i would love to hear about my past lives. do you have any insight?
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19544324


You stand beside the water, looking out across it. A tugboat chugs heavily down the river with the huge steamer behind it. Although you chafe at the delay, there is nothing you can do. Like everyone with tickets down the river, you must wait.

The hours pass slowly, the heat oppressive and the jungle sounds around you raucous and frightening. You pace until your legs are exhausted. You are older now, and you don't have the physical energy you once had. So you wait without patience since your granddaughter will be having her first child soon.

As a missionary in the depths of the Congo, you have had little contact with the outside world. So once the letter reached you, it was already many months after it had been sent--and that a few months after they knew.

Finally, the wait is over, though, and you board the ship. It steams out into the open waters and you set off for the Americas. By the time you reach your family, you are quite ill. You expected to come home to them and enjoy their company, but instead you have arrived with a high fever and abject misery plaguing your very existence.

Delirium sets in, but you have periods of lucidity. During one of these, you are told that your family has become ill as well. Whatever you are sick with has passed on to them. The baby has died already.

The sense that you have killed your family, that it is all your fault, that you should never have come home pervades your illness. It is already overwhelming, but you overhear the doctor speaking to someone--you know not whom--and saying that the town is under quarantine and many are ill.

The feeling of regret, shame, and guilt swamps you. You begin to regret your entire existence. If only you hadn't gone to Africa. If only you hadn't come back. If only, if only...

I invite you now to recognize on a deep level that not everything is your fault. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we may not understand them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we are at fault for it. Sometimes life is just hard.








this is me. i've always had some sort of anxiety around babies, that past life somewhat makes sense. i do have strong connections to certain sports and music, would there be any past lives dealing with such things?

i guess the main thing i should take from this is that not everything bad that happens is my fault. sometimes life just sucks. I am hoping for good things to happen now.

thanks again for the reading sandy.