That Which Once Was: Past Lives

i would love to hear about my past lives. do you have any insight?
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19544324


You stand beside the water, looking out across it. A tugboat chugs heavily down the river with the huge steamer behind it. Although you chafe at the delay, there is nothing you can do. Like everyone with tickets down the river, you must wait.

The hours pass slowly, the heat oppressive and the jungle sounds around you raucous and frightening. You pace until your legs are exhausted. You are older now, and you don't have the physical energy you once had. So you wait without patience since your granddaughter will be having her first child soon.

As a missionary in the depths of the Congo, you have had little contact with the outside world. So once the letter reached you, it was already many months after it had been sent--and that a few months after they knew.

Finally, the wait is over, though, and you board the ship. It steams out into the open waters and you set off for the Americas. By the time you reach your family, you are quite ill. You expected to come home to them and enjoy their company, but instead you have arrived with a high fever and abject misery plaguing your very existence.

Delirium sets in, but you have periods of lucidity. During one of these, you are told that your family has become ill as well. Whatever you are sick with has passed on to them. The baby has died already.

The sense that you have killed your family, that it is all your fault, that you should never have come home pervades your illness. It is already overwhelming, but you overhear the doctor speaking to someone--you know not whom--and saying that the town is under quarantine and many are ill.

The feeling of regret, shame, and guilt swamps you. You begin to regret your entire existence. If only you hadn't gone to Africa. If only you hadn't come back. If only, if only...

I invite you now to recognize on a deep level that not everything is your fault. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we may not understand them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we are at fault for it. Sometimes life is just hard.








this is me. i've always had some sort of anxiety around babies, that past life somewhat makes sense. i do have strong connections to certain sports and music, would there be any past lives dealing with such things?

i guess the main thing i should take from this is that not everything bad that happens is my fault. sometimes life just sucks. I am hoping for good things to happen now.

thanks again for the reading sandy.

I've been interested in my past lives for sometime now. I have some 'feelings' as to one in particular. Any insight would be most welcome.
\\

PJ

my partner read it and i think you hit something here

you have a gift!

much appreciation for the time and effort!! much appreciation for the words of encouragement because we are both going thru a very tough time!

big hugs

If you have time I would like a reading. Thanks!

So killings, wars and so on is good? Bcoz you see wars, assassins and so on..

Oh my dream girl. Rowr. Do you liked it?

Hi Sandi! I'm from page 11, but I was wondering if giving you a bit more info helps..I was born the 7th month, 17th day..

I hope your fine and all is well! Thanku for your work and time with these readings! Blessings!

Hi ! can you tell me mine :) ?

In some places, they call it the 'two step mamba'. It's not a dance... it's a serpent. A person gets bitten, takes two steps, and is paralyzed, dying an agonizing death. It is this black death that visits you as you stumble, lost, through the brush.

You were sent on your first solo hunting trip. The purpose of it is to become a man, but you were never suited to hunting. You were locked into an expectation that you would be a hunter, that you would be a macho, powerful man. But really, your nature is very amicable. You'd much rather help the women, and you have exceptional skills in learning herbs and cooking.

But these tasks are relegated to women alone, and you must hunt. You must kill. You must... be everything that you are not, based solely upon your sexual organs. So you fled until you became lost and doubted that you could survive alone.

So you die to a serpent, never even knowing that you were bitten. You die alone, separated from everyone you love, and feeling like an utter failure. You could not do the things you were good at, and you couldn't be good at the things demanded of you. You were, in your mind, born wrong.

I invite you to meet life the way it is. To seize the day according to what's in your heart, rather than according to the expectations of others. I invite you to accept yourself unconditionally. If you don't, no one else will ever have opportunity to do so; for no one can see what you refuse to show them.

Pretending to be someone you aren't means never being loved for the things that you hide... the things that make you, you.



A simple little cottage in Japan. Your family has lived here for generations. In the beginning, it was far away from all civilization. But 'progress' has encroached over time, and the inevitable clash has begun. This beautiful land has taken the interest of the Emperor, unbeknownst to you and yours.

