i awoke abruptly at 7.00 am uk time acutely aware i needed to re look at my past emotional experiences that placed me within this present emotional experience
i got up and sat re experiencing my past until it made sense to me , noticed it was raining hard and decided to return to bed , it was just before 8.00 am

i walked into a favorite restaurant of mine of many years ago and sat down at the table where my from years ago chairman and c/o were sitting as they taked intently to princess diana
the tables are 3 seats per side so i sat opposite the 3 of them next to a male whom felt familiar but was not clear to see
diana and my 2 ignored me , which felt uncomfortable for me
the guy on my left talked small talk to me when i wanted to but i was really watching the 3 of them and wondering why i was being ignored from a few feet away
the 2 guys looked the same as they ever did, same cloths even
diana was same age but her facial features had acquired an angular tone i didn`t like and her hair was jet black which did not suit her at all
it was obvious that my 2 guys were enchanting her with whatever they were telling and she was enjoying their company
i could not hear their conversations
from behind me and to my right 6 more of my guys from those days sat down at a 6 seat table across the aisle opposite and they all ignore me to
making me more uncomfortable
a waiter puts menus on our table and i like the food and talk small talk to mr familiar on my left as i look at the menu to then notice diana and my 2 guys are now sitting at a table behind my 6 guys
they had left me leaving me with an emotional choice

do i sit alone in front of those i know or leave

i left next to be standing on the sidewalk outside this house in daylight with an 18 inch high white man in 20th century business suit, head a bit big for his body, no neck, collar and tie, suit buttoned up, black shiny shoes, wispy average length hair holding a worn black soft leather briefcase nearly bigger than him saying
"this is for you"
and seemed to be explaining that he had spoken to my guys first believing it was the right thing to do

i was aware of his difficulty talking to me because i am 6 ft 2" so i crouched to be closer to his scale
as i crouched he diminished to "gone" leaving only the soft briefcase
i noticed while crouching all my guys were chatting away as they walked down the hillside sidewalk opposite this house sounding like they had a fun lunch
i stood up and walked quickly into this house, this room and open the briefcase by a sofa that is no longer in this house
in the briefcase was a blue folder which i opened
it contained a sheaf of papers of a4 size
i heard the front door being opened and knew my guys could as easily walk into this room as go upstairs
i looked at the top a4 page and needed to hold it close to my eyes because the handwriting was faint with age
it looked like a page of headings
i read the first heading
"(my real name) may be related to the grail bloodlines"
i placed the papers and the folder under the sofa (hid them)
i woke up