Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!

My dad's family is Sicilian and Bavarian...it is sacrilege to put American cheese on a pizza and call it a pizza.

Fresh mozzarella slices, heirloom tomatoes, fresh basil, olive oil...all you need!

I like salami over pepperoni on my pizza's.

Bah. Italians know shit about making pizza. I was actually served the single worst "pizza" I ever had in my life in Italy. Soggy with cheap oil, no cheese whatsoever (!), and a fucking empty clam shell as the only filling other than the tomato sauce!

I'd have American cheese any day (or any old cheese for that matter), rather than suffering a genuine Italian pizza again.

I've had the BEST pizza ever in Rome. Sounds like you got shitty service from a shitty restaurant. It happens.

Brilliant. Nicely fucking put OP.

TRUE TRUE TRUE and more TRUE

All you said is true wisdom and proof that cannabis induces deep intelligence to flower and grow.

Yeah!
What he said.

I got shitty service from a shitty restaurant that thought they could scam tourists with no repercussions, there's always a new tourist to scam the next day.

I've been telling people to have their vacation elsewhere ever since.

Meanwhile, I had the best tomato salad I ever ate in Spain. Just sliced tomatoes and some kind of vinaigrette sauce. I've never managed to crack the code and duplicate that tomato salad, it was out of this world!

I suggest people visit places where the locals greet you with respect and put their soul into what they do for their guests as a matter of human decency, not just try to pry your wallet open.

In my experience, Spain is just such a place, among others, Holland comes to mind too.

But Italy?

Yeah, it started great when bad weather forced the plane to land on a military airstrip, and a bunch of humorless fuckers with loaded machine guns kept their boom sticks pointed at the "dangerous" tourists at all time, with finger on the trigger.

Then you get served crap "pizza".

Sorry, Italy is a no-go zone as far as I'm concerned.

I like pizza pockets :)

the Chinese invented pizza!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

if you have ever had sex with a soccer mom
you wouldn't give a sh!t whether
she could cook or not ;)

Only on GLP.

This is one of the major problems facing our world. Yellow cheese on pizza. God help us all.

making a pizza is a pain in the ass


cheaper and easier to just order a large pie from danny's pizza around the corner.

ok, this is a pizza!

A closet alco Soccer Mom with a Bob cut takes a dump at a grocery store, on the floor that is.

And you expect quality cooking?

Can I have cheddar cheese on a soccer mum ??

Hahaha salute

um ok mr mario... no more chedder.. ok i got it now..

lmfao

Top tip# 87: a hobo's dick cheese can add zing to an otherwise bland tasting pizza.

Thanks for this thread guys, I LOLd hard :-D

It is rather easy and cheap to prepare a decent home made pizza, it is after all just a peasant food snack.

2 1/4 teaspoons of yeast
1 1/4 cup warm water 110-120 degrees
3 1/2 cups sifted flour
1/2 teaspoons of salt
pinch of sugar

Add yeast to a container of your warm water, pinch of sugar to super activate the yeast, stir.
Prepare your flour, sift in a large bowl, add salt.
Make a well of the flour in the large bowl.
Add yeast liquid when it is activated and bubbled.
Work it together with floured hands, leave it slightly sticky.
Cover and let rise.
Transfer to floured surface, kneed, let rise until doubled.
Kneed again.
Your dough is ready.

*
If you are American spread your dough over a pan, pre-bake for a few minutes at 450 degrees especially if you are an American and add all kinds of random crap to your pizza. You need to add structure to your crust so it can hold all your random crap topping.

*
Some add crushed and dried oregano to the dry dough mixture, others add beer in place of the water.
Both are excellent.
The beer dough creates a stiffer flakier and chewy crust.

*
If you do want a pan style deep dish pizza, proof your dough in a covered container after initial rising overnight in your cooler. You will notice it is full of bubbles.
Spread as normal, it will bake thick, chewy and very good.

For sauce, crush your tomatoes, add basil. Nice and chunky.
For cheese, white cheese only! Do not over do it.
For toppings I prefer sliced mushrooms, roasted garlic and olives.
Drizzle some olive oil over the top.

Bake in a very hot oven 450 degrees - 500 for 8 minutes or until it is slightly brown along edges, not crispy, not doughy but chewy.
Serve with a nice tossed green salad of real greens, not lettuce but spinach, some ricotta cheese, wine vinaigrette.

Simplicity is the key. Even with a peasant snack food it is important to have some semblance of tradition.

Ketchup over toasted French bread with Velveeta and hot dogs?
Might as well kill yourself!

Old thread, I know, but I couldn't help replying. Pizza is one of the worst foods a person can eat. I don't care what color the cheese. Wheat flour for the crust (wheat is not good for you to begin with let alone the bleached flour people so often use), processed meats filled with nitrates, tons of ewy gewy fatty cheese, tomato sauce which is filled with sodium. Nope, you can have that pizza.

You better make sure your mozzarella comes from a water buffalo, else you're a fraud.

How about you make your damn pizza yourself or learn how to be gracious and grateful for the food you get, you prick!

It is a peasant snack food. Quite delicious if prepped accordingly as most peasant foods are.

Home grown Heirloom tomatoes, no pesticides.
Home grown mushrooms, it is quite easy.
Olive oil is one of the better fats for you, if it is organic.
The body needs certain fats if one is active or not.

The wheat we know today is not actual wheat, it is manipulated in labs. It is a hybrid of many different things.
This is why it is toxic.

Organically grown wheat is actually very nutritious.
A small amount of carbs is also necessary.

Did I mention meats? No. If meats should be used they should also be organic and free range, pre-grilled and used sparingly.
No grease involved.

Cheese? Well most of the cheeses people come across today are not real cheese but again grown in factories, plants, labs with additives.
Organic cheese. You can easily make your own as people have for thousands of years.
The same can be said for cured meats, cured as in dried, smoked, preserved naturally with herbs, minerals and smoke.

None of these things are bad for you in moderation served with fresh and organically grown greens in a salad.

People confuse food out of a box with food grown and tended by your own hands far away from labs.
Heirloom, Organic, Free-Range!