You are in the fields when they come. The soldiers on their horses, riding up to your family as you laugh and work and play together there. Shading your eyes, you call out to your husband. He arrives beside you, smiling and bowing and greeting the soldiers.

"You must pack up your things and leave by order of the Emperor," they greet him, without even the simplest courtesies such as bowing back or hailing him.

"But this is our land," your husband stutters. "We have lived here for generations."

"So you refuse to leave?" one of them asks, and you see a very ugly smile on his face. You duck behind your husband as the rest of your family begins to gather.

"This is our land," your grandfather says, leaning heavily on his walking stick. "You can't just take it from us! Where would we go? What would we do?"

"That is your own concern," one of the other solders says. "You must leave, and you must do it immediately."

You tug on your husband's arm. "Let us flee," you beg him.

He ignores you, and again refuses. The ugly smile on the soldier's face gets worse. You fight the urge to flee, but only for a few minutes. Their swords come out and the soldiers jump down, running your husband through without hesitation.

You turn and run, but you are captured quickly and tortured for days as you are dragged back to the capital and used for their pleasure. As is your daughter, far too young for such treatment. You are sold as a slave, but you have been so mistreated that no one will buy you. You watch your daughter be sold and then you are killed.

I invite you to see that you do not need to be afraid, for although there is darkness in the world, there is great light also. While there are things to fear, there are people who love each other and who will even die to protect each other [and you].

Do not be afraid, for fear destroys life and prevents action. Nothing can get better while you are afraid, because fear degrades the body, traps the mind, and devours hope. There is much good in the world, but you must look for it in order to see it. Drowning yourself in darkness does not bring peace.

Nor must you be over-informed. While knowing what is happening in some situations is important, seeking out terrible news and terrifying yourself is not beneficial to your life in any way. You can do nothing to alleviate the suffering, you can only add to your own.



Acts of kindness are the poetry of the soul. Acts of love are the poetry of the cosmos.

First, to address the side issues... your mother and your mother in law were once married, and the vow given was "I will never let anyone hurt you". Of course, this is impossible. And resentment comes as much because often, by human nature itself, we are often the one who does the hurting. To vow no one will ever hurt her, and then to hurt her, himself... quite the recipe for a bad marriage!

Yes, you and your mother have some things to work out. But you forgave in the moment. You can always choose to hold onto forgiveness, if you so desire. Especially for the present factors.

* * * * * *

Yukon Gold. It's all the rage these days... going into the frigid landscape to recover gold. Most are going panning for it, but not you. No, you're smarter than they are.

You see, you figure it this way... if there's gold in them there streams, then it's gotta be comin' from summere... and you mean to go straight to the source.

You gather up a dog team, hire some 'locals', and set out. If this doesn't 'pan out', though [and yes, that's the source of the old saying], then you're up the proverbial paddle-less creek. But you're confident, and you're certain.

All that gold? It's coming from somewhere.

You set out and reach your destination. You've lost several dogs and your 'local guides' turned out to be... not so local. Just greedy. But you put them to work and it's several long, painful months before you find it...

Sure as hell, you strike gold. And you don't do it in a small way. No siree. You strike a rich, thick vein of it. You'll never be hungry or cold again.

Of you go to town, but in these parts, you have one major failing... you don't kill your non-local guides. Everybody else would have, but you have this basic idea that they're decent folk who just want to make a living.

They don't return your favor. Not at all... they conspire together and kill you in your sleep, stealing that underlying sense that humanity is basically decent, if given a chance to be. They take more than your gold vein, they take your life, your pride and dignity, and your faith in some higher order within humanity.

Gone is that simple belief that people will do their best if offered trust. Gone is the belief that you can make it in the world. Gone is the hope that you can spend the rest of your days peacefully and with joy and comfort.

I invite you to remember that you are here out of love. No matter the evil that men conceive and perpetrate upon each other and themselves, there IS still a core of goodness in all of us. For, spiritually speaking, everyone comes here out of love. Even those whose love seems so far buried as to be nonexistent.

