I here you James. I've gotten past a lot of the frustration aspects of it.

I just had a light go on in my head though. I need a creative outlet. That is the one thing that resonates with this process, and is exactly what I described above, at least in my thoughts.

Creativity: It is a feeling of unending, like that when feeling the brush of 'eternal', and it makes one melancholic but without the anxiety 'eternal' can bring with it. There is no feeling of depression, or anger. No blame, no pity. etc. It is like trying to get a job done that has no ending. Just changes in job description, lol.

That is how I need to balance my inner turmoil, through creativity. I need not worry if something is correct, or incorrect, I just need to create.