yes i remember clearly there was no particular something to prompt me fearful it was the "texture" of the environment, pitch dark silence, nothing outside of myself to orientate myself to
the orb(s) , looking back with hindsight provided that orientation (something else) for me to maintain my self awareness comfortable within
again with hindsight, being orientated ( comfortable self awareness) i maintained comfort whilst utilizing my intuitive senses (faster than light) in the sightless silent environment knowing that if i become fearful the orbs evaporated my arising fear instantly by their illumination

so by the time i never needed an orb holding my hand within sightless silent environment was the time when i had become used to utilizing my intuitive senses, without thought of requiring additional confirmation from my light speed senses of sight, sound and touch

looking back i was matching sensory knowing between material and non material informational (emotional) reality by superimposing one over the other to form completed picture

is how it feels