Each life is precious, but the soul is the ultimate worth of any person. Great or small. Good or evil. And ALL SOULS are good.

I don't encourage you to be foolish in an attempt to show trust, however. Forgive the thief, but don't invite him back into the house to steal again... most souls still have their karmic overlays, and can act like fucking idiots!



Haven't read it, I'm afraid. I've heard of it, though. :)

* * * *

Switzerland, long before it was ever called Switzerland... long before it was invaded, long before it considered neutrality...

You're sitting outside at the fire pit. The neighbors are over, and you've gotten out the special herbs [ganga, man! Kidding, kidding]. There's a very celebratory and peaceful atmosphere. The day has drawn to a close and darkness has fallen.

Overhead, the moon is heavy and close. The stars are bright, and the aurora that your people have become used to hangs overhead, lighting the darkness with beautiful colors.

But you're not alone, though you are unaware of it. Under cover of darkness, demons emerge from the darkness. Painted faces, they make long, high ululating sounds. You know this art of warcraft, for your people engage in it as well.

You've never seen this sort of man before, though. They are dark of skin, their paint stark against their natural darkness that blends into the night around them. They approached like mist, and attack like demons. Moors. What are they doing so very far from home?

You take up arms, far too late.

Yet everything stops suddenly. It is as if the world has sucked in a great breath and held it. In the midst of chaos comes a silence so profound that it is almost terrifying in and of itself.

Every eye, friend and foe alike, turns to the sky. From the midst of the aurora comes fire from heaven. It rains down in clumps, burning everything it touches. The strange men turn to flee. You see one of them struck by a flaming rock, and he explodes on impact, the rock cutting through him and leaving charred stumps behind--all that remains of him are smoking legs.

In the pandemonium, you see your wife, with your youngest in her arms. Weeping, she is fleeing, her clothing leaving no doubt as to what was interrupted by the coming of the fires from above. You rush towards her, but stand in shock and horror as she and your baby are thrown several feet by the impact of another flaming boulder.

Meteors, if you knew what to call them. But you don't.

All you know is that everyone around you is dying. It is the most unreal, yet cruelly real day of your life. You are numb and in shock, unable to process everything going on around you. As if you are stuck in clay or mud... barely able to move and unable to think.

You don't know what to do. Flee? Fight? You are gripped by helplessness and uncertainty. Panic settles in moments before you die to the meteor you never saw coming.

I invite you to remember that, while the world is unpredictable and perhaps frightening, everything happens for a reason. There is but one destination for all of us... death. And beyond death is love eternal. The world may be scary, and people may be strange... but when you go Home, you will know only love.

All are safe, for all are souls. You have a body, you ARE a soul. And it is magnificent!

I'm sorry, I don't have time for more than this. The Comcraptic stuff is supposed.... to come today. Supposed to be here friday, oops, they screwed up, it'll be monday... suuuure.

Anyway, no more time than that.

Hopefully later. *crosses fingers*

Oh Sandi thank you so much. I have been traveling thru airports this weekend and you kept popping into my mind. I imagined sitting in this airport now and opening my laptop and finding my story. And here it is - just fascinating to read. I smiled at the first paragraph because I'm always inviting people over, and love to entertain.

Yes indeed the world can be/has been unpredictable and frightening at times (I've learned not to take anything for granted), but I've never feared death - a blessing my mother passed on to me - only the emotion that must sometimes be endured.

Again thank you so much, special lady, giving so much of your time to us all.

:FanFlower:

Bumper.

Just found this thread...I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Any word for me?
Thanks
tjay

and love

When it is my turn, I'd love a reading.

Thank you.

Thank you for this Sandi. It's a bit disturbing, but I appreciate it. Any idea as to what era in history this was? What country? I know you have a lot of catching up to do, so no sweat if you don't have time to answer.

Okay, so I am back online now! I'm still in the midst of a promo week for my regular job... but I will be doing a reading here and there as I can. And I'll try to catch up with some questions/comments as I can, too. But of course, busy despite having the 'net back is kind of the word of the night.





