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New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...

 
Doom Lover
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07/11/2012 02:10 PM
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New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
The Department of Homeland Security will soon be using a laser at airports that can detect everything about you from over 160-feet away.

Gizmodo reports a scanner that could read people at the molecular level has been invented. This laser-based scanner – which can be used 164-feet away — could read everything from a person’s adrenaline levels, to traces of gun powder on a person’s clothes, to illegal substances — and it can all be done without a physical search. It also could be used on multiple people at a time, eliminating random searches at airports.

The laser-based scanner is expected to be used in airports as soon as 2013, Gizmodo reports.

[link to washington.cbslocal.com]
YaRight

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07/11/2012 02:12 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
It just gets crazier and crazier
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 02:16 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
wow, amazing.
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 02:18 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Maybe they just want to catch people that have just eaten someone's face? LOL!
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07/11/2012 02:19 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
OR...I could fart and they could tell what I had for dinner...

spock
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Doom Lover (OP)

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07/11/2012 02:22 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
If you smoke a blunt on way to airport or take a bump of your drug of choice, you better be sketched out!!! Don't wipe hands on your shirt! Don't panic!
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 02:24 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That's pretty badass.
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 02:35 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That's pretty badass.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18665062


imagine the doom when they discover everything scanned by these scanners will die within a year.





ahhhahhhahhh
Doom Lover (OP)

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07/11/2012 02:46 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
bump
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 02:48 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
they REALLY don't like the 4th amendment do they?!
Doom Lover (OP)

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07/11/2012 03:43 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Maybe they just want to catch people that have just eaten someone's face? LOL!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1319430


zombies
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 03:57 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
wow...that is fucking amazing.
Apocalypse Troll
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07/11/2012 04:00 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Only a matter of time before this is installed in the lobby of your employer, on the freeway, in every government facility...
attxflag
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Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 04:03 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Another pointless technological invention that does nothing to aid humanity. Thanks Military-Industrial-Complex!
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07/11/2012 04:03 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That reminds me, I'm taking a flight this weekend. I was going to put in some practice time at the range, maybe a hundred rounds, just before I head to the airport... just to fuck with 'em when they do the patdown. Then again, maybe I should rethink my defiance; I hear that's the e-ticket to a free colonoscopy.
astrobanner2
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07/11/2012 04:03 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
The I-phone 6 will have this ability as well.
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 04:04 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
My brownie practical joke would be the best thing to eat before going to the airport if they can see it.

Make a pan of brownies of the gooey kind. Roll them in your hands until they look like small dog turds. Swallow them whole. Leave some brownie residue on your hands and face.

Bet you could get through security quicker. LOL

I use to make these for ex, when he was being a butthead and serve them up on a plate. LOL
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Another pointless technological invention that does nothing to aid humanity. Thanks Military-Industrial-Complex!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7242673


Actually I would greatly prefer this to a patdown. In fact, I'd also prefer this to the nudy-scan.
astrobanner2
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07/11/2012 04:06 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That's pretty badass.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18665062


imagine the doom when they discover everything scanned by these scanners will die within a year.





ahhhahhhahhh
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19561739


Stay home or drive to your destination.
Being Mindful

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07/11/2012 04:09 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
They truly need to think of ways to bring that money in don't they?

Oh my goodness what will they think of next???
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Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 04:12 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
[link to www.youtube.com]
Spitting Into The Wind

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07/11/2012 04:20 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
What would happen if I glued Fritos to the inside of my shirt?
ScrumpTheTexan
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07/11/2012 04:26 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
What would happen if I glued Fritos to the inside of my shirt?
 Quoting: Spitting Into The Wind


Your nipples would smell of salt & grease... and you'd be attacked by a hungry Sasquatch if you got within scent-range.

ghettofabama
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SickOfItAll

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07/11/2012 04:27 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
The Department of Homeland Security will soon be using a laser at airports that can detect everything about you from over 160-feet away.

Gizmodo reports a scanner that could read people at the molecular level has been invented. This laser-based scanner – which can be used 164-feet away — could read everything from a person’s adrenaline levels, to traces of gun powder on a person’s clothes, to illegal substances — and it can all be done without a physical search. It also could be used on multiple people at a time, eliminating random searches at airports.

The laser-based scanner is expected to be used in airports as soon as 2013, Gizmodo reports.

[link to washington.cbslocal.com]
 Quoting: Doom Lover


They can use this technology for predictive turd burgeling. Point and shoot poop predictions.
Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 04:29 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That reminds me, I'm taking a flight this weekend. I was going to put in some practice time at the range, maybe a hundred rounds, just before I head to the airport... just to fuck with 'em when they do the patdown. Then again, maybe I should rethink my defiance; I hear that's the e-ticket to a free colonoscopy.
 Quoting: Astromut


share the wealth...
just take some gunpowder with you and dump it out at the entrance, colonoscopy free for all!
AstromutModerator
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07/11/2012 04:37 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That reminds me, I'm taking a flight this weekend. I was going to put in some practice time at the range, maybe a hundred rounds, just before I head to the airport... just to fuck with 'em when they do the patdown. Then again, maybe I should rethink my defiance; I hear that's the e-ticket to a free colonoscopy.
 Quoting: Astromut


share the wealth...
just take some gunpowder with you and dump it out at the entrance, colonoscopy free for all!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 554016


LOL! That's terrible. Though I think it'd be more effective to let some accidentally fall out of your back pocket and smear it around as you sit on various seats around the lobby and food courts...
astrobanner2
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07/11/2012 04:45 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
That's pretty concerning. To detect properties at the molecular level with lasers, you need a very short wavelength. More ionizing radiation for the masses.
pool
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07/11/2012 04:47 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Gun powder is not illegal. wtf
"The earth is mother of us all, for she is just; but you, because you are unjust have pretended that she is your mother alone; and if you do not stop, I will not permit you to remain upon her."

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Anonymous Coward
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07/11/2012 04:49 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Why does everything always have to be about the USA? I am sure the UK has created neat stuff or even Canada or Mexico. Why does it seem like all the inventions happen in the USA?
AstromutModerator
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07/11/2012 04:51 PM

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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
Gun powder is not illegal. wtf
 Quoting: pool


No, it's not, but if they find traces of it on you then they're going to search really hard for any explosives you might be carrying. Hence the free colonoscopy.
astrobanner2
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07/11/2012 04:51 PM
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Re: New 'Homeland Security' Laser Can Detect Adrenaline Levels, What People Ate For Breakfast From 160 Feet Away...
hiding
"Make the journey more powerful than the destination"--Pat Tillman

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