 shifts per week, firing at any riff-raff that dares come our way without a good reason and something to barter.