But I HAZ INTARWEBZ!!

glad to see you back online, sandi! when you have a moment, i'd very much like to know what you can pick up on me - thanks very much from canada! cheers ~

3rd Dynasty

WB Sandi and thank you for doing this. It has been amazing to read and see the responses. When you have a moment I am curious if you can also see the future. from reading what you have written it seems each soul comes back to clear up a past life misunderstanding. In other words to not let the emotions they developed from then to influence how they are now. It also seems your state of mind at death is important. If you can see things for what they are but carry no blame or anger then what you learned might not have to be learned and overcome in this life. I also wonder does each soul come back with a mission a purpose, and how do you know if you are on it

Thanks for taking the time to share this. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I thought that there would be something that would help guide me, or give me a clue as to what I'm doing here. I couldn't figure it out at first (I can be slow). If there was a lesson to learn from my past life, I'm still missing it. I'm very trusting, loving and I really do believe in goodness being in all.

After meditating on it, I do feel reassured knowing that I can be murdered in one life and still be trusting and loving in another. I feel that I am on the right path, and that is a great feeling... thank you!

Last Edited by KindaDistorted on 08/01/2012 01:19 PM

I see the future, but rarely. It's very unpredictable and not under my control. Unlike this, which is kind of always active and more something that just sits in the back of my mind, that comes when it wants to, and in the way it wants to.

The reason we come here is to Complete God. There is no need to come here to clear things up... these things are simply setups for experiences here.

It's like saying that you go to the fair to ride the Ferris Wheel. The Ferris Wheel is incidental to HAVING FUN. Part of having fun for you might be riding the Ferris Wheel, but the final purpose is having fun.

The only real purpose here is to experience. Everything else is incidental to that final requirement.

There is no real mission or purpose, precisely, except to be here and be human.

That being said, there are opportunities to increase the amount of love and peace and joy there is in your own life, in the lives of those you love, and in the world. This 'secondary' purpose can be met by anyone who has the 'calling' [the setup, the preparation, whatever you want to call it]. However, there are always 'first choice' individuals for opportunities.

I am the 'first choice' for what I am doing here, and what will come of it. But I can 'abdicate' and choose not to do it... someone else will step up. Because the need for someone to bring people reassurance and release is too vital for it to be left to a single person's free will.

It's difficult for me to explain, but ultimately, it means that many people could have done this, but I am uniquely placed to be 'the best at it', and it would take the least spiritual juggling if I took it on instead of someone else.

But there are not so many people with such callings. For the most part, the greatest value you can bring to the world is to love.

When you love, you experience the love that you let flow through you... and thus you Know God.

That is the greatest calling within the fundamental calling. Exist, be human; your highest calling. But beyond that, the greatest is to love and bring love forth into the world.

Sometimes, there is no need for clearance, only for validation.

It is a great honor to be allowed to offer that validation. Thank you.

I'm sorry, I did not express the end well. The statement is not about fearing death, it is about the pain of seeing others suffer. For some of us, such is terrible agony. It's important to remember that 'everything happens for a reason' and that 'it's better at Home' aren't just cliches nor empty words.

They are part of the Universal requirement. Is a lion who kills an antelope evil?

Don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm saying they're good. I'm not saying that. However, without them, all things would come undone. Better wars, or total annihilation? Better assassinations, or all children [and everything else] obliterated because the Paradox must come undone?

These things are terrible, but that's because God is a Paradox that must be solved by experiencing the terrible--as well as the good.

Knowingly choosing evil, however, is self-destructive and takes you away from God; for God is only love.

I don't know. I can only tell you as much as I understand from what I see. As a lay person with little scientific training, I don't really understand what I'm seeing. Some small bits of understanding come with it, but mostly, it's visual.

But yes, that's how pyramids were built. The molecules of the stones are 'sped up' with subsonic sound, until they become weightless... almost like turning them into a gas, without changing their density...

Again, how do I explain something I don't understand? That's the best I can do.

Very true!

Yes, I think that God's definitely speaking to you about the addiction. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me approaching the addiction issue head-on. Please do start going to some meetings. It will help. We aren't meant to face everything alone.