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Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2219053
Australia
09/30/2012 05:46 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Top tip# 87: a hobo's dick cheese can add zing to an otherwise bland tasting pizza.

Thanks for this thread guys, I LOLd hard :-D
Displaced-Dago
User ID: 26037588
United States
10/21/2012 06:19 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
It is rather easy and cheap to prepare a decent home made pizza, it is after all just a peasant food snack.

2 1/4 teaspoons of yeast
1 1/4 cup warm water 110-120 degrees
3 1/2 cups sifted flour
1/2 teaspoons of salt
pinch of sugar

Add yeast to a container of your warm water, pinch of sugar to super activate the yeast, stir.
Prepare your flour, sift in a large bowl, add salt.
Make a well of the flour in the large bowl.
Add yeast liquid when it is activated and bubbled.
Work it together with floured hands, leave it slightly sticky.
Cover and let rise.
Transfer to floured surface, kneed, let rise until doubled.
Kneed again.
Your dough is ready.

*
If you are American spread your dough over a pan, pre-bake for a few minutes at 450 degrees especially if you are an American and add all kinds of random crap to your pizza. You need to add structure to your crust so it can hold all your random crap topping.

*
Some add crushed and dried oregano to the dry dough mixture, others add beer in place of the water.
Both are excellent.
The beer dough creates a stiffer flakier and chewy crust.

*
If you do want a pan style deep dish pizza, proof your dough in a covered container after initial rising overnight in your cooler. You will notice it is full of bubbles.
Spread as normal, it will bake thick, chewy and very good.

For sauce, crush your tomatoes, add basil. Nice and chunky.
For cheese, white cheese only! Do not over do it.
For toppings I prefer sliced mushrooms, roasted garlic and olives.
Drizzle some olive oil over the top.

Bake in a very hot oven 450 degrees - 500 for 8 minutes or until it is slightly brown along edges, not crispy, not doughy but chewy.
Serve with a nice tossed green salad of real greens, not lettuce but spinach, some ricotta cheese, wine vinaigrette.

Simplicity is the key. Even with a peasant snack food it is important to have some semblance of tradition.

Ketchup over toasted French bread with Velveeta and hot dogs?
Might as well kill yourself!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7570540
United States
10/21/2012 06:29 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Old thread, I know, but I couldn't help replying. Pizza is one of the worst foods a person can eat. I don't care what color the cheese. Wheat flour for the crust (wheat is not good for you to begin with let alone the bleached flour people so often use), processed meats filled with nitrates, tons of ewy gewy fatty cheese, tomato sauce which is filled with sodium. Nope, you can have that pizza.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/21/2012 06:38 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
They use Prue-made pizza mixes and slather cheap processed cheddar on pizzas, dice up hot dogs, etc.
Look at me I am a cook, I wear a bob haircut, I drive my kids to soccer practice, I listen to Christian pop-Music, I am a closet alco, I am sexually frustrated, I cannot cook.


YOU FUCKING CUNTS NEVER SHOULD USE CHEDDAR CHEESE ON PIZZA!
Make an effort and prepare your own dough, make your own pizza, use a mix of hard and soft white Italian cheeses, prepare your own sauce, toast your veggies and meats before and drain of grease.
TAKE SOME INITIATIVE YOU FUCKING AMERICAN PIG WOMAN!

Women cannot fucking cook worth shit now days, they fuck EVERYTHING UP!

"Oh god I have kids, I am so stressed out *Christian pop music playing in the background*, I never get fucked anymore, I mix random shit together and feed my 'chillens, they are grateful, I work so hard, I watch Oprah, I go to church, blah blah fucking BLAH"

Fuck you!
No short cuts bitch, make an effort!
Do something with yourself!!!
Put out something.
 Quoting: TheItalian 19561680


You better make sure your mozzarella comes from a water buffalo, else you're a fraud.
Preppermomma

User ID: 25202128
United States
10/21/2012 06:42 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
How about you make your damn pizza yourself or learn how to be gracious and grateful for the food you get, you prick!
Matthew 24:44 ESV

Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26037588
United States
10/21/2012 06:44 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Old thread, I know, but I couldn't help replying. Pizza is one of the worst foods a person can eat. I don't care what color the cheese. Wheat flour for the crust (wheat is not good for you to begin with let alone the bleached flour people so often use), processed meats filled with nitrates, tons of ewy gewy fatty cheese, tomato sauce which is filled with sodium. Nope, you can have that pizza.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7570540


It is a peasant snack food. Quite delicious if prepped accordingly as most peasant foods are.

Home grown Heirloom tomatoes, no pesticides.
Home grown mushrooms, it is quite easy.
Olive oil is one of the better fats for you, if it is organic.
The body needs certain fats if one is active or not.

The wheat we know today is not actual wheat, it is manipulated in labs. It is a hybrid of many different things.
This is why it is toxic.

Organically grown wheat is actually very nutritious.
A small amount of carbs is also necessary.

Did I mention meats? No. If meats should be used they should also be organic and free range, pre-grilled and used sparingly.
No grease involved.

Cheese? Well most of the cheeses people come across today are not real cheese but again grown in factories, plants, labs with additives.
Organic cheese. You can easily make your own as people have for thousands of years.
The same can be said for cured meats, cured as in dried, smoked, preserved naturally with herbs, minerals and smoke.

None of these things are bad for you in moderation served with fresh and organically grown greens in a salad.

