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X Marks the Spot

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aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 05:45 AM
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Ages and kinematics of clusters
[link to adsabs.harvard.edu]

See the last paragraph on pg 15. So a large percentage of young stars near the sun,perhaps the whole Gould Belt complex,could have been produced from one cloud? This cloud has a high relative motion compared to the sun? In EU, don't we know that when the mainstream says "young", they really should be saying "high current input"? So we are seeing a whole "cloud" of stars (already noted as a filament), all with signs of having relatively high current input?
 Quoting: observation

 Quoting: aether


Not only does the information presented in the following paper convey what the interaction of double-layers might be like; the “Sancini-van Woerden filament” that “stretches almost perpendicular to the galactic plane” is relavant. Note also that other (HI) filaments are indicated in this rough portrayal as existing in that region: [link to articles.adsabs.harvard.edu]

No further information on the SvW “Fibre” other than its existence and possible interaction with our heliosphere:
The interaction of Loop I with theSancini-van Woerden Fibre can result in the evaporation of significant part of the Fibre that can substantially influence the position of the heliopause in the Solar System. [link to adsabs.harvard.edu]
 Quoting: NASA


 Quoting: theosophy


Last Edited by aether on 12/03/2012 05:49 AM
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 05:56 AM
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Heliopause

The heliopause is the theoretical boundary where the Sun's solar wind is stopped by the interstellar medium; where the solar wind's strength is no longer great enough to push back the stellar winds of the surrounding stars. Voyager 1 is expected to cross the heliopause by 2014
 Quoting: observation

[link to en.wikipedia.org]

 Quoting: littlemiracles


wow, not that is interesting
going to look into this further
thanks :)
 Quoting: NiNzrez


back in 2008 when that was announced nin, "we" looked at it and decided this:

I don't think the heliosphere is any smaller myself. I believe they "infer" the process based on a pressure model. I do not see that process that way. It is a charge model, its tension, not pressure. Its also a tensegrity model. Therefore I predict the compression elements (sun and planets) and the tension member (heliosphere) are consistent in galactic terms. Yet It does flucate all the time, it breathes so to speak. So their percentage of change, I do not agree with nor their reasons. It is not static in my mind but will not decrease by 25% due to their pressure model.
 Quoting: 2008


nothing has changed our thinking nor has nasa as yet publicly altered it pressure model
 Quoting: aether

Thread: SOLAR WATCH * 312 M & 25 X FLARES starting 3-7-2011 (Updated Daily) (Page 241)
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 06:06 AM
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I know...it's hard not to doubt the obvious ;)

I felt like you did for a few years now. Introspection has brought me to awhereness of the magic around me. Different clues...whispers of knowledge and the future that come out of the blue. I stopped fighting finally...that's hard for a warrior...but to truly be a warrior means to be still and listen to the wind...

I have learned the enviornment keeps you being you...until you break through the barrier. You were someone else in another time/enviornment. Seeing the true reality and beauty around you in the present...should remind you. you already know what I speak...

funny is fun...

laughter is always the best medicine/magic

afro
 Quoting: aether


yes laughter is the best medicine/magic hugs
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 06:09 AM
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rofl

reminds me of someone whom knew me quite well asked

"why do you always laugh at angry men"

it appears laughter multi tasks including
prompting us to see
how we are never needing to be
if we would but see
 Quoting: aether
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 06:28 AM
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Re: X Marks the Spot
Ice in the Furnace
Dec 03, 2012

Is there frozen water on Mercury?

Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice.

— Robert Frost
...........................
 Quoting: observation

[link to www.thunderbolts.info]
 Quoting: aether


you know i go emotionally colder than ice could ever imagine to be
sometimes
it is not me
it is my response to what prompts it to be
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 07:04 AM
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Everything feels much smoother now...

:)


I stopped to pick up a 6-pack and I noticed one of my favorite breweries had a new beer out.

It's called 'Chainbreaker White'.

tounge


It's good.

cheers


Dear God...

I just went to get the link for 'Deschutes Brewery' and after 'entering my birthdate' yeahsure

The first page opens to 'The Abyss'
[link to www.deschutesbrewery.com]


damned
 Quoting: Seer777


yes
i`m acknowledging the bumps i`ve experienced while being here
more a risk assessment than anything else tounge
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 07:12 AM
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Dear God...