People confuse food out of a box with food grown and tended by your own hands far away from labs.
Heirloom, Organic, Free-Range!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21738912
United States
10/21/2012 06:57 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
and stop putting sugar in the sauce!!!!!
 Quoting: astor


Yes. That makes it ketchup. Plus, please do not put sugar in the crust. When you add sugar to bread, that makes it cake. No sugar ( or corn syrup products) needed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1402512


I don't like sweet pizza sauce :(
 Quoting: Marax


It's a Sicilian thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19576976


^
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26037588
United States
10/21/2012 06:59 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
How about you make your damn pizza yourself or learn how to be gracious and grateful for the food you get, you prick!
 Quoting: Preppermomma


Ugh, I think OP is just pissed off about Americannots serving slop like Rachel Ray and calling it something it is not.
Be grateful for Americannot womens cooking?
You made me laugh.
You are right though, better to bake your own pizza.
The Christian Cunt Soccer Mom might accidentally drop a few of her Prozacs in the mix trying while she is chasing some of her box wine catching a high.

American women cannot cook, they are lazy.
It is that simply and on that point I agree with OP.
They are a lost cause.

You proved his point.
Preppermomma

User ID: 25202128
United States
10/21/2012 07:03 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
It is interesting men are soo angry at women all the time, yet they grovel to them. I make damn good pizza. I am just not going to give any to a man who has no manners and acts like an angry prick. Grow up.
Matthew 24:44 ESV

Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect
Alecto

User ID: 1537872
United States
10/21/2012 07:10 PM

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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
This is just another circle jerk from the I Hates Wimmin Club.
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around us in awareness. – James Thurber
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26037588
United States
10/21/2012 07:14 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
It is interesting men are soo angry at women all the time, yet they grovel to them. I make damn good pizza. I am just not going to give any to a man who has no manners and acts like an angry prick. Grow up.
 Quoting: Preppermomma


This is just another circle jerk from the I Hates Wimmin Club.
 Quoting: Alecto


Women are just upset because they know most chefs, cooks, bakers are men as are most workers.
This is true or else Americannot women would not have responded with such venom.
banana2banana2banana2
Anonymous Coward
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10/21/2012 07:19 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
"YOU FUCKING CUNTS"

Wow, take a prozac bro, its just fucking cheese. And dont like their pizzas, dont eat them, they aint your personal servants Im surs.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/22/2012 03:50 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
bump
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/23/2012 01:04 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
bump
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/02/2012 10:05 AM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
This is funny :D
juniorchubbs
User ID: 2623728
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 10:07 AM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
They use Prue-made pizza mixes and slather cheap processed cheddar on pizzas, dice up hot dogs, etc.
Look at me I am a cook, I wear a bob haircut, I drive my kids to soccer practice, I listen to Christian pop-Music, I am a closet alco, I am sexually frustrated, I cannot cook.


YOU FUCKING CUNTS NEVER SHOULD USE CHEDDAR CHEESE ON PIZZA!
Make an effort and prepare your own dough, make your own pizza, use a mix of hard and soft white Italian cheeses, prepare your own sauce, toast your veggies and meats before and drain of grease.
TAKE SOME INITIATIVE YOU FUCKING AMERICAN PIG WOMAN!

Women cannot fucking cook worth shit now days, they fuck EVERYTHING UP!

"Oh god I have kids, I am so stressed out *Christian pop music playing in the background*, I never get fucked anymore, I mix random shit together and feed my 'chillens, they are grateful, I work so hard, I watch Oprah, I go to church, blah blah fucking BLAH"

Fuck you!
No short cuts bitch, make an effort!
Do something with yourself!!!
Put out something.
 Quoting: TheItalian 19561680


jesus christ man, calm down!!!!
PCGeekLucas

User ID: 24398639
United States
11/02/2012 10:26 AM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
I thought Ike Turner was dead?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7465905


^^THIS^^
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/17/2013 05:17 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34040238
Puerto Rico
02/10/2013 01:47 AM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
LMAO pizza threads are worthy of bump
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2013 01:52 AM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Italian Soft and Hard Cheese?!?!?
The op of this thread is a narow minded cheff
Ever tasted really good Brittish Cheddar, French Brie, Dutch Emmental

Op you pizza would be BOOORING after a week!!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/19/2013 02:25 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Bwahahahah!
Italians are funny as fuck. I know, I am one.




You sommanabisha!

Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/19/2013 02:37 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
bump
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/19/2013 02:39 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
5a
cdwarior
User ID: 1564478
United States
02/19/2013 02:46 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Yellow cheese is proper for BBQ chicken pizza with sweet baby ray's sauce and red onions. Also for 'School Lunch' pizza with thick meat sauce and crust like sofa cushions. A sparse layer on top of white cheese is good for garlic pizza bread as well.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34722151
United States
02/20/2013 04:58 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Yellow cheese is proper for BBQ chicken pizza with sweet baby ray's sauce and red onions. Also for 'School Lunch' pizza with thick meat sauce and crust like sofa cushions. A sparse layer on top of white cheese is good for garlic pizza bread as well.
 Quoting: cdwarior 1564478


YELLOW CHEESE IS NEVER PROPER FOR ANY PIZZA YOU COMMUNIST PRICK!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/22/2013 06:13 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
bump
INK3

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02/22/2013 06:15 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
I like some cheddar cheese on my pizza. It is rather acceptable.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4444880


That's practically sacrilege here in NJ. Pizza should NEVER, I repeat, NEVER have cheddar cheese on it.
"When tyrants tremble in their fear, and hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near, how can I keep from singing"

page7
Anonymous Coward
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02/22/2013 06:17 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
This is one of the funnier rants I've read on here recently.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/24/2013 05:44 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
afro
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Netherlands
02/24/2013 05:53 PM
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Re: Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!
Cock cheese toppings FTW!!! Or Dutch Gouda! And soccer moms are HOT HOT HOT!!!





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