I just went to get the link for 'Deschutes Brewery' and after 'entering my birthdate' yeahsure

The first page opens to 'The Abyss'
[link to www.deschutesbrewery.com]


damned
 Quoting: aether




yes
you notice that possessing little practical knowing of the nature of our universe, thus our own environment, has prompted that which is was to be avoided into becoming inadvertently that which is deified within the belief by thinking it was something else

and that is what continuously prompts me to laugh inside

simplicity wrapped in complexity is what it is

complexity wrapped in belief is what it became

but
now we know
all will grow tounge

Last Edited by aether on 12/03/2012 07:14 AM
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 07:39 AM
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Recent experiments gave results that closely match many features on planetary bodies.
Check out full explanation in the various html pages and pick through images in the directory and
sub-directories for this effort.
[link to www.para-az.com]
 Quoting: observation


in our past few decades institutions such as los alamos have reproduced in laboratory all observed topographical features observed on earth , moon and all planetary bodies within our solar system, utilizing electricity and reproducing/applying the assumed electrical conditions of our solar system past
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 07:42 AM
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UK Threatens To Withdraw Ambassador To Israel
[link to news.sky.com]
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 08:06 AM
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Re: X Marks the Spot
sigh...why I am explaining this?

 Quoting: Ava Mary Angel where 28852509


This...

no I am klaireyb - I am new/infrequant poster old lurker !
I forget to state my name but I should join cos keep getting banned and feel lonley :)

actually i think i will join ..

Hi xx
 Quoting: klaireyb 25382105


Thank you for clarifying. You will find that I find familiarity to be a trait I appreciate very much.

Confusion regarding identity and intention, clam me up faster than anything.


 Quoting: Seer777



I become familiar with certain patterns in peoples writing, inflection and tone.

But it is fallible.


Especially with the history...

I hope you understand.

:)


hugs
 Quoting: Seer777


I am sorry I managed to confuse you hf

tho I have no idea how,

x
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 09:13 AM
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Dear God...

I just went to get the link for 'Deschutes Brewery' and after 'entering my birthdate' yeahsure

The first page opens to 'The Abyss'
[link to www.deschutesbrewery.com]


damned
 Quoting: aether




yes
you notice that possessing little practical knowing of the nature of our universe, thus our own environment, has prompted that which is was to be avoided into becoming inadvertently that which is deified within the belief by thinking it was something else

and that is what continuously prompts me to laugh inside

simplicity wrapped in complexity is what it is

complexity wrapped in belief is what it became

but
now we know
all will grow tounge
 Quoting: aether


simple law : complex expression


i been thinking "snowflakes" , lately. every one guided by the same formation rules, yet each unique, a result of basic law modified by the local environment.

we humans get so mesmerized by the complex patterns/beauty and fail to pull back a bit and remove our gaze from the complex details.

cause for much confusion.

i feel we worry way too much over details we cant possibly predict or control and the truths are so simple when we look for the big shape rather than the fine detail, particularly since the big shape always expresses itself slightly differently.

we're so caught up in expression, still blind to the roots.

......

some weeks ago, while driving from one place to another, and shortly after passing thru a powerful magikal experience, i was able to watch my perception flip between mundane and magikal.
my inernal observer was quite fascinated by way in which my perception could take the same set of facts (my current environment) and 'flip' between two different universes of meaning.
one where it all seemed nothing but physics and circumstance and another were webs and currents guided the actions of others... or something.
the one was steel grey the other filled with colour: emotionally.

the ring down.


it can be hard to hang on to the colour when suronded by nothing but grey machine.. i gotta keep reminding myself.

and i seriously dunno what i'd do without GLP to voice some of this within: those humans arou d me seem to recoil from some truths and i've found that just 'playing' along is best all around.

it can be a bit stifling tho...


the magik is *so* beautiful, Aether
i wish everyone could see its colour the way i do. if no other reason than, its WAY more fun.
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:24 AM
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I will say it was wonderful to see the Sun this morning on my drive down, after not seeing it for nearly a week. All the water on the road, reflected the light up creating a feeling of driving into a welders torch.

lol.


hugs
 Quoting: Seer777


the sun is quiet right now so i thought i would post this
it's going into summer for our friends down under
and with winter on it's way in the states and northern latitudes, we need to be getting out in the sun as much as we can
take advantage of every sunny day your able to :)
you might have heard many of us posts info along these lines here and there, but i just ran across this article that puts it all into one nice neat little package of information
:)

Canadian Researchers Discover New Evidence That Vitamin D Shuts Down Cancer Cells
[link to wakeup-world.com]

“We observed vitamin D insufficiency (defined as blood levels <20 ng/ml), in one third of our study participants. This was associated with nearly a 50 percent increase in the mortality rate in older adults,” said Kritchevsky. “Our findings suggest that low levels of vitamin D may be a substantial public health concern for our nation’s older adults.”

The link between vitamin D intake and protection from cancer dates from the 1940s when Frank Apperly demonstrated a link between latitude and deaths from cancer, and suggested that sunlight gave “a relative cancer immunity”.

Light-skinned women who had high amounts of long-term sun exposure had half the risk of developing advanced breast cancer (cancer that spreads beyond your breast) as women with lower amounts of regular sun exposure, according to a study in the American Journal of Epidemiology


Stay Away From Sunscreen

Skin color adapts to sunlight intensities which produce vitamin D or ultraviolet light damage to folic acid. Researchers at the University of Leeds suggest that people with very pale skin may be unable to spend enough time in the sun to make the amount of vitamin D the body needs — while also avoiding sunburn. The key is to stay away from conventional subscreen and use non-toxic alternatives to extend exposure time.

The further you live from the equator, the longer exposure you need to the sun in order to generate vitamin D. Canada, the UK and most U.S. states are far from the equator and the logic of using sunscreen is quickly becoming illogical even in scientific circles

The vitamin is D, nicknamed the “sunshine vitamin” because the skin makes it from ultraviolet rays. Sunscreen blocks its production, but dermatologists and health agencies have long preached that such lotions are needed to prevent skin cancer. Now some scientists are questioning that advice. The reason is that vitamin D increasingly seems important for preventing and even treating many types of cancer
 Quoting: NiNzrez


GREAT info NIN...I supersupplement Vitamin D in the winter to try and keep my Vitamin D levels up...nothing can compare to actual exposure time, but when you work during the day its hard to find time to get the amount of sunlight that you need! More and more people are suffering from a deficiency in it and they don't realize how important it is for many bodily processes!
 Quoting: MissionInvisible


it feels to me while we experience our altering environment through our noticeable future , location, location , location will be an ever increasing vital factor for a variety of reasons
Jonny Blaze

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12/03/2012 09:26 AM
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Good morning aether.
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:26 AM
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Dear God...

I just went to get the link for 'Deschutes Brewery' and after 'entering my birthdate' yeahsure

The first page opens to 'The Abyss'
[link to www.deschutesbrewery.com]


damned
 Quoting: aether




yes
you notice that possessing little practical knowing of the nature of our universe, thus our own environment, has prompted that which is was to be avoided into becoming inadvertently that which is deified within the belief by thinking it was something else

and that is what continuously prompts me to laugh inside

simplicity wrapped in complexity is what it is

complexity wrapped in belief is what it became

but
now we know
all will grow tounge
 Quoting: aether


simple law : complex expression


i been thinking "snowflakes" , lately. every one guided by the same formation rules, yet each unique, a result of basic law modified by the local environment.

we humans get so mesmerized by the complex patterns/beauty and fail to pull back a bit and remove our gaze from the complex details.

cause for much confusion.

i feel we worry way too much over details we cant possibly predict or control and the truths are so simple when we look for the big shape rather than the fine detail, particularly since the big shape always expresses itself slightly differently.

we're so caught up in expression, still blind to the roots.

......

some weeks ago, while driving from one place to another, and shortly after passing thru a powerful magikal experience, i was able to watch my perception flip between mundane and magikal.
my inernal observer was quite fascinated by way in which my perception could take the same set of facts (my current environment) and 'flip' between two different universes of meaning.
one where it all seemed nothing but physics and circumstance and another were webs and currents guided the actions of others... or something.
the one was steel grey the other filled with colour: emotionally.

the ring down.


it can be hard to hang on to the colour when suronded by nothing but grey machine.. i gotta keep reminding myself.

and i seriously dunno what i'd do without GLP to voice some of this within: those humans arou d me seem to recoil from some truths and i've found that just 'playing' along is best all around.

it can be a bit stifling tho...


the magik is *so* beautiful, Aether
i wish everyone could see its colour the way i do. if no other reason than, its WAY more fun.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9905909


wonderful expression you possess hugs
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:28 AM
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Good morning aether.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


good morning jonny
haha
you possess impeccable timing
if i may say
just at the moments i feel my self resettling within myself
you say good morning

lovley
Jonny Blaze

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12/03/2012 09:32 AM
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Good morning aether.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


good morning jonny
haha
you possess impeccable timing
if i may say
just at the moments i feel my self resettling within myself
you say good morning

lovley
 Quoting: aether


I'm sure it was just a coincidence, my friend.
Today I feel my proper place in the universe
insignificant.

Strange that I feel no emotion associated with this recognition.
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:43 AM
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i experienced the grating metal upon metal just the once
i was awake but laying in bed in night dark and in that era of my life i was content to experience thought forms as real, i still am really.
i believe the thought form topic and my attitude to them is linked to the grating experience because i had satanist occult (their term) interested in me prompting me to be interested in them
the stage their and my relationship had reached was me interested in what one of them told me which was they were involved in the occult because only they could emotionally reach the bottom of hell and return and because of this they had over many years become trusted by the occult leadership and above leading past satan to the original satan
what they told me was with them on the inside and me being me it was possible for them to alter the original satan because it would allow them and only them access

the day of me being told this story i experienced the grating sound above my head to the front of me accompanied by the distinct feeling something has arrived

nothing more happened in the grating event and my subsequent conclusion to the satanist/occult proved satisfactory over the next few linear years

not exactly as the original story but rather an improvised version formed as all went along in keeping with mood at the time
 Quoting: aether


which prompts me to remember this
my interest was to experience what our authorities faith on the topic hell consisted of
what i discovered was what i knew to be true is true

the structure and function of our earth within it`s environment has, for thousands of years, prompted emotion within people expressed as anger (fear) and/or sexual attraction wrapped in the label love
the consequences of which prompted faith in hell to arise
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:47 AM
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Good morning aether.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


good morning jonny
haha
you possess impeccable timing
if i may say
just at the moments i feel my self resettling within myself
you say good morning

lovley
 Quoting: aether


I'm sure it was just a coincidence, my friend.
Today I feel my proper place in the universe
insignificant.

Strange that I feel no emotion associated with this recognition.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


sounds sensible
nothing in your way to inhibit discovery thus no surprises other than those you enjoy experiencing tounge
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:49 AM
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 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28910250
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 09:57 AM
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very many people are thinking this way today smile_hear

aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 10:01 AM
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Re: X Marks the Spot
>~* Flutterby Fringe*~<

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12/03/2012 10:02 AM

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Good morning aether.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


good morning jonny
haha
you possess impeccable timing
if i may say
just at the moments i feel my self resettling within myself
you say good morning

lovley
 Quoting: aether


I'm sure it was just a coincidence, my friend.
Today I feel my proper place in the universe
insignificant.

Strange that I feel no emotion associated with this recognition.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


do you feel as tho 2 inceptions less and the smoke has all but cleared? Can see clearly now ... its going to happen more and peace will set in as well ... school is just about over Jonny / Love Yourself , Forgive Yourself
Yea tho I walk thru the valley of the Shadow of death I shall Fear no Evil

Love to all on this fantastical day , may your wings take you above the Horizon into the in~between so that you see the true reflection's of You ...


love dust



The Eagle and the Hawk

I am the eagle, I live in high country,
In rocky cathedrals that reach to the sky,
I am the hawk and there's blood on my feathers,
But time is still turning, they soon will be dry,
And all those who see me, and all who believe in me,
Share in the freedom I feel when I fly!

Come dance with the west wind,
And touch all the mountain tops,
Sail o'er the canyons, and up to the stars,
And reach for the heavens, and hope for the future,
And all that we can be, not what we are.

— John Denver
"It is Wholeness and Balance That I seek"
"Somewhere beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,
there is a Garden , The Balance. I’ll meet you there."


ENFJ-A " the Protagonist"

“The heart and mind must be brought into perfect equilibrium before true thinking or true spirituality can be attained. The highest function of the mind is reason; the highest function of the heart is intuition, a sensing process not necessitating the normal working of the mind.”

~Manly P. Hall

createOR
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 10:03 AM
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lol rupert sheldarake /\ appears to have experienced a cosmology experience
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 10:05 AM
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Re: X Marks the Spot
good morning fringe cheer
Jonny Blaze

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12/03/2012 10:05 AM
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Good morning aether.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


good morning jonny
haha
you possess impeccable timing
if i may say
just at the moments i feel my self resettling within myself
you say good morning

lovley
 Quoting: aether


I'm sure it was just a coincidence, my friend.
Today I feel my proper place in the universe
insignificant.

Strange that I feel no emotion associated with this recognition.
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


sounds sensible
nothing in your way to inhibit discovery thus no surprises other than those you enjoy experiencing tounge
 Quoting: aether


That's just it. The feeling of insignificance is so thorough that I can not say with any certainty what I enjoy or what I don't enjoy. There seems to be no difference at the moment, due to the insignificance I feel.

Regarding your previous post, I once was convinced that hell was actually here on earth. It was during that time in my life when I fasted to the point of death. I had a realization without rationality that I was in hell, and the only way out was to end my life. I also had a realization that I would not be allowed to end my life by my own will. I was certain that something would intervene to stop me. So, I tried to drown myself. Sure enough, forces intervened and I survived. The next day I was arrested and thrown into the Harris County Jail, where I again faced death. This time not by my own will. I blacked out twice...the second time for hours and hours as I lied on my back in that cell. Everything was dark, but I realized later that they kept the light on in my cell the entire time. When I got out, and was laid on my back in the back seat of my mom's car, I stopped breathing and they had to call an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived, they told my mom that I was too weak to lay on my back and breath; I needed to be placed on an incline. Yet I was lying on my back for hours and hours in that cell just an hour or so before.

I often wonder why I am still here. What am I supposed to do? Did I live just to confront that strange old man in the laundry room? If so, why did I survive that encounter?

It's not that I feel self pity. I honestly feel to insignificant to indulge in that. I understand how the past happened. I don't understand what the significance of these things are. Who was that old man? Did I just hallucinate all the things I saw?

I see the influence I can have and have had over those around me. Yet, I still feel as though this is insignificant. It is hard to reconcile the fact that the philosophy I follow is focused on the potential of the individual spirit and awareness of man. Yet, there still exists this insignificance that flies in the face of my adopted philosophy yet at the same time reinforces it.

What next?
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
Jonny Blaze

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12/03/2012 10:07 AM
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do you feel as tho 2 inceptions less and the smoke has all but cleared? Can see clearly now ... its going to happen more and peace will set in as well ... school is just about over Jonny / Love Yourself , Forgive Yourself
Yea tho I walk thru the valley of the Shadow of death I shall Fear no Evil

Love to all on this fantastical day , may your wings take you above the Horizon into the in~between so that you see the true reflection's of You ...

The Eagle and the Hawk

I am the eagle, I live in high country,
In rocky cathedrals that reach to the sky,
I am the hawk and there's blood on my feathers,
But time is still turning, they soon will be dry,
And all those who see me, and all who believe in me,
Share in the freedom I feel when I fly!

Come dance with the west wind,
And touch all the mountain tops,
Sail o'er the canyons, and up to the stars,
And reach for the heavens, and hope for the future,
And all that we can be, not what we are.

— John Denver
 Quoting: >~* Flutterby Fringe*~<


Thank you for your kind words, fringe. ;)
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 10:21 AM
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"There are many people whom have developed machines which they claim are above unity machines.
above unity because you get more energy out than you put in
sometimes they are called free energy machines
most people that have made them believe that they are tapping the quantum vacuum field, this vast reserve of energy in the field
when people develop these machines and there are probably 20 or 30 moderately credible inventions of this kind in the world at the moment , if you do a google search on "above unity machine or devices" you will find millions of hits
when people develop these machines and they go and talk to professors of physics about them
are these professors of physics delighted saying thid will solve the worlds energy problem , reduce the need for carbon based fuels, make norway bankrupt because because of oil exports going down
no they do not say that at all
they say "this is impossible, these machines can not work, these people are cranks and madmen and we know they can not work because they are perpetual motion machines and perpetual motion machines are prohibited by the law of the conservation of energy and the laws of thermodynamics"
they are outlawed so the can not exist"
Jonny Blaze

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12/03/2012 10:25 AM
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Re: X Marks the Spot
do you feel as tho 2 inceptions less and the smoke has all but cleared?
 Quoting: >~* Flutterby Fringe*~<


To answer your question:

I feel that all there is is smoke.
The engravings translate to "This space intentionally left blank."

The prayer is inscribed in an ancient script, rarely used today. It seems to be a philippic against small insects, absent-mindedness, and the picking up and dropping of small objects.

The gate is open; through it you can see a desolation, with a pile of mangled bodies in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, can be heard.
The way through the gate is barred by evil spirits, who jeer at your attempts to pass.
aether (OP)

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12/03/2012 10:25 AM
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[

That's just it. The feeling of insignificance is so thorough that I can not say with any certainty what I enjoy or what I don't enjoy. There seems to be no difference at the moment, due to the insignificance I feel.

Regarding your previous post, I once was convinced that hell was actually here on earth. It was during that time in my life when I fasted to the point of death. I had a realization without rationality that I was in hell, and the only way out was to end my life. I also had a realization that I would not be allowed to end my life by my own will. I was certain that something would intervene to stop me. So, I tried to drown myself. Sure enough, forces intervened and I survived. The next day I was arrested and thrown into the Harris County Jail, where I again faced death. This time not by my own will. I blacked out twice...the second time for hours and hours as I lied on my back in that cell. Everything was dark, but I realized later that they kept the light on in my cell the entire time. When I got out, and was laid on my back in the back seat of my mom's car, I stopped breathing and they had to call an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived, they told my mom that I was too weak to lay on my back and breath; I needed to be placed on an incline. Yet I was lying on my back for hours and hours in that cell just an hour or so before.

I often wonder why I am still here. What am I supposed to do? Did I live just to confront that strange old man in the laundry room? If so, why did I survive that encounter?

It's not that I feel self pity. I honestly feel to insignificant to indulge in that. I understand how the past happened. I don't understand what the significance of these things are. Who was that old man? Did I just hallucinate all the things I saw?

I see the influence I can have and have had over those around me. Yet, I still feel as though this is insignificant. It is hard to reconcile the fact that the philosophy I follow is focused on the potential of the individual spirit and awareness of man. Yet, there still exists this insignificance that flies in the face of my adopted philosophy yet at the same time reinforces it.

What next?
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


the wonderful emotion of knowing there is always something next hugs
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 10:26 AM
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That's just it. The feeling of insignificance is so thorough that I can not say with any certainty what I enjoy or what I don't enjoy.

I often wonder why I am still here.



I see the influence I can have and have had over those around me. Yet, I still feel as though this is insignificant. It is hard to reconcile the fact that the philosophy I follow is focused on the potential of the individual spirit and awareness of man. Yet, there still exists this insignificance that flies in the face of my adopted philosophy yet at the same time reinforces it.

What next?
 Quoting: Jonny Blaze


i curious dilemma, to be sure, Jonny.

insignificance is a matter of perspective: what do you think the microbial life that makes it's home within you 'think' about significance?

and maybe you are measuring it with the incorrect metric...

is significance measured by the impact you have on others? how can a 'significant' artist affect those that are blind? How can you measure your own worth by the actions of others, whether or not they are affected by you?

tizz a spurious and ever changing ruler that u use.

everybody affects everybody: it's just that this affectation expresses itself in it's own way and seldom matches any preconcieved ideas we may have: whitness children of christions becoming athiest or vis-versa.

your significance is you: it is the potential that lies within you and its full relaization comes when you allow yourself to fully express yourself, when you trust your feelings and act acordingly.

remove your focus from others (their expressions you cannot change) and pay atention to oportunities that rise within yourself.

who the FUCK cares whether another sees it as significant or not, whether they join you or fight you. to your own self: be true.


and you will find that others respond in the most curious manor, often surprising and rarely 'sensible'. some will fight, others will be inspired, niether should move you from your own path of self becoming.

you are a gift, to yourself and others, but only when you cease to attempt to guide their lives and simply express your own potential.

let the others work out their own details, snowflake